Intimacy Blurt it out

Blurt it out

gotta love my momma - 28/08/2014 05:08 - United States - Folsom

Today, I got married. My booze-hound mother made a toast, and told a story about how she once walked in on us having sex. My husband's family is very religious, and we told them we weren't having sex until marriage. Thanks mom. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

White lie

Sorrymom - 11/08/2017 01:30

Today, I had to watch as my deeply religious mother broke out in tears of joy, as she said how happy she was that I was waiting until marriage to have sex. I didn't have the heart to tell her that my fiancé and I fucked on the first date. FML

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Excuses

sucks - 12/03/2009 17:53 - United States

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very Christian family, I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "Is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" FML

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TMI

crazyman. - 12/05/2012 05:27 - United States - Keller

Today, my fiancé got drunk at our wedding reception and announced to his and my family what we do in bed. And it was pretty detailed. FML

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Anonymous - 10/10/2015 06:39 - Canada - Victoria

Today, my wedding celebration came to an awkward pause when my dad slapped my mom across the face and called her a whore after she admitted to having an affair. FML

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Oh no…

probably_the_ex_now - 18/08/2009 08:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his family. They were drinking and having fun, so I joined in. I had one too many, got really goofy, and then suggested the farting game. "Sorry, I can't hold my liquor!" I quickly explained. My boyfriend's mom shot me a cold look and said, "It's non-alcoholic." FML

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Slippery slope

ur_life_dus_suck - - United States - Wayne

Today, my mom celebrated a year's sobriety by having a couple of beers with her boyfriend. FML

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Illinoisgirl - 14/02/2012 14:29 - Hungary

Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML

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SierraCheyenne - 30/04/2013 01:57 - United States - Hannibal

Today, my parents finally got married. At the after-party, my mother got drunk and informed me that even though she and my father were now married, it doesn't change the fact that I'm still a bastard. FML

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notnow - 27/09/2013 01:32 - United States

Today, minutes before I walked down the aisle at my wedding, my drunk mother stumbled up to me and told me she was depressed and wanted to leave. FML

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jacey chreyest - 14/02/2014 21:57 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I married the love of my life. I was ecstatic until the wedding reception, where my new husband got drunk and started crying about how he'd been "forced" into marrying me. FML

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smallfrie32 6

Tuesday 28 August 2012 16:06

Well honesty should always be something we strive for, but at least you had the intention of keeping your husband's family happy.

sensoon15 7

Tuesday 28 August 2012 16:08

Id just tell my husband's family that my mother has an active imagination and makes up these stories when she's drunk.

chinagirl3343 8

Tuesday 28 August 2012 18:23

Ydi for lying to them but fyl for it coming out at your wedding.

Lucia_Malpense 14

Tuesday 28 August 2012 18:25

Yeah. FYL for having religious in-laws. Hopefully your future husband isn't- if he is, FYL even more.

TheyCallMeDamien 17

Tuesday 28 August 2012 18:41

You already have the ring baby so you're good. They'll just have to get over it.

SwtCherryPie 26

Tuesday 28 August 2012 18:43

That's what you get for lying. I drive a tank.

whythey 7

Tuesday 28 August 2012 18:45

oh gosh. good luck to you and your husband. try to say that your mother has an issue and lies excessively.

steph8391 11

Tuesday 28 August 2012 19:06

Why oh why do people not lock their damn doors? Trust me- once you have kids you better, unless you plan on scarring them for life.

blahblahblah5_x 13

Tuesday 28 August 2012 19:16

Well, you shouldn't have lied.

N1GHTS 12

Tuesday 28 August 2012 19:28

Honesty is the best policy :P

texas_redneck88 10

Tuesday 28 August 2012 19:34

Who in the hell waits until marriage to have sex? This is the way I look at it; sex before marriage is like test drivin' a vehicle before you buy it.

venomousddog 19

Tuesday 28 August 2012 20:42

87- that's the way you see it but not everyone sees it that way

crazy4uboi 6

Tuesday 28 August 2012 19:42

You deserve it for lying

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my wife has initiated sex less than five times in the 18 years we've been married. If I don't mention it, then she doesn't have to bother. FML

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Today, my daughter had an anxiety attack. Why? Because I told her she needs to be making her bed every day. FML

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Today, on the first day of 2024, I, a healthy 32 year-old, woke up to find I not only pissed the bed, but also shat myself in my sleep. I have no idea what I ate to cause this, nor how I didn't wake up when it was happening. This new year is literally off to a shit start. FML

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Today, I tried buying a video game that was rated "M - for mature". The Cashier told me "you have to be 17 to buy this game". I didn't have any ID on me. I'm 25. FML

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Today, my friend was picking on me at school by constantly tapping on my shoulder. At recess I had enough. I felt the familiar tap on my shoulder, and I drove my elbow into what I thought was my friend's stomach. It was my Principal. FML

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Today, I went on a date with a guy who kept checking his phone every five minutes. When I asked him if everything was okay, he told me he was just playing Candy Crush. FML

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