Love, Health, Sex Intimacy Bazinga

Bazinga

Anonymous - 20/03/2009 15:07 - United States

Today, I had my girlfriend over and we were hugging when she put her feet on my feet. We started walking around like that and I said, "This is hard to maintain." She replied with "So's your erection." FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

arctic1 - 27/05/2009 09:45 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML

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illequipt - 16/03/2009 03:20 - Canada

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

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Anonymous - 24/04/2013 18:56 - United States - Huntington Park

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

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shallowvomit1013 - 23/12/2009 01:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, i started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML

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Brian - 20/11/2012 15:50 - United States - Sandston

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML

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Pleased to see me?

Anonymous - 28/10/2011 23:39 - United States

Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML

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timmynotjimmy - 28/10/2009 01:28 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend told me how disappointed and depressed she was that she could never make me hard. She started ranting about her looks and how she fails at everything. I didn't know how to reply. I was hard while she told me. FML

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Smooth talker

ugh - 31/01/2012 00:25 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

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ScottyB - 22/12/2014 08:05 - United States - Peabody

Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML

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sixsix - 24/12/2008 11:19 - France

Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML

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Weil 0

Friday 20 March 2009 20:04

Owned.

Astroman129 7

Saturday 27 March 2010 14:40

Yeah, I hate when some people decide to make things a lot more depressing for no reason. It would be even worse if you had erectile dysfunction. =[

silentfirefly 0

Friday 20 March 2009 22:04

...she was joking.

Art_Vandeley 0

Friday 20 March 2009 22:18

wow what a bitch

jSOPURE 3

Friday 20 March 2009 22:21

I also agree with #25. Poke, poke, fun. :)

Tuxedo_Mask 0

Friday 20 March 2009 22:21

reminds me of my boyfriend, he always gets a boner when we hug. it's cute in my opinion

thebeefytaco 0

Friday 20 March 2009 22:29

what's with all of the FMLs like this, they're just joking...

mykon_fml 0

Friday 20 March 2009 22:39

well you know what you say back? THATS YOUR FAULT BITCH BE SEXIER! damn. extra owned.

unfixie 0

Friday 20 March 2009 22:43

a lot of people are taking this so seriously. and to #41 --- those are facts about us (women) .. and yes, it has to do with our hormones!.. yet again, i find this FML funny..and that this couple are cute... it's NOT worse than your boyfriend telling you that you should get you boobs done. a little bit. and then when he saw my upset face, he followed just kidding. he's kidding or not, that hurt -- cuz that was a body part that he was talking about...and he got mad at me for not taking the joke. BS. so # 35, there's my experience! it's better than this FML erection thing!

urallosers 0

Friday 20 March 2009 23:05

so y don't you just get rid of her? are you that pathetic? if a girl says something like, why not come back with 'wonder why' as in your girlfriend is ugly? have some balls, guy.