Bananarama By wtfisthisworldcomingto - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML I agree, your life sucks 37 883 You deserved it 7 510 Share Tweet Share
Today, I had to pick up my dad because he was too drunk to drive home. Drive his wheelchair home, that is. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 225 You deserved it 103
Today, I have to pay my college an extra $1000 because there is a $20 charge every time you get locked out of your room, and I have an extremely poor short-term memory. I'm also only allowed to have exactly one keycard at any given time. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 198 You deserved it 3 379
Today, I started to seductively kiss my girlfriend on the neck. When I asked her if she liked it, she said, "Yes, because I don't have to smell your breath." FML I agree, your life sucks 28 475 You deserved it 28 816
Today, I came home from a crazy costume party and took a hot shower. When I opened my eyes and saw the water running from my head was bloody, I freaked out and called my friend for help. She had to remind me that for the party, I'd coloured my hair red with washable hair dye. FML I agree, your life sucks 25 680 You deserved it 17 318
Today, I went on a blind date with a guy. We went back to his place, and after getting it on, he rolled onto his back and told me, "You can put that on your Bumble profile, you got a good dicking" then helicoptered his dick around, thinking it was sexy. I missed the last train, so I walked home after that. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 278 You deserved it 714
Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML I agree, your life sucks 30 864 You deserved it 6 969
did he stab you with the banana?
That's important information. Tell the cops to search for banana breath.