Bananarama By wtfisthisworldcomingto - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML I agree, your life sucks 37 883 You deserved it 7 510 Share Tweet Share
Today, one of my workmates had threatened to destroy my car completely if I fired him for low performance. I was actually shocked, not because of the threat, but because I don't have a car of my own. I don't know how to drive, either. FML I agree, your life sucks 938 You deserved it 118
Today, it's been a week that I've had bad constipation. Overeating on my 16th birthday last week got me sick; since then I've pooped only once, and it took a hard push to go it out. Today I had my second poop. Good news: I did go. Bad: it happened on the bus home from school. My pals actually cheered when I finished straining. FML I agree, your life sucks 179 You deserved it 329
Today, I saw my ex husband walking with his very beautiful, very pregnant wife. We divorced 7 months ago because he told me he was gay. FML I agree, your life sucks 78 652 You deserved it 5 591
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML I agree, your life sucks 48 013 You deserved it 6 019
Today, at work, I realized that not everyone in the office needs to hear my explosive diarrhea through the a/c vents that interconnect through the entire building. I think an email was sent around, describing people's reactions in detail. FML I agree, your life sucks 30 118 You deserved it 3 068
Today, I had a shift as a carer in a high-rise disability home, and working with a lady whom was once a midwife. She had a toy baby, and was rocking it. When I asked her what she was going to do what the baby so she could come to lunch, she casually threw the baby off the balcony and shrugged. FML I agree, your life sucks 5 555 You deserved it 531
did he stab you with the banana?
That's important information. Tell the cops to search for banana breath.