Work Bad luck

Bad luck

login_eddy - 17/09/2010 18:37 - France

Today, while cleaning behind a ladder, I banged my head on one of the hand rails. I stood up, cursed, and moved to the other side. To my luck, I hit the other side of my head. I now have two lumps perfectly placed as horns on my head. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Anonymous - 28/01/2012 17:09 - United States

Today, while I was washing my hands, I sneezed so hard that I smacked my head against the faucet. I now have a lump the size of a goose egg on my head. I'm not sure if it's going to hatch, or if that's just the brain damage talking. FML

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Car washed

IHateMyJob - 14/09/2010 02:00 - United States

Today, while scrubbing my car with the foam brush at a car wash, the hose for the brush came whipping around and smacked me hard in the side of the head, knocking off my glasses. I got disoriented from the blow and stepped on my glasses, completely smashing them. FML

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Things hate me

WaychulMonster - 25/10/2022 10:00

Today, while trying to relax because I'm sick and I feel like crap, the shower head attachment fell and hit me on the head. FML

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Accidents will happen

Anonymous - 27/04/2009 05:58 - United States

Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML

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vee2013 - 26/04/2014 04:22 - Canada - London

Today, I finally decided to do something productive and clean my room. When I went to pick up the first thing off my floor, I hit my head on my desk and gave myself a concussion. FML

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Less haste, more speed

D J's MOM - 18/09/2023 20:00

Today, at 11 p.m., after getting up for work at 4:45 a.m., I ran up the stairs to go feed my cat. I slipped on something, missed the handrail, then fell down and cracked my head on the tile floor. My hairclip was dead center, so I then had a fun night in the ER while my dang head wouldn't stop bleeding. FML

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Self report

Bonk - 04/02/2024 08:00 - United States

Today, my clumsiness reached a whole level when I hit myself in the face with a hammer hard enough for blood to come out. FML

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Michael - 25/10/2011 15:00 - Australia

Today, while taking pills for a headache, I threw my head back to help get the pills down, and in the process, whacked it against the brick windowsill behind me. FML

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myheadhurts - 12/11/2013 02:14 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I got a concussion. It was when an entire shelf of bicycle helmets tumbled onto my skull. FML

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Fiat 500 woes

Too tall for this shit - 30/11/2024 22:00 - United States - Fresno

Today, I parked, then opened my car door to get out, and somehow managed to practically knock myself out by banging my head on the frame, then on the car door that had slammed back into my forehead as I was still reeling from hitting the roof. A guy walking by asked if I was okay while trying not to laugh. FML

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bobulant 0

Friday 17 September 2010 23:51

Am I the only one who finds this cool?

Dapsen 0

Friday 17 September 2010 23:50

awesome :D

RoseRivers 0

Saturday 18 September 2010 0:33

you should have fun with it and walk in a church, haha

drawing_a_blank 0

Saturday 18 September 2010 0:36

I guess you know your Halloween costume for this year.

rawrcookiemonste 5

Saturday 18 September 2010 0:37

ahaha fyl!

WickedWendigoX 0

Saturday 18 September 2010 0:40

haha! your the new hellboy or something. xD

FerrariCake 2

Saturday 18 September 2010 3:16

Damn, you beat me to it. Hellboy was the first thing I thought of too.

OnlyAvailableID 28

Saturday 18 September 2010 0:42

Wait. Does that mean you're horny?

WearingHats 14

Saturday 18 September 2010 2:12

That's not funny, don't try so hard next time.

beastdude 0

Saturday 18 September 2010 0:44

wow very smooth

addicted2cod6 0

Saturday 18 September 2010 0:48

how is this an fml? I've always wanted horns

conor19 0

Saturday 18 September 2010 0:51

the thing is he's probably over exaggerating and the bump are tiny and barely visible

OwNowBrownCow 0

Saturday 18 September 2010 1:07

I don't want to hear from you, son of satan.

underguarded 20

Saturday 18 September 2010 1:11

I guess you shouldn't go under a ladder lol

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML

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Today, I had to tell my boyfriend to stop inviting his mother on our dates. FML

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Today, I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying. Suddenly, I had to poop worse than I ever had to in my entire life. The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking my tires while I let out the entire contents of my bowels onto the road. FML

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Today, I arrived at the salon to get my hair done for prom. The lady at the front desk insisted I didn't have an appointment. After looking back on my recent calls, it turned out I called the wrong number and whatever asshole was on the other line played along. FML

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Today, I’m pet-sitting for my parents while they’re on vacation. So far, one cat has projectile vomited all over the living room, and another has pooped in their bed. Twice. My parents were not concerned when I called, and said this is normal behavior. FML

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Today, some of my buddies were playing truth or dare. As I got to the group, one guy was dared to ding dong ditch. He did so, and the owner of the house let his big ol' dog out to chase us. It only ran after me the whole time. FML

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