Miscellaneous Asshats

Asshats

anon - - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking in the park when I heard some boys shouting behind me. As I turned around they poured a bucket of red liquid over my head. They thought I was someone they knew. I wasn't. And I was wearing a $200 white dress. Red dye doesn't come out of white dresses. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Stained

One pissed girlie - 19/01/2025 22:00 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I went to a party wearing a cute new pale blue dress. As I was walking through the crowd, I felt something cold and wet on my back. Someone had spilled a drink on me, but instead of saying anything, whoever did it pretended nothing happened. I spent the rest of the night with a giant dark blue wet stain on my back. FML

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Iwtumn - 17/03/2015 16:52 - Austria

Today, I came home from a crazy costume party and took a hot shower. When I opened my eyes and saw the water running from my head was bloody, I freaked out and called my friend for help. She had to remind me that for the party, I'd coloured my hair red with washable hair dye. FML

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Kinda brought it onto yourself

Anonymous - 19/10/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, despite my warnings, my only son married a girl I hate. To protest their marriage, I wore a white dress to the wedding. Her maid of honor "tripped" and spilled red wine all over me. FML

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Mary - 13/01/2013 15:49 - Czech Republic

Today, I decided to go to a UV-light party dressed all in white. Before leaving, my little brother dumped a glass of tomato juice over my head saying, "Now you look just like a used tampon!" FML

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- 26/12/2018 06:00 - Australia

Today, as I walked out of a club, I slipped in my new shoes and spilled my chicken, chips and gravy on my brand new white dress. Not only did people see me do this, but my dress is ruined. FML

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Simply red

Anonymous - 07/03/2023 22:00 - United Kingdom - Bradford

Today, I tried to dye my hair blonde using a DIY kit I found online. As I was washing out the dye, I realized my hair had turned bright orange. I had to wear a hat all day to avoid being seen in public with a Johnny Rotten fright-wig. FML

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Hairstyle lifehack

Anonymous - 07/07/2023 12:00 - United States - Albany

Today, I tried dyeing my hair at home to save some money. I carefully followed the instructions but when I rinsed it off, my hair turned a shocking shade of shiity neon green. Not wanting to leave the house looking like a radioactive toad, I wore a hat and hoped nobody would notice. FML

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Strange stranger

MandyPanda - - United States

Today, I went to a theme party where everyone wore white shirts and brought markers to draw on them. I didn't know many people there but I still went around drawing on people's shirts. After a few hours, someone finally drew on my shirt. They wrote "I'm scary." FML

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Toasted

Anonymous - 29/06/2021 16:00 - United States - Rockaway Park

Today, I gave a toast at my friend's wedding. When I said, "Everybody raise your glasses," an industrial fan went off and blew my dress over my head. Now, people won't stop talking about how my "blue granny panties" didn't match my dress. FML

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weddingcrashed - 19/09/2009 21:04 - United States

Today, it is my wedding day. I couldn't find my very expensive wedding dress anywhere. After almost 2 hours of panic and chaos, I found it in my pool, covered in red paint, with a note on one of my lounge chairs reading, "Today is MY wedding day, bitch." FML

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nato2101 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 16:05

Sue for damages, if the blokes had any decency they would have offer to pay for a new one anyway.

TWlCH 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 16:12

On a side note who walkes around with a thing of red liquid just incase you see someone you know?

wowfmlife 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 18:42

Wow, it was obviously a thing of red gatorade, people. They were probably playing basketball or something and brought it with them. Why were you wearing an espnsive white dress to the park? And those kids aren't too bright but this isn't and grounds to sue.

officialk 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 18:50

some people are so DUMB! i would be sooooo mad

percypigs 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 18:53

That really sucks. I'd freak out if someone threw liquid over me, because that's what they do if they're planning to set you on fire apparently :/

suckstobeyou3 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 19:02

Now you have a pretty red dress.

bellstrange 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 19:02

have you ever heard of bleach?

f_this_noise 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 19:08

what is wrong with wearing white? you people are ridic. White is a classy color on all skin tones and anyone with a rudimentary sense of responsibility and cleanliness can keep it pristine. So stfu about her wearing a white dress. Girls look hot in dresses, and they look especially hot in nice dresses. It is not her fault for taking care in her appearance, and it is not her fault she happened to be enjoying a nice day around some random guys who suck at pranks. I hope you beat their asses and made them pay for the damage. Take their money and go buy an even nicer dress!