Love Intimacy As good a time as any

As good a time as any

stephanie - 28/09/2018 03:00

Today, my husband tried to use his "grief" over his grandmother's death to manipulate me into giving him a blowjob. In the toilets. During the funeral. With his family only a few yards down the hall crying their eyes out. What an asshole I married. An absolute asshole. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

What is wrong with these dudes?

Anonymous - 01/08/2019 00:01

Today, my boyfriend tried to use his “grief” at the death of a coworker to get butt sex, even though I know for a fact he didn’t like the guy that much, and just last week wished for the guy to get hit by a bus. Pretty despicable way to try get back door access if you ask me. FML

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Anonymous - 23/03/2013 17:30 - Germany - K?ln

Today, my husband showed up late to my mother's funeral. He swaggered in, happily finishing off a half-eaten taco. His excuse for why he was so cheerful: "She was an in-law, honey." Good to know I married a piece of shit in disguise. FML

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Nice try, loverboy

Gina - 08/04/2022 22:00

Today, my date cried because his mom recently died. Of course, I was sympathetic because I'm a nice person, but he tried to leverage my sympathy into a blowjob in the restaurant toilet. Since we "obviously weren't going to work as a real couple", it was apparently "the least I could do to make him feel better." Creep. FML

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Anonymous - 19/04/2013 18:28 - United States

Today, my husband tried to haggle a blowjob out of me in exchange for taking his first shower in nearly two weeks. FML

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To each their own

Anonymous - 13/12/2024 07:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my husband was eating me out when he suddenly lifted up my hips and started licking my asshole. I screamed for him to stop, since it was disgusting. I don't think I can ever have sex again. I can't believe I married someone who would do that. FML

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Karma?

Anonymous - 07/01/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my ass of a husband to be stood me up at the altar. He embarrassed me in front of everyone. It was humiliating. All because apparently he’s now not OK with the mistake I made. Yes, I slept with your father, but don’t say you forgive me then leave me crying in front of everyone. FML

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Read the room

pissed girlfriend - 25/02/2013 03:08 - United States - Celina

Today, at my grandpa's funeral, my boyfriend texted me while sitting right beside me, asking if we could have sex when the "family get together" was finally over. FML

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good job bf - 11/01/2013 04:06 - United States - Southampton

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me at my grandma's funeral. FML

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Not now, Dave

shanti -

Today, my husband cracked a "Rectum? Damn near killed him" joke at my grandfather's funeral. He had genuinely spoken without thinking, but his quick gasp and "Oh shit" sounded quite sarcastic. We were both kicked out. My family thinks I put him up to the whole thing. FML

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Anonymous - 11/01/2015 05:56 - United States - Silverdale

Today, I had to negotiate with my husband so he would bring me toilet paper while I was on the john. His terms? A blowjob. FML

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acmariner99 25

Friday 28 September 2018 3:15

Well you could always blow some divorce papers his way.

coolmike699 26

Friday 28 September 2018 3:20

You can't ask for a funeral blumpkin, that's grounds for divorce.

ARISKomuniszt 24

Monday 1 October 2018 23:29

Manipulation at the expense of others for personal gain? Psychopathy alert...

Jerry Leberer 12

Monday 15 October 2018 7:22

really? calling your husband names on a public forum? that's mature and I hope he sees this

Reckless87 7

Saturday 27 October 2018 4:39

You didn't say you didn't do it? 😂

clayscot 1

Thursday 13 June 2019 1:40

Sex is super comforting and if you see it as a way of connecting with your husband and comforting him you would understand. place not so comfortable, but funerals mess people up and they dont think about practicality.