Embarrassing, Cars, Awkward Transportation Another fine mess

Another fine mess

MikeMoosey - 30/12/2008 18:00 - United States

Today, while pumping gas, I stopped to think about what a failure my life is, and how badly I've treated people in my past. While deep in thought, I accidentally pulled the gas pump out too far and covered myself with gasoline. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Petrol head

Anonymous - 06/04/2023 06:00 - Australia

Today, while on a road trip with my friends, we stopped at a gas station to fill up. While I was pumping gas, a gust of wind blew my hat off and it landed in a puddle of gasoline. When I picked it up, my hands were covered in gasoline, so I smelled like a gas station for the rest of the trip. FML

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AbsentMindedGal - 21/12/2013 09:07 - United States

Today, I stopped at the gas station to fill up my tank and get some snacks. I paid the cashier, then got back into my car, totally forgetting to pump the $50 worth of fuel I'd just prepaid for. Too bad I didn't realize until my car came to a sputtering stop about a mile down the road. FML

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Boltz719 - 23/08/2009 05:10 - United States

Today, I was at my grandfather's house and my car was low on gas. He said I could put some of his gas in my car. He accidentally gave me the wrong tank to pump it out of, and I put fuel in my car that he uses for his small plane. It never ran better until the engine exploded. FML

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Anonymous - 15/03/2010 04:34 - United States

Today, I was at the gas station pumping gas when the lady in front of me had a little boy who asked if he could pump the gas. She said yes and then quickly answered her phone, as it was ringing. She wasn't watching him and he pulled out the pump to early, spraying gas all over me, including my face. FML

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Katelyn - 20/04/2012 17:58 - United States - Folsom

Today, I was pumping gas, when my daughter called me. After I hung up, I put my phone on the car roof while I grabbed my bag. I completely forgot about it and only realized when it shot off the roof as I braked at a traffic light. FML

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GodMemory_AbsentMind - 21/03/2017 18:00

Today, when paying for gas, I realized I'd forgotten my wallet back home. After a moment of panic, I managed to remember my card number. I paid, blowing the cute cashier's mind, and drove away, before my car started sputtering and slowed to a crawl. I'd used the wrong fuel. FML

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You dipstick!

mah - 16/01/2010 02:25 - United States

Today, while getting gas, a hottie pulled-up to the pump next to me. I finished filling my tank and started to drive away. As I was checking her out and paying no attention to my driving, I ended up taking the front bumper off her car with my truck. FML

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Dr_Gip - 18/10/2012 04:50 - United States

Today, I was so engrossed in a phone call that I drove off without pumping gas after I'd prepaid $50. FML

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Testing, testing

BubbaYoshi117 - 07/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Kirkland

Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML

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ChevRooon - 27/01/2012 04:46 - United States

Today, I went to the gas station, paid the clerk, and drove off without pumping any gas. FML

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csigabajnok 0

Thursday 5 February 2009 6:31

Pulling out too early can stain you badly :)

Lyrad 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 19:15

Hope you're not a smoker..

Harpy20 24

Thursday 30 June 2011 6:40

take a hint dude.

Futacy 29

Tuesday 9 August 2011 21:50

That's how karma works. I hope you don't smoke.

mtravis32 0

Sunday 4 September 2011 0:33

Good thing no one had a lighter

that_nerdy_sock 3

Saturday 1 October 2011 7:23

Congradulations. You are now flammable.

brendonuriepatd 8

Monday 10 October 2011 20:05

Lmfao gonna sound like a creeper saying this but panic at the disco is my favorite band too!

mrlopez 13

Tuesday 25 October 2011 6:25

Spell "congradulations" as congratulations. It'll make your level of grammar match that of an undergrad.

brendonuriepatd 8

Monday 10 October 2011 20:03

Karmas a bitch

rubyliu8420 7

Wednesday 22 February 2012 19:56

Karma?.!

WellApparently 2

Friday 24 February 2012 21:22

I think that means your gonna burn in hell.. let us pray..

DJ_G11_SMITH 8

Monday 27 February 2012 11:37

Better hold off on smoking for a couple days

katiedoll6 7

Monday 12 March 2012 17:36

I hope you didn't light a match buddy cos u woulda been toast literally

zebruhcakez 0

Saturday 31 March 2012 21:51

karma is a bitch

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I jokingly asked my husband at what age does he think we’ll stop having sex. His instant response was, “Dunno, at what age do you want to be divorced so I can remarry a woman half your age who still rides cowgirl?” FML

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Today, when I walked into work all of my co-workers were giggling and asking "How was YOUR night last night?". Last night I had sex for the first time with someone I'm seeing secretly (with good reason). That person is my boss. He told everyone. FML

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Today, as I was walking home, three burly men suddenly began to approach me. Thinking they were going to mug me, I reached for my pocketknife and said, "Stay away, I have a knife." Turns out they just wanted directions to an ice cream shop for their daughters, who were now bawling their eyes out. FML

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Today, I learned my neighbor can access my wireless printer from his house after it started printing off pictures of what I'm assuming is his penis. FML

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Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML

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Today, I was trying to impress a girl I like by showing off my guitar skills at a party. I'd hyped it up all night. When I finally started playing, I’d forgotten most of the chords and lyrics to the song, and ended up just strumming "Wonderwall" while humming off-key. She left halfway through the "performance." FML

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