Annoying, Relatable Intimacy Alpha male behavior

Alpha male behavior

Hotdamnthisismyjam - 16/06/2009 00:32 - Canada

Today, I went to the bar with some friends. When we walked in, we picked a table at random in the same area as a bunch of older men. The oldest, fattest, ugliest man at the table looked me over then stared at my chest. He then started to motorboat the air in the direction of my boobs. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Anonymous - 05/06/2009 20:54 - Denmark

Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and sits down next to me. He turns and I expect that he'll hit on me. He then buttons down his shirt, presses his man boobs together and say to his friends “Look, I’ve got bigger tits than than the girl next to me!" His friends agreed. FML

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grenade - 17/07/2011 06:24 - United States

Today, I was at a club with my friends, when a group of guys approached us. It got quiet for a second, and I heard one of them say, "It's okay, I've got the fat one this time," then walk over and start talking to me. FML

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Fishing

notgoth - 27/07/2014 22:17 - Netherlands - Rijen

Today, I went to a bar with my best friend, and some guys came up to us and started flirting with her and offering her a drink. I felt a bit left out and started joking that "I'm thirsty too". One guy looked at me, cringed and said, "No, I don't buy drinks for weird girls." FML

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Anonymous - 19/04/2016 15:59 - United States - De Soto

Today, I was at a party. A guy kept looking at me, so I tried to strike up a conversation with him. I realized he was drunk when he slurred, "Ya know, you're the only girl I've met that's fat AND flat chested!" There goes my self-esteem. FML

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Hey good lookin'

Sovekipisse - 15/06/2013 22:24 - France - Arthon-en-retz

Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML

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Embarassed - 30/08/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my father why most of the bar was giving him dirty looks at a concert. His air guitar motions made it look like he was jacking off under the table. FML

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Night on the tiles

obese_chicken - 06/11/2009 06:59 - Australia

Today, I went out to celebrate my birthday with a big group of friends. After waiting in line to get into a club, the bouncer looked me up and down and said, "No fat chicks." My friends went into the club without me and left me to take a $100 taxi home alone. FML

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Cooper491 - 15/09/2011 21:22 - Australia

Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young lad at a table near to us. I thought it'd be funny to jeer and flick peanuts at him. I went to the restroom, only to come back to my friend face-down on the floor. Turns out the guy fucked him up instead, and now he won't talk to me. FML

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snitchovich - 27/05/2009 16:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I was sitting in a bar next to this gorgeous guy who kept eyeing me up and after about 30 minutes he finally leaned in to whisper something in my ear. What he said? "If I were you, I would get a push-up bra." FML

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Scarred - 04/09/2009 05:15 - United States

Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML

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gingermonster16 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 9:27

Don't FML! That's a compliment. It means you have good boobs. You should have flipped him off though. For those confused: Moaterboating is when you get all up into someones cleavage (in this case) and shake your head left and right while making your lips flap together by breathing air out. HAHAHAHAHAHA! I just laughed at myself writing that description. It sounds soooo ******* dumb when expained, but it is just ******* dumb anyways.

Jonesy_fml 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 9:19

Beggars can't be choosers! =P

the_boss_fml 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 9:16

rofl haha. ydi for being boring and trashy. first!

heather_xxo 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 9:16

what does motorboat mean haha

IAmBridgette 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 6:12

Never seen Wedding Crashers? Haha, basically, it means he wanted to bury his face in her chest, shake his head left and right while making a "motorboat" sound.

streetsman 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 3:38

how do you not know?

Rainhawk94 27

Monday 30 December 2013 15:42

Hey here's a crazy thought, not everyone on fml has English as their first language

Jonesy_fml 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 9:19

Beggars can't be choosers! =P

LOLIMH 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 9:20

the_boss_fml 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 9:20

shot sorry I just realized I posted my comment in the wrong one. haha fail

Koalafrau_fml 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 9:21

What does motorboating the air mean??? You mean, like Barney in HIMYM?

_apecakez 0

Tuesday 16 June 2009 9:22

I'd probz air-motorboat you too. :]

24788 6

Tuesday 16 June 2009 9:24

#2 and #6 - motorboating refers to someone rubbing their face in someones ****. He wanted to motorboat her **** and showed a little demonstration for her.