Love Sleep Action - Reaction - FML

Action - Reaction

CaptBlood - 21/05/2021 00:01

Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

RomanceFail - 02/04/2015 12:51 - United States - Crestwood

Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML

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Anonymous - 20/10/2015 09:44 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML

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My love language is…

Time for a divorce, I think - 29/03/2025 21:00 - United States - Edison

Today, I asked my wife for a kiss. She snarled, "I'm your WIFE, just fucking kiss me! You don't have to ask!" Later, I went in for a kiss and she slapped me, then yelled that it was my fault for "getting in her face." FML

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Love hurts

wray16 - 26/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML

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randomguy - 09/07/2012 15:09 - United States - Saylorsburg

Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML

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Heavy sleeper

good_aim - 27/07/2013 08:03 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I returned from a long business trip a day early to surprise my wife. She was sleeping, so I climbed into bed and started spooning her. Thinking I was an intruder, she simultaneously kicked me in the groin, elbowed me in the ribs, and smacked the back of her head into my jaw. FML

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Anonymous - 27/08/2014 23:04 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML

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Wakey Wakey!

Anonymous - 15/10/2019 04:00

Today, my girlfriend woke me up by punching me in the balls. It’s OK, I didn’t want kids anyway. FML

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Glad to help out

psychworker - 15/12/2009 18:04 - United States

Today, while at work, I was asked if I wanted to leave early. I said no and let my coworker go instead. Two hours later, I was punched in the face by one of my patients, with absolutely no warning or provocation. FML

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Rude awakening

Anonymous - 22/07/2025 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife woke me up by punching me in the balls. Apparently, while I was napping on the sofa, she came in and decided to lie with her head in my lap. While she was scrolling TikTok I sleep-farted on her head, so she punched me. I was asleep, so I feel like the victim here, I call bullshit! FML

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Yemi Adeshokan 4

Friday 21 May 2021 1:01

Don't listen to the movies. NEVER INTERRUPT A PERSON'S SLEEP!

Yemi Adeshokan 4

Friday 21 May 2021 1:01

Don't listen to the movies. NEVER INTERRUPT A PERSON'S SLEEP!

cuz803 44

Friday 21 May 2021 1:12

Was there some previous bad blood that we don't know about?! Cause damn! If you did nothing wrong prior give her a tastse of her own medicine (no I don't mean punch her back...). If she ever wants to kiss you or wants pleasure tell her she can't get any until she receives spankings for being naughty and violent.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, after work, I was saying goodbye to my last remaining friend I worked with because she was going to be leaving for college. My manager saw me talking and made me clock back in and work, because, "If you have time to talk, you have time to work." FML

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Today, I got a birthday present from my boyfriend's mom. It was ProActiv acne solution. He tried to make me feel better by explaining it's because she wants to be able to include me in family pictures. FML

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Today, my boyfriend of 3 years felt comfortable enough with me to disclose that he had previously spent 4 years in a mental institute because he tried to kill his mother. He also told me we will be together forever. I'm scared. FML

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Today, my mother walked in on me rubbing $400 in $20 bills all over myself. FML

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Today, I learned the hard way not to keep my own cash in my pocket while working as a cashier, when I was forced to give $30 to a scamming customer. FML

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Today, due to religious restrictions, I'm not allowed to have medicine for my cold. The only thing my family will let me have is milk tea. I'm lactose intolerant. FML

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