Intimacy A for effort

A for effort

NotsexyEnough - 23/11/2009 03:06 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to be sexy and take off my clothes with his teeth. He ended up biting my leg. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

You want a piece of me?

littlepeepboo - 30/01/2018 01:30

Today my boyfriend tried to be sexy and rip off my underwear. Instead, he bit a chunk out of my hip. FML

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Spontaneous

Anonymous - 01/03/2011 17:32 - United States

Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be spontaneous and do something sexy. I started taking his underwear off with my teeth. My teeth dragged over his shaft, and my braces cut up his foreskin in the process. Now he's not talking to me. FML

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My chocolate

oops - 31/12/2019 05:00

Today, I was being playful with my boyfriend and put a chocolate between my legs. He bit the chocolate. My lips too... FML

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Like in the movies

alltern8ive - - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML

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Alexa, play "Cannonball" by The Breeders

Anonymous - 18/05/2020 17:00

Today, I was getting frisky with my husband under the covers in bed. My son decided to run into our room and cannonball on top of my husband. This startled him, which caused him to bite me. FML

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maddie - 27/12/2011 05:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML

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Fight Club for Dummies

Jeff - 23/05/2019 22:21

Today, my boyfriend and I were play fighting. He said, "I should stop trying to hurt you," before punching me in the face. I lost a tooth. He found it hilarious. FML

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He's got the moves

beccav23 - 25/10/2011 16:08 - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to viciously rip off my thong. My ass crack is numb. FML

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Sensitive snowflake

onepussytwopussy - 07/03/2014 19:47 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML

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Vicky - 26/12/2009 20:47 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend went to kiss me as we were walking home. It was very icy and he slipped. His teeth went through my lip. FML

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U_idiot 1

Monday 23 November 2009 9:13

FYL because your boyfriend accidentally bit your leg? I wouldn't want to be around when some terrible/FML worthy actually happens to you.

DameGreyWulf 0

Monday 23 November 2009 8:54

Ah well? A little nibble doesn't hurt so bad. At least he tried.

melissaxd 0

Thursday 31 December 2009 5:18

God, your poor boyfriend. You can't even handle being bitten -_-

RiceballMD 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 20:57

oh hush biting is ONE of the best pain stimulators! viva la biting!

fezalex 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 16:08

how hard?!?

Cris_xP 0

Monday 12 April 2010 9:30

how is this an FML? I wonder wat u'll do wen something FML worthy does happen 2u...x)

XDino_MarieX 0

Friday 30 July 2010 18:03

dude that's no FML, that's an OH HOT DAYUUUM!;D

hannahp94 0

Wednesday 22 September 2010 3:14

butting is sexy I don't understand how this is an FML!

LiznessMonster 9

Tuesday 19 October 2010 21:10

bahahahaha!

missmysterylove 3

Monday 25 October 2010 11:40

... so what? he bit your leg by accident? that is not a fml

rizzosierra 0

Tuesday 5 April 2011 1:54

ay that's still sexy

MeBeYourFriend 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 9:39

who gives a **** if he bit your leg. Its probably not bleeding so stop cryin you pansy.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was at a professional tennis match. The ball was hit extremely hard, resulting in it going into the crowd. And when I say crowd, I mean my face. FML

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Today, I learned that if you're going to light a bottle rocket and throw it out the window of a car, you should roll the window down before you light the bottle rocket. FML

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Today, my boyfriend came home from a two week vacation and told me I needed to move out. FML

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Today, on a plane, a little kid was kicking the back of my son's chair. When the kid's mom went to the toilet, my son told this little kid, "If you kick my chair one more time, I’m going to kill your mom and you’ll never see her again." He stopped kicking but damn, what kind of son did I raise? FML

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Today, I found out that most of the people I work with secretly refer to me as the "designated bottom" because they assumed from my slight stature and soft spoken personality that I was a submissive homosexual. My wife thinks it’s hilarious and keeps grabbing my ass to make me jump in shock. FML

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Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML

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