Your everyday life stories

sammysucks - 16/04/2016 01:30 - United States - Redding

Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating on him. He read me back a text off my phone "Hey sweetheart I love and miss you". He didn't believe me that my dad got a new phone today so my boyfriend called the #. He then had a very awkward talk with my dad. My dad then texted me "What a Looney."

Anonymous - 16/04/2016 01:22 - Canada - Stittsville

Today, I finally spoke up during class. My teacher has a habit of calling on students at random, so I made sure I knew the topic. Turns out my answer, which was definitely right, was wrong to him. Guess who won't be speaking up for the rest of the semester. FML

Brandorkian - 16/04/2016 01:18

Today, I finished a project I've been working on for nearly a year. I was so happy I started to dance knocking into my computer desk causing my monitor to fall off and smash my computer. My external harddrive was also broken in the process. FML

GhostFox - 16/04/2016 01:16 - United States - Lake City

Today, while eating my jaw snapped shut on my finger. I had to physically pry my own jaw open around the finger I nearly bit off. FML

clumsypencil - 16/04/2016 00:44 - United States - Orlando

Today, I was taking a test in class. Being a very clumsy person, I kept dropping my pencil multiple times. My teacher thought I was using some type of dude to cheat, so I got a 0% on the test. FML

doglover - 16/04/2016 00:24 - United States - Sterling

Today my dog came and gave me kisses on the mouth. I noticed she had chocolate on her mouth. I smelled the "chocolate" and realized it was from the poopie diaper I had just thrown in the bathroom trash! FML

Tantien - 15/04/2016 23:14 - Australia - Bulimba

Today, I went out for dinner and was sitting and felt something move in my shoe. I ignored it then felt something again so I took off my shoe and a bloody cockroach came out and walked along the restaurant's floor. I guess it's found a new home. FML

coolnopedude - 15/04/2016 23:08 - United States - Tucker

Today, my boyfriend tried to sell my cat so he could buy concert tickets. FML

DabForMe - 15/04/2016 23:07 - United States - Matawan

Today, after a long day of work, I am exhausted and am looking forward to see my wife. When I walk in, I find her on the couch with another man. And a girl. She was having sex with my cousins. FML

fyoubrother - 15/04/2016 22:59 - United States - Tucker

Today, I found out my girlfriend was cheating on me. Guess who I found her in bed with? My brother. FML

Anon - 15/04/2016 22:56 - United States - Arverne

Today, I decided to take a dump in the public bathroom. When I go to wipe, there is no paper. 20 sec later someone walks in, I ask for some paper and the person runs out yelling for security. I was in the woman's bathroom. FML

Anonymous - 15/04/2016 22:42 - United States

Today, I was pulled over while driving and chewed out for the My Little Pony sticker on the back of my car. They accused me of being a "brony" and a pedophile. It was actually my five year old daughter's doing, and when I told them this, they wouldn't listen. FML

Anonymous - 15/04/2016 22:29 - United States - Fremont

Today, my daughter called 911 because I beat her. At Monopoly. FML

DsWolfie - 15/04/2016 22:21 - United States

Today, I got evicted from my mother's house despite never failing to pay rent every week. The reasoning? She left the house for an hour and came back to find her room door broken down. I fell asleep literally three hours before she accused/evicted me. She usually leaves the front door unlocked. FML.

Anonymous - 15/04/2016 22:07 - United States - Massapequa

Today, I was taking my road test and I farted. The problem? It smelled so bad, the teacher told me to pull over because he thought there was a gas leak. FML

standing247 - 15/04/2016 22:02 - United States - Slidell

Today, I mistakenly found out that my manager is secretly trying to get me transferred to another store. Despite me working long hours, doing what's asked of me, and trying my very best. And to add to the fact all the other managers know but me. FML

Sarcasmo - 15/04/2016 21:46 - United States - Madison

Today, I was doing my final tests on a big spreadsheet I've spent about 4 days updating for my boss. I noticed something weird so I called her over. Turns out one of her important original formulas was wrong, and she knew about it but forgot to fix it. Now I have to do everything over again. FML.

frustratedgf - 15/04/2016 21:37 - United States - Chatsworth

Today, after a year of living together, I had to beg my boyfriend to help with the dishes. Apparently his idea of doing dishes is moving the dirty plates from the counter into the sink and leaving them rotting there for a week. FML.

emlizcat - 15/04/2016 21:33 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I found out that my husband is cheating on me, with our marriage counselor. FML

whatisthis - 15/04/2016 21:16 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my computer (without any warning whatsoever) went into a 4-day update that I declined last month. Guess who won't be able to do homework for the next 4 days. FML

bethanyelise - 15/04/2016 21:12 - United Kingdom - Hereford

Today, due to a personality disorder which, amongst other things, makes my emotions more powerful than an average persons; I very nearly broke down in tears when denied a pink plush pig toy and had to vacate a store before I made a scene. I'm 20 years old and had my boyfriend in tow. FML

anonymous - 15/04/2016 21:06 - United States - Salem

Today, I got sent a bunch of nude snapchats of my boyfriend that I've been dating for a year now. Surprisingly they weren't meant for me, I actually received screenshots from a gay boy who's been receiving them from my boyfriend for quite a while now. Also videos of himself whacking off. FML.

annoyedchild - 15/04/2016 20:59 - United States - Bronx

Today, after about an hour and a half at the mall with my family, I finally opened my mouth for the first time to ask what store we were going to goto next. My answer was - " I'm so tired of your fucking voice, your giving me a headache. Shut up already." Thanks, Mom. FML

Hell's-Just-An-Excuse - 15/04/2016 20:57 - United States - Kevin

Today, I told my family I'm moving out. I've just turned 18 and my stepmom wanted to know the "rush". Apparently being verbally abused, insulted, and treated like sh*t for the past nine years are just "excuses". FML

DirtyJenkins - 15/04/2016 20:44 - United States - Houston

Today, as I was briskly walking to the bathroom after feeling some Chinese food I had eaten for lunch my boss stopped me. He told me one of our coworkers was reported for "sounding like a masturbating baboon" on a business call. I laughed so hard that I no longer needed to use the restroom. FML

flutenin - 15/04/2016 20:35 - United States

Today,while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML

vbguy16 - 15/04/2016 20:35 - United States - Virginia Beach

Today, I was using the urinal at a concert and some guy walks up next to the urinal next to me, looks directly down for about 15 seconds and says "nice watch, what brand is is?" my watch was on the hand that was holding my dick. FML

efarley - 15/04/2016 20:26 - United States

Today, after spending 4 months looking for work exhausting my savings, maxing my credit cards and owing the IRS $30,000 I finally started work. Excited thinking I was going to pay off my debts I got a call saying they're selling the house I rent and I have till the end of the month to be out... FML

Bonerific - 15/04/2016 20:17 - United States - North Tonawanda

Today, it is my 2 year anniversary with my fiancé. It was a big day for us so I spent all of my time preparing an amazing night as well as spending over $600. Just as we were getting ready to leave she broke up with me claiming "our sex life is lousy!" And also "I fucked your dad!" FML

unlucky gal - 15/04/2016 20:07 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I was told wearing opal if it isn't your birthstone is unlucky. I have an opal ring on. Not being superstitious I ignored it, until I lost my headphones, came home to see my puppy pooped all over the room she's in, and I fell into it face first. I guess I should have listened. FML

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, while waiting for my train, I was listening to a voicemail message on my phone. Out of nowhere, a stranger came up to me from behind and screamed "DELETE!" into my ear. His voice command deleted my message. FML

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Today, my little cousin was helping me wash my car. After scrubbing all the dirt, I gave him the hose and said, "Okay, now rinse off this disgusting thing." He turned the hose on me. FML

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Today, my mother knocked on the door of my room at 7am. I am currently over 300 miles from home, on a vacation to get away from my overbearing family. I told none of them where I was going. FML

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Today, I found out I'm allergic to condoms. Which would be great if my girlfriend wasn't allergic to birth control. FML

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Today, my city got almost a foot of snow. When I went out to my car, it was covered in snow with a layer of ice underneath. I went to open the trunk to get the window scraper, when the snow that had collected on the top of my back window slid into my trunk. My laptop was the recipient of most of the snow. FML

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Today, I was pulling out of my driveway and was watching out for the flowers I'd just planted. I moved my head to look out of my window to avoid them, not realizing my window was up. I then hit my head, broke my nose and drove all over the flowers. FML

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