Swimming pool

OP here. I didn’t actually install a pool. I was running a bath and my baby started screaming, so I went to soothe him and forgot about the bath. I need to replace the floors all through my house!

Big lad

By Stronk - 17/06/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I severely underestimated how strong I am when I attempted to dunk a basketball into a miniature basketball hoop at a swimming pool. I made it, but in doing so I made it fall over, despite the cinder blocks placed on the base specifically to prevent that from happening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 463

Flop

By Flop era - 04/10/2024 00:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I thought I'd impress my friends with a backflip into the pool. I ended up smacking my back on the edge of the diving board and belly-flopping into the water. Now I have a bruise and a story that everyone is intent on retelling. I'm just glad no one was filming me. I hope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 515

The customer is mainly an ass

By DeniseT26 - 09/04/2022 02:00

Today, at the hotel I work, I was at the pool folding towels. A girl comes in wearing a thong bikini bottom. Our rules prohibit thong swimsuits. When I pointed it out at her, she called me a “jealous fat bitch.” Turns out she left a one star review on Google, saying I was “rude” to her. I got written up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 505

You deserved it 244

In my day…

By thanks dad - 01/08/2020 02:02

Today, we were slowly introducing my daughter to the pool to help her get over her terrible fear of water. My father-in-law scoffed, called us pussies, and tossed my daughter straight into the water. When I threw him out, he insisted he was just trying to teach her to swim "the right way." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 254

You deserved it 292

Spread

By Anonymous - 02/07/2015 22:31 - United States

Today, while swimming in my neighborhood pool, I noticed what looked like several cigarettes resting at the bottom and decided to investigate. Turns out it was actually just a used, bloody tampon that had spent enough time underwater to be broken into multiple pieces, and spread across the pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 789

You deserved it 2 240

Bumpy ride

By Anonymous - 16/07/2021 04:01

Today, I have a skin disease that causes my arms and legs to have small, but noticeable, red bumps on them. Trying to stay confident, I put on a swimsuit and went to the pool, only to be bumped into by a cute guy, who then asked why my arms were so "bumpy and disgusting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 116

So, about that second date…

By Anonymous - 14/06/2025 09:00 - United States - Sacramento

Today, on a date, I told the guy I could swim. He suggested we race. I agreed to impress him. I jumped in, immediately panicked, inhaled water, and had to be helped out by a 10-year-old with floaties. He asked if I lied about anything else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 706

Nutshot

By Anonymous - 04/05/2022 11:00 - United Kingdom - Macclesfield

Today, I took my sister and her friend to the new swimming pool in our area. They wanted to go down one of the slides, so I went up with them. At the top of the stairs, my sister's friend kicked me in the balls and then pulled my trunks off. They pushed me down the slide naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 235

You deserved it 163

You swam into that one

By ugh.. - 09/08/2009 15:27 - United States

Today, while working at my lifeguard job, I noticed a girl bouncing on one foot over to the pool. Afraid she would trip, I whistled at her and yelled, "NO running or messing around on the pool deck!" She removed her towel, revealing her legs. Or leg, she only had one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 518

You deserved it 21 446

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Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML

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Today, after going down on my boyfriend, we were cuddling and I went to kiss him. Just before I could reach his lips, he ran his finger over my mouth and whispered, "S-s-s-semen." FML

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Today, my boyfriend logged onto his old Skype account from 2012 to nostalgically look back at some old gaming chats. He started bawling when he came across his now-deceased online friend’s profile and reminisced about the good times. The whole chat consisted of the ‘N word’ sent back and forth. FML

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Today, I got fired from my job for having a resting bitch face when I get frustrated or when I'm concentrating on my work. According to them, I have to work on my "anger issues." FML

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