Stalker

I'm innocent!

By ostfae - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was told by this big guy from school that I needed to stop stalking his girlfriend, and stop following her home from school. She's my neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 226

You deserved it 2 336

Introverted clumsiness

By I'm a fucking idiot!!! And I suck at using discord. Going back to tumblr. - 09/12/2024 03:00 - Canada - Concord

Today, I hit off with a guy I met on Tumblr, and we moved to Discord to chat. We're just friends, but have things in common. Then I accidentally called him while he was driving by clicking the wrong button, because I forgot how to search things up. Now he thinks I'm a creep. Time to build my walls back up again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 178

Mortifying

By Creeper - 20/02/2024 16:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I accidentally liked my ex's new partner's photo while stalking them on social media. Now I have to decide between pretending it never happened if they happened to notice, or sending a fruit basket with a note that says, "Sorry for the accidental like. It's not you; it's muscle memory." FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 703

Pining

By akvan - 06/09/2022 03:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I'm obsessing over finding out anything about my ex. A month ago, I finally deleted his number from my phone, but if I'd known it would just make me start obsessing over him again, then I wouldn't have deleted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 242

You deserved it 1 211

WHO ARE YOU?

By Targeted - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Kirkland

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 212

You deserved it 2 903

Creeped out

By Anonymous - 07/07/2022 02:00

Today, I ran home because a guy I had never seen before got off the bus at the same time as me, and followed me almost all the way home. I was crying for my mom to call the police but my brother just snorted at me, because, “Only pretty girls have stalkers.” I wish I was an only child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 308

You deserved it 259

Oh, hai Mark!

By Erika - 05/05/2019 14:00

Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend on campus. Upset, I decided to go to McDonald's to eat my painful memories away. While in the drive-thru line, I realized my ex was right in front of me. It looked like I'd followed him all the way from campus. He thinks I'm a stalker now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 114

You deserved it 459

Up to no good, sonny Jim ?

By Anonymous - 03/08/2022 10:00

Today, I went to the dentist in the same building my wife works. I decided to leave a love note on her car to surprise her. I'm currently being held by security, waiting on the cops, on suspicion of stalking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 162

Run for cover

By scaredycat - 28/01/2024 06:00 - Germany - Frankfurt am Main

Today, the most manipulative man I know decided he's going to get me to be his next wife. I'm still in therapy after breaking free from growing up in a violent and manipulative household. He's working with me, so there's limited options of getting out of his presence. I'm scared for my sanity and my freedom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 608

You deserved it 161

Jan-Michael Vincent? Heather Locklear?

By Anonymous - 29/04/2022 22:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend has a creepy stalker blog dedicated to some minor celebrity from the '80s that I’ve never heard of. When I asked him about it, he accused me of spying on his private life, even though the blog is there on the internet for anyone to read, and stormed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 152

It wasn't me

By Anon - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Modesto

Today, I got detention at school because a girl told the principal I was stalking her on campus. I wasn't stalking her, we just have very similar schedules. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 520

You deserved it 1 774

We meet again

By thammer - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Green Bay

Today, I joined a dating site. The first guy it recommended was the stalker I met on the last dating site I used. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 297

You deserved it 4 868

How could you?

By Anonymous - 21/12/2023 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife is mad at me because she’s had to stop seeing her closest friend because of me. Why? Because her friend is stalking me, keeps asking me to divorce my wife, and has even broken in and stolen my stuff, forcing me to involve the police several times, and somehow this is all my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 102

Caught in the act

By Anonymous - 14/01/2010 05:10 - United States

Today, I was on the computer in the library on campus. I was Facebook-stalking a really cute girl that I often see on campus. As I'm looking at her profile pictures, I turn around and the girl is standing right behind me. She gave me a disgusted look and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 583

You deserved it 44 895

Stalker vibes

By Anonymous - 02/10/2020 14:02 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, I had a surprise visitor at my place. A guy I was talking to a few months back. He said he was down my way getting gas and thought he’d stop by. He lives more than 45 minutes from my place, in the opposite direction, with about 20 gas stations between us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 301

You deserved it 216

Am I the asshole?

By Anon - 22/05/2023 22:00

Today, I fucked up when I answered a phone call. I wasn't sure who the number was at first, and it turned out to be my ex girlfriend who had apparently been stalking me. She asked me how my new girlfriend was, and as I answered it in front of my girlfriend, she's now depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 680

You deserved it 243

Kinda sus

By Anonymous - 20/07/2023 07:00 - Canada - Moncton

Today, I decided to reach out to someone I'd met randomly. I found them on social media and sent them a message. After telling my SO, he pointed out that that was stalking. I'm a creep now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 875

Creepypasta

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got ice cream with a guy I'd met at a wrestling match a few days ago. When I got home, I found out that my mother had been sitting in the parking lot and watched us through the windows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 884

You deserved it 2 936

Joe's at it again

By bourneenemy - 19/01/2022 11:01 - United States - Pico Rivera

Today, same as recently, there's some guy constantly standing in front of my building waiting for me to come out, just to stare at me and then get mad when I walk to my car, to the store, to the bank, and even followed me into the lobby to see what floor I get off at, like a weirdo. What should I do? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 305

You deserved it 152

The accused

By Anonymous - 16/08/2022 18:00

Today, my neighbour asked me to stop "flaunting my nudity" where her husband can see me. By this she apparently meant my bathroom when I open the window to let the steam out, because her husband can see me shower from their son's treehouse. Somehow, I don’t think me or my window are the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 766

You deserved it 168

Creepy

By Anonymous - 20/12/2009 08:47 - Canada

Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently duplicated my keys before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering, “He looks like Jesus.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 442

You deserved it 3 674

Snoopy

By No way - 16/07/2025 00:00 - United Kingdom - Bradford

Today, I liked one of my crush’s Instagram post from 2012 while stalking his profile. Despite me realising my mistake and un-liking the post, he immediately followed me back, and sent me a DM saying, “Wow, that’s some deep digging.” I’m now referred to as his "creepy stalker archaeologist of Instagram." FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 551

Long time coming

By That was twelve years ago - 23/02/2025 03:00 - United States - Edison

Today, the girl I stalked in high school found me. I've since gotten therapy and fixed my attachment issues, but she told my fiancée the whole story anyway. Now I'm single and sleeping on my clothes in the back of a U-haul. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 287

Subway creeper

By Anonymous - 07/07/2025 18:00 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was creeping on a girl, looking at her tattoos and getting stimulated while she was sitting down in the carriage next to ours. From the looks of it, it looked like she was looking at her phone, but she was actually staring dead at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 941

It's not what you think!

By Paula - 24/08/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I was walking to work when I noticed a cute guy ahead of me. He turned into every single street that I needed to take, and I started to worry he might think I was following him. Just as I was about to overtake him and prove I wasn't a creep, he turned into the building where I work. He's the new intern. Now I have to avoid eye contact for the rest of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 254

Who'll tell him?

By Anonymous - 03/03/2023 12:00 - Japan

Today, the girl I like said she was out drinking with a friend. I'm pretty sure she has been lying about all the times she has "fallen asleep" and could not talk, and is actually seeing other people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 833

Call the cops

By sacrophage - 28/02/2010 04:30 - Canada

Today, I discovered that my abusive, obsessive, psychotic ex-boyfriend from over two years ago still has a thing for me. How did I find out? Although I've ignored him walking unnecessarily past my house for the past two months, it was hard to ignore when he fell from a tree outside my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 800

You deserved it 2 897

Oh, hi Sharon!

By graveyard-sh*t - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, my psycho ex-girlfriend showed up at my new job to, "Keep an eye on me." The same ex-girlfriend who has been stalking me since we broke up. Two years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 376

You deserved it 265

Instadrama

By etahrabayraa - 27/06/2020 08:08

Today, I was stalking a popular girl from my high school's account and my phone went bonkers. It looks like I liked and disliked the same video of hers over and over. I disabled my Instagram account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 670

You deserved it 1 654

Creepy dude

By janegeorge - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Canada - Kanata

Today, a guy called me out of the blue. Apparently, he'd copied my number from a sheet we'd filled out in church. He doesn't understand why I'm "overreacting". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 118

You deserved it 3 937

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I realized I need to lose weight when I split my pants wide open while at my job directing a funeral, bowing to the casket in front of 200 silent devout attendees, during prayers. I picked that day to wear a red thong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 623

You deserved it 627

Today, I caught my son sneaking a woman out of his room at 5 a.m. After she was gone, I started with the questions, one of which was, “Well, what’s her name?” His response was, “No idea, I only met her last week.” I’ve raised one of “those guys.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 222

Today, it's been three weeks since I’ve seen my kids. My ex just decided that I was a safety concern after we had 50/50 for almost two years. Now I just gotta wait until I can see a lawyer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 211

Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 334

You deserved it 3 859

Today, my best friend told me she no longer wants an "active friendship" with me. She says she doesn't have time to see me, since she has a boyfriend and a bunch of friends she's spent years bitching to me about. We've gone from a 14-year friendship to awkwardly nodding at each other in the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 699

You deserved it 1 364

Today, I refused to play with my brother because he always breaks my stuff. Mom brought him into my room to force us to play together. He tripped and spilled coke on my Xbox, which smoked then died. Mom just backed out of the room with him slowly, like, "I see what you mean, we'll leave you alone now." I hate him so much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 165

You deserved it 169