phalacee

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Phalacee's favorite FMLs

By Behemoth2 - 14/12/2008 05:15 - France

Today, at the Eurostar customs, an officer asked me if I had packed my luggage myself. I teasingly answered "No, I was helped by a member of Al Qaeda." which earned me a body and luggage search and a missed train. FML

agreeclassic 8 385

vote type 1 68 472

By DutchOven - 04/07/2009 21:07 - United States

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

agreeclassic 59 419

vote type 1 25 976

By Cùchulainn - 10/01/2009 03:23 - France

Today, I came home from work. I crept up to the bedroom to gently wake up my girlfriend. I touch her shoulder and slowly leant in to give her a tender kiss. She suddenly wakes up and grabs me by the throat... I keep forgetting she's in the army. FML

agreeclassic 34 092

vote type 1 9 544

By sly - 04/01/2009 03:55 - France

Today, I tried to cuddle Simon, my five year-old son. He wriggled away and said, "If you need a teddy bear, go buy one! Or get another Simon!" FML

agreeclassic 33 174

vote type 1 3 793

By sm@rtie - 03/01/2009 08:38 - France

Today, I was eating at a nice restaurant. Feeling curious, I daringly asked for the surprise "Maiden's Dream" dessert. The waiter came back with a banana between two balls of ice-cream on a plate, and no spoon. FML

agreeclassic 25 697

vote type 1 8 291