SamanthaBanfield

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Samanthabanfield's favorite FMLs

By jobless - 20/01/2009 16:52 - France

Today, I've been dating a girl for a year and she's only touched my penis twice. Once by accident. FML

agreeclassic 29 072

vote type 1 12 994

Negging

By f*ck - 02/05/2012 16:22 - United States

Today, I had a date with the girl I've been interested in for months. I'm pretty laid-back and casual with my friends, which backfired and caused the date to end with a slap, when I greeted her with a friendly "S'up, slut?" FML

agreeclassic 8 321

vote type 1 98 484

By Anonymous - 30/04/2012 21:34 - United States

Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML

agreeclassic 10 571

vote type 1 62 990

The Return of the Mullet

By faux ma - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Winter Park

Today, I told the hairdresser that my kid had cut my hair. I don't have kids. I was just really drunk. FML

agreeclassic 8 349

vote type 1 33 284

By Elise - 28/04/2012 23:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend figured out that he can bounce small things off of my boobs, and has been doing it every time I look away. FML

agreeclassic 28 563

vote type 1 4 593