kimbo1993

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Kimbo1993's favorite FMLs

Puppy training

By doggone - 05/05/2012 23:07 - United States - King Of Prussia

Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML

agreeclassic 21 009

vote type 1 34 961

By authorsubmit - 04/05/2012 12:49 - United States

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

agreeclassic 15 868

vote type 1 47 688

Riveting

By jobless - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I fell asleep during a job interview, while it was taking place over the phone. FML

agreeclassic 9 856

vote type 1 30 884

The strangeness of strangers

By zomg - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Port Saint Lucie

Today, while at work as a cashier, I tried to be sweet and ID an elderly man buying a bottle of wine. He responded by calling me a "blind-ass bitch" and calling my manager for "harassing" him. FML

agreeclassic 15 907

vote type 1 29 753

By ShadowJack - 29/04/2012 15:10 - United States

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML

agreeclassic 41 523

vote type 1 9 800