gateface970

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Oregon, USA
28 years-old
Saturday 15 March 1997
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Gateface970's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 24/08/2016 14:26

Today, I woke up to my husband's face. That'd be nice if he hadn't turned his eyelids inside out, waiting to scare me. I was scared alright. So scared that I pissed myself and broke my side table falling out of bed. FML

agreeclassic 15 300

vote type 1 1 468

Medicare for all!

By YoungSmileBones - 15/08/2016 18:29 - United States - Lake Havasu City

Today, I'm so broke that I'm thinking about using a glass of whiskey and a pair of pliers to pull out my broken wisdom teeth. FML

agreeclassic 14 071

vote type 1 1 347

Oh no…

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, I found out all the "work meetings" my husband has been going to wasn't him having an affair after all, but him attending a neo-Nazi group. FML

agreeclassic 21 635

vote type 1 1 581

By Anonymous - 09/07/2016 04:09

Today, I walked in on my son flopping around on the floor with a blanket wrapped around his legs. Apparently at age 22, he'd rather pretend to be a mermaid than go out and get a damn job. FML

agreeclassic 13 887

vote type 1 2 469

By queerdragon - 26/02/2016 04:32 - United States - Redlands

Today, a friend located my stolen dog. It was sold to a family that has an autistic child. I was told by the police that I could have my dog back, but they think I am a terrible person if I do. FML

agreeclassic 29 577

vote type 1 1 761

queerdragon app_comment_confession_title

queerdragon 20

Friday 26 February 2016 21:50

I did take my dog back. I have had Riot for three years, so he is a big part of my family. I have also started boarding him during the day or leaving him with a family member/friend. I am moving in a few weeks so hopefully, this won't be an issue that pops up again. Chip your dogs. It is a lifesaver. While I understand where the police officer was coming from (he has an autistic child) you don't sell a family member. Dogs have always been family to me. The kind of awkward part was the mother started crying, asking to buy Riot from me. She said he was so well behaved and they needed something to help their kid. She then kind of demanded I let her son come over to my house to play with Riot when he wanted to. I guess so she could tell her son that Riot was still his, but that he was just living with someone else. I told her no and said I didn't want to have contact with her again. She got mad. I don't think I left looking like a saint, but I am glad to have my dog back.