deans_fml

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Deans_fml's favorite FMLs

Amazing timing

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Antelope

Today, I was walking home, when a car heading the other way hit a traffic cone. I must have been an asshole in a previous life, because the universe decided to make sure the cone flew into the side of my head. The bystanders were shocked for all of two seconds before laughing. FML

agreeclassic 47 141

vote type 1 4 421

How in hell…?

By Anonymous - 19/06/2013 16:12 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML

agreeclassic 52 040

vote type 1 5 284

Stage 1?

By Waterfalls - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Carlsbad

Today, I stood up too quickly and got dizzy, so I sat on the edge of the bed to regain my balance. I started dozing off to sleep again, got confused, and peed down the side of my bed thinking I was on the toilet. FML

agreeclassic 39 621

vote type 1 10 867

By Alexismaria - 23/10/2014 20:05 - United States

Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML

agreeclassic 39 785

vote type 1 3 288

By Shamu - 14/02/2009 00:15 - United States

Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML

agreeclassic 54 508

vote type 1 8 821