Heather1003

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Heather1003's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 13/11/2012 23:17 - United States - Killington

Today, I found a wounded turkey in our backyard. I brought it inside, put it in a cage, and tended to its wounds. I then left. When I got back home, I smelled the wonderful aroma of my mother's cooking. She had prepared a turkey, the one I'd rescued. FML

agreeclassic 30 918

vote type 1 5 665

By Noname - 09/01/2009 11:21 - United States

Today, I woke up to find that the large container of leftover beef stroganoff that I put down the garbage disposal last night had backed up into my bathtub this morning. FML

agreeclassic 24 244

vote type 1 4 239

Multitasking

By Anonymous - 14/11/2012 21:28 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

agreeclassic 54 279

vote type 1 6 812

By hclagopus - 14/11/2012 11:39 - Norway

Today, I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement. Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars. FML

agreeclassic 22 523

vote type 1 30 887

hclagopus app_comment_confession_title

hclagopus 7

Thursday 15 November 2012 10:36

OP here. I did not try to pick her up - I am a 42 year old married father of three and even if I wanted a date I have enough knowledge of the world to know that hot twentysomething blondes prefer hot twentysomething hunks - but I did try to make her smile, and failed miserably. And my geek level is so low that I read paper papers and constantly need my twelve year old son to help with my Iphone. (Plus I`ve never seen the sequels) I realize the girl probably lacked humour more than Star Wars knowledge, but what the heck. My wife laughed her ass off when I told her, though, bless her.

By makiju - 13/11/2012 21:23 - France - M?zi?res-sur-seine

Today, I was severely chewed out by my boss because, according to him, I look down on him too often. I'm 6ft5. FML

agreeclassic 452

vote type 1 31