Allox

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St. John's, Canada
34 years-old
Saturday 19 January 1991
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Allox's favorite FMLs

By litterbox_girl - 19/08/2009 01:13 - United States

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML

agreeclassic 16 819

vote type 1 71 175

By Anonymous - 16/08/2009 23:33 - United States

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I have an extra key. I snuck into his bed with sleep with him and noticed how soft his skin was. Turns out I had been feeling up the girl he was sleeping with and he was in the bathroom. FML

agreeclassic 66 185

vote type 1 8 056

By travinator121611 - 16/08/2009 16:32 - United States

Today, I was driving on the freeway and there was a dead animal (I think a cat) in the road. The car in front of me decided to merge over. It kicked up part of the dead animal and sent it flying through my open window. I think I got hit in the face with a piece of foot. FML

agreeclassic 57 480

vote type 1 4 088

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Monday 17 August 2009 9:24

I drive a 1974 VW Super Beetle...I HAVE NO AIR CONDITIONING!!! So my windows + the window wings are open to draw air in. The SUV hit it right (obviously) cause it hit my window and came through my side wing window. So GROSS...but it didnt stink or anything.

By juliaspaperbags - 16/08/2009 14:32 - United States

Today, I was at the lake watching a romantic sunset with my boyfriend. He tenderly started touching my thigh, then started shaking my leg to the rhythm while singing the J-E-L-L-O theme song. FML

agreeclassic 50 893

vote type 1 8 110

By FML.. - 06/04/2009 19:51 - China

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

agreeclassic 707

vote type 1 493