daleisawesome

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Daleisawesome's favorite FMLs

By Anonymous - 12/03/2012 04:16 - United States

Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML

agreeclassic 37 082

vote type 1 4 689

By anonymous - 01/04/2012 18:38 - United States

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he said "I love you, baby." I told him to go deeper, but instead of doing so, he decided to completely kill the mood by stopping and saying it again in a Barry White type voice. FML

agreeclassic 27 605

vote type 1 10 390

Hott

By purple - 24/03/2012 05:30 - United States - Katy

Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML

agreeclassic 33 213

vote type 1 12 438

Repetitive

By justgreat - 24/03/2012 02:30 - United States - Opa Locka

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

agreeclassic 31 636

vote type 1 6 235

By CierraJordan - 14/03/2012 11:31 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my friend that the world did not used to be black and white. It was just the pictures that were. She still doesn't believe me. She's eighteen. FML

agreeclassic 31 190

vote type 1 2 727