Intimacy Today, I was called handsome. Too bad it was coming from a trashed...

IllJustGetYouASweaterThen - 04/08/2010 07:58 - United States

Today, I was called handsome. Too bad it was coming from a trashed homeless lady, who then went on to tell me that she likes my lips and wants to rape me. FML

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Carnival of Disasters
Dive into carnival, where hilarious costumes meet unexpected mishaps. Laughter is guaranteed, mask or no mask! …

trolls have hit the gutters - 17/02/2015 18:23 - United Kingdom - Durham

Today, a homeless guy told me I looked like shit and to have some self-respect. Right. FML

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meesmees - 23/11/2013 10:48 - United States - Severna Park

Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML

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Great timing, dude

ugly - - Australia

Today, I was telling my best friend that I was feeling unattractive, and that I never get asked out. As she was trying to make me feel better, we were interrupted by a stranger trying to hit on her. FML

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ManInPain - 12/07/2011 16:46 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street to go to the movies, when I got punched in the back of the head. When I turned around, a stranger said, "HAHA! It's punch a random person day!" When I asked him why he chose me, he replied "You're ugly." FML

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Take it where you can

charapos - 26/10/2021 11:00

Today, I got called beautiful for the first time in forever. The lady who called me beautiful was herself very pretty and VERY drunk. FML

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Anonymous - 10/07/2012 16:43 - Canada

Today, while I was walking home alone, a homeless man approached me and took me by the hand. Apparently, he's been watching me for weeks and has fallen madly in love with me. He told me not to worry, though, he's "not a rapist." FML

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Pissed to meet you

Anonymous - 09/08/2015 01:23 - United States

Today, at Walmart, a lady came up to me and informed me that I "look like the kinda skank that'd give it up on the first date". FML

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Consider the offer

Anonymous - 03/01/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I, someone who has experienced only one romantic relationship in my 35 years (which ended 8 years ago), was hit on by a homeless drug felon client at work. FML

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Cruisin' for a bruisin'

leah - 07/01/2021 14:01 - United States - San Jose

Today, I was beaten up by a complete stranger for “giving her a dirty look.” I can’t see my own face. FML

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Anonymous - 28/01/2011 11:44 - United States

Today, at work, a homeless woman called me trash, threw her coffee at me, and told me to get a job. I do have a job. It's homeless outreach. FML

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CheaRight 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 16:28

hot.

Phase 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 16:43

what part of trashed homeless lady doesn't put any of you off??

thebrand25 0

Tuesday 10 August 2010 5:33

lol that fml did like a nosedive

gummibloo 0

Thursday 12 August 2010 2:39

omg

takemytrollz 0

Friday 13 August 2010 5:46

It was probably Amy Winehouse.

ugwmii 0

Saturday 14 August 2010 8:00

gross

PineaplePerson 0

Monday 16 August 2010 11:01

Once in a lifetime oppritunity. Just saying.

Sargon_of_Akkad 0

Wednesday 18 August 2010 17:25

"You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find..." A homeless lady willing to rape you?

jxcala 10

Thursday 7 October 2010 18:32

This is absolutely hilarious.

bearsfan37 0

Wednesday 17 November 2010 16:46

Don't go to WalMart anymore

MisterMuffinz 13

Friday 18 February 2011 6:30

hobos ftw

dakins 0

Thursday 26 May 2011 0:49

lmao gee poor u.......... handsome is a compliment. I wanna rape u isn't. even ur compliments are insulting......

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I had sex with my new boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he said, "I know women who would be really self-conscious about nipples like that. I love that you accept yourself." I had no clue there was anything odd about my nipples. FML

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Today, somebody broke into my car, just to steal the obviously fake $1,000,000 bill hanging from my rear-view mirror. FML

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Today, I watched a movie with my little sister. I couldn't understand a word that was said during one scene, but I figured it was in some kind of made-up language. When I commented on it later, she called me a moron and said it was Spanish. FML

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Today, I was in a hurry to get something out of the oven, so I quickly grabbed my roommate's only oven mitt and grabbed the pan in the oven. It didn't take long to figure out there was a hole in it when my thumb hit the hot pan. FML

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Today, my nose finally unblocked after a week of having a cold. Now all I can smell is the disgusting stench of my husband's pits. We've argued three times already about his refusal to shower more than once a week. FML

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Today, my girlfriend and I broke up. The reason? She slept with four men while I was two weeks away visiting my brother. She told me it was because she missed me so much. FML

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