Love: Today, I saw Saw IV with my boyfriend. He held me close and said,...

By asdfghjkl - 18/12/2010 19:14 - United States

Today, I saw Saw IV with my boyfriend. He held me close and said, "I'll protect you." A few seconds later, he jumped up so violently, he gave me a bloody nose, and ran screaming out of the room. FML

agreeclassic 35 338

vote type 1 3 937

The rhythm of the fight
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Scream

By dating a pussy - 18/02/2014 21:15 - United States - Maryville

Today, I was watching TV, when I heard a blood-curdling scream from my boyfriend upstairs. It sounded like he was being murdered with a rusty fork, and I rushed to see what the hell was going on, hitting my shin against the stairs in the process. He'd stubbed his toe. FML

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By Username - 22/02/2010 05:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML

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Romance isn't dead

By broken - 13/09/2009 04:26 - United States

Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML

agreeclassic 44 014

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By toni405 - 21/07/2011 21:24 - United States

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

agreeclassic 46 787

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By Samantha - 30/10/2010 05:41 - United States

Today, I went to see Paranormal Activity 2 with my boyfriend. In hopes of him putting his arm around me or holding my hand, I told him that I was very scared and pretended to cry a little. He told me to be quiet because I was ruining the movie for him. Then he moved seats. FML

agreeclassic 25 219

vote type 1 42 952

By Anonymous - 29/03/2011 23:58 - Canada

Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML

agreeclassic 39 964

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By Username - 13/08/2011 11:45 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a scary movie. I was starting to get a small headache so he gently brushed my hair. During a scary part he jumped and hit me in the head as hard as he could with the brush. I'm still recovering from the migraine. FML

agreeclassic 31 674

vote type 1 5 534

By Anonymous - 12/09/2015 20:50 - United Kingdom - Brentwood

Today, my boyfriend convinced me to face my fear of horror movies by promising to hold my hand through the entire flick. He fell asleep 10 minutes into it, farting and snoring in his sleep, whilst I was paralysed by fear. FML

agreeclassic 24 021

vote type 1 3 685

That escalated quickly

By marrying this man - 10/10/2023 07:30

Today, I broke my boyfriend's nose trying to pop his blackheads. His leg jerked in shock, kicked my leg, and I fell, breaking the mirror, cutting myself, and slamming into the bathroom sink. I woke up in the hospital, with over a hundred stitches, and my poor boyfriend in jail for suspected domestic abuse. FML

agreeclassic 854

vote type 1 298

It was an accident!

By innocent - 06/01/2014 21:32 - Australia

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

agreeclassic 62 075

vote type 1 7 519

amerwin 3

Saturday 18 December 2010 23:35

Next time he's napping, put his nuts into a primed rat-trap and tell him that you want to play a game.

Koshman32 7

Saturday 18 December 2010 23:32

What a pussy

Comments

rockstar417 0

Thursday 23 June 2011 22:41

lmao

blackcatgirl46 21

Friday 1 July 2011 18:07

wuss

babyvi 6

Wednesday 27 July 2011 4:02

LOL.

muniz_humbert 0

Thursday 17 November 2011 18:13

what a Marshmallow!!!!

FusionFrenzy 10

Tuesday 24 January 2012 4:53

No offense but you need a man

Droodika 6

Thursday 8 March 2012 0:07

That's a keeper :)

vampiresam9097 5

Tuesday 17 April 2012 8:35

Oooh, the European one had my favorite violinist in it!

crewge6 4

Thursday 4 April 2013 2:47

Your bf is a bitch saw movies arent scary xD

Anumayis 34

Monday 7 October 2013 10:14

did he see a spider or something? cause I can't imagine him being so scared of... SAW...

DanielleD93 16

Tuesday 7 April 2015 19:38

This sounds so fake wow

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Today, at work, I was ringing up some tampons for a woman, and I usually try to interact with the shoppers as much as possible. I was trying to think of something witty or funny to say but drew a blank, so I decided just to say, "Have a nice night." What I actually said was, "Have a nice flow." FML

agreeclassic 11 703

vote type 1 33 724

Today, I dislocated my elbow chasing my cat around the hardwood floors of my house in knee-high socks and wiping out going around a corner. The doctors suggested that I not tell people how it happened. FML

agreeclassic 13 534

vote type 1 21 297

Today, while I was babysitting, one of the kids looked at me very seriously and asked, “Why do you have sad eyes like my dad did after he lost all his money?” I don’t even know the kid’s dad. I just wanted to make mac and cheese. FML

agreeclassic 367

vote type 1 82

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend on my boat at the lake. As we were looking at the mountains all around us, she playfully pushed me off the side into the water. As I got back on the boat, I realized that not only was my cellphone dead, but the ring had fallen into the deep water. FML

agreeclassic 80 434

vote type 1 4 300

Today, I realized that I give the computer screen a thumbs up whenever I see something cool. I work on computers in front of people all day. FML

agreeclassic 15 496

vote type 1 26 772

Today, my husband had his hands full with the shopping, so I was carrying the baby and the bag with our takeaway in it. I tripped down the steps and fell over. Did my husband ask if I or the baby were OK? Nope. But he did ask if I’d squashed his fish and chips. FML

agreeclassic 1 823

vote type 1 270