Kids: Today, I got a call from my 8 year-old son's teacher. Apparently,...

By omg - 25/03/2011 00:43 - Canada

Today, I got a call from my 8 year-old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

agreeclassic 55 643

vote type 1 8 729

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By Anonymous - 12/04/2012 04:18 - United States - Burnsville

Today, my son had to call me from his school's principal's office because he was disrupting his health class by laughing whenever the teacher said "Sex". My son is 16. FML

agreeclassic 29 384

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By It was the 11 year old - 21/07/2012 08:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

agreeclassic 29 940

vote type 1 5 040

By Laurel - 25/05/2013 04:37 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML

agreeclassic 50 930

vote type 1 9 077

What up big pimps?

By Anonymous - 05/05/2023 12:00

Today, I just got done being yelled at by my son's headteacher and a bunch of parents, all because my 6 year-old son has been arranging kiss dates between his classmates in exchange for sweets and so on. My little pimp in training. Not a proud dad moment. FML

agreeclassic 841

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By a - 21/05/2009 19:18 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

agreeclassic 96 085

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By Jay - 04/11/2017 04:00

Today, I got called into the principal's office of my son's school. Why? He'd called his teacher a "fudge packer". No more weekends with his uncle. FML

agreeclassic 3 308

vote type 1 366

By Bad Mommy - 21/06/2012 05:40 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

agreeclassic 35 344

vote type 1 9 438

By Anonymous - 17/09/2014 21:57 - United States - Dewitt

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

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By stressedmom36 - 13/08/2015 23:50 - United States - Tampa

Today, my 4-year-old son's daycare called because he kissed a few girls. They explained he can't walk up and kiss little girls. I thought the situation was under control, until I was called an hour later to remove him from the premises for kissing little boys. FML

agreeclassic 27 420

vote type 1 2 786

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By Anonymous - 13/03/2020 12:30

Today, my 10-year-old son told me that sometimes he wishes that he could be a girl, so that he could masturbate more easily in public. FML

agreeclassic 1 916

vote type 1 273

splice520 4

Friday 25 March 2011 9:08

future pimp

enonymous 8

Friday 25 March 2011 9:14

So did the teacher get a discount?

Comments

beccaruchi 0

Sunday 15 January 2012 3:46

What are little kids getting into these days

Haha_no_123 11

Thursday 26 January 2012 1:24

FYL for having to get him out of that habit. What a lady's man

lela1998 0

Wednesday 1 February 2012 3:17

Hahaha little pimp :)

iluvmusic8128 0

Sunday 19 February 2012 20:33

young prostrutite! so promising!

znc15 0

Monday 5 March 2012 1:12

Prostitution can happen at any age

murdernotseen 2

Friday 9 March 2012 7:04

No sir it's pronounced entrepreneur.

callmesillyxxx 1

Friday 30 March 2012 7:30

Hustle hustle!!!

trypt4mine 0

Saturday 31 March 2012 9:43

Not gonna lie, that's awesome hahaha

BradenLock 4

Friday 6 April 2012 9:38

Welcome to Alberta.

babe7260 30

Friday 6 April 2012 9:43

Lol boys will be boys!!! I just never knew they tried to turn into " men" at such a young age & I have 3 boys!! Lol

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Today, a customer tried to order a Zinger burger. I tried to explain that he was at McDonald's and that the Zinger is a KFC burger. He accused me of lying to him and tried to report me to my manager. FML

agreeclassic 32 996

vote type 1 2 411

Today, my father made a post on Facebook with an old baby picture, saying how proud he was that I got into college. This would have been sweet if the baby picture was actually of me. FML

agreeclassic 7 040

vote type 1 587

Today, my boyfriend and I were play-fighting. I managed to pin him down and win. He saw my grin, snorted, and bitterly said I'd only won because, "let's face it, you're a bit of a porker, eh babe?" FML

agreeclassic 39 078

vote type 1 5 884

Today, aside from clearing out my bank accounts and having an affair, the kicker was finding out my fiancé planned on taking himself and his mistress to Cancun for his birthday, while I would be attending the Marine Corps boot camp. FML

agreeclassic 1 678

vote type 1 172

Today, my roommate unexpectedly came home with a new puppy. I'm severely allergic to dogs. When I reminded her of this, she explained that the puppy was her family now and if I didn't like it I should move out because blood is thicker than water. My roommate is my sister. FML

agreeclassic 51 998

vote type 1 3 384

Today, I found out that the owner of my workplace hasn't been paying any of the bills and that all 10 people on my crew and I will be losing our jobs in a matter of days. FML

agreeclassic 1 060

vote type 1 60

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What up big pimps?

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