Intimacy: Today, I found out that because of my high blood pressure I can't...

By Anonymous - 02/04/2009 23:12 - United States

Today, I found out that because of my high blood pressure I can't have sex for one month. My wedding is next weekend and the following two weeks are my honey moon. FML

agreeclassic 267 701

vote type 1 28 643

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By Anonymous - 10/12/2013 21:06 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML

agreeclassic 57 116

vote type 1 11 035

By Anonymous - 28/01/2011 04:24 - United States

Today, I found out that I have to reschedule my upcoming honeymoon because my office will be understaffed that week, due to the boss going on vacation right after my wedding. Oh, yeah, and he's in my bridal party. FML

agreeclassic 29 028

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Scary

By Anonymous - 22/08/2012 20:08 - United States

Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML

agreeclassic 11 821

vote type 1 31 483

Brain melter

By Anonymous - 27/07/2023 03:00

Today, due to my blood pressure, I've begun getting an agonising migraine every time I get increased heart rate from arousal. We’re supposed to be trying for our first baby, but we’ve not had successful sex in weeks because I can’t last until orgasm before I feel like my head is splitting open. FML

agreeclassic 1 020

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By no luck - 30/09/2010 17:14 - United States

Today, I found out less than 3 weeks before my wedding my fiancé will lose his new, great paying job unless we cancel our nonrefundable honeymoon. FML

agreeclassic 38 152

vote type 1 3 614

Damper

By bleh - 23/11/2009 22:29 - United States

Today, my fiancé and I were fooling around when his foreskin ripped and bled all over the place. After a trip to the emergency room, the doctor told us no sex for six weeks to let it heal. We're getting married and going on our honeymoon in two weeks. FML

agreeclassic 31 540

vote type 1 6 845

Not feeling it

By Anonymous - 20/06/2021 02:01

Today, it’s been over 15 months since I’ve had sex with my fiancé. We’re getting married next month. Now I'm wondering if we’ll have sex at all on our honeymoon. FML

agreeclassic 1 463

vote type 1 384

Out of order

By HornyWife - 13/06/2020 02:02

Today, I'm on my honeymoon. My husband and I cannot consummate our marriage, because his penis has an open wound due to… vigorous masturbation. FML

agreeclassic 2 489

vote type 1 371

Take a ticket

By ugh - 24/05/2015 19:53 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML

agreeclassic 33 178

vote type 1 5 138

Denied

By Anonymous - 23/04/2021 23:01

Today, my fiancé decided that we shouldn't have sex before we get married. Even though we've been doing it for years. We can't get married right now due to Covid. FML

agreeclassic 1 212

vote type 1 200

Leviathan_fml 0

Friday 3 April 2009 10:03

ouch. have sex anyway.

KPACOTKA 0

Friday 3 April 2009 9:57

YOUR LIFE DOES SUCK.... BUT NOT FOR LONG

Comments

cdude200 10

Sunday 18 June 2017 0:21

have sex anyway if you die it will be the greatest moment you ever had in your entire life

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Today, I was having sex with an ex when he whispered in my ear, "Who's my baby?" I, being very bad at dirty talk, said, "You." FML

agreeclassic 5 636

vote type 1 1 607

Today, the week-long debate in my Senior Composition class reached a new height. A student brought in a special map and a globe to "prove" that the Earth is flat. FML

agreeclassic 4 813

vote type 1 316

Today, my ex-girlfriend got married to a man she met last year. She left me after 8 years together because I told her I wanted to have fun and live my life, and wasn’t ready for marriage. Three years later, I’m not having fun at all. None of my bros wanna make plans because they’d rather be with their wives and kids. FML

agreeclassic 110

vote type 1 1 412

Today, I went to class to take an important final for which I studied all week long and worked hard in class. Today, the teacher also told us that anyone who had an A did not have to take the final. I missed out on a trip to the Bahamas for this. FML

agreeclassic 34 825

vote type 1 3 482

Today, my wife said she was going to her friend's place to help her with couponing. She started getting ready at 5pm; shaved her legs, did her hair, put on skin-tight leggings and a low-cut top. Left at 6pm, snuck back in at 2:50am. Shit, couponing must be really exciting. FML

agreeclassic 21 166

vote type 1 2 908

Today, I found out that my wife has been getting rid of every single item of clothing I didn’t compliment her on. This has probably cost me thousands already. FML

agreeclassic 1 727

vote type 1 433