Animals and Dogs: Today, I fell asleep while watching a movie. My puppy took this...

By Anonymous - 15/10/2018 15:33

Today, I fell asleep while watching a movie. My puppy took this opportunity to help himself to half a gallon of vegetable oil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 664

You deserved it 499

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Same thing different taste

By Sammy - 25/02/2013 07:25 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I came home to find that while my husband and children were mindlessly watching TV, one of our dogs got into the cupboard that stores the deep fryer. He got the lid off, ate all of the old oil and barfed everything up on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 195

You deserved it 4 645

By mayhemily - 21/09/2015 16:22 - Canada - Aurora

Today, I passed out in my kitchen and was woken up by my dog. Not because she was worried about me, but because my body was blocking her food dish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 476

You deserved it 2 974

By Andrea Trevor - 30/04/2018 01:30

Today, I woke up at 5am to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 123

You deserved it 625

By aXel - 13/10/2008 08:29

Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 730

You deserved it 8 310

By Anonymous - 14/11/2011 05:09 - United States

Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 292

You deserved it 4 652

By Wow - 11/04/2013 12:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 247

You deserved it 19 303

What ARE you doing?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, I was so tired at the pet store I was working at that I accidentally offered a kid a dog treat instead of their dog. He ate it. While his mom watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 349

You deserved it 1 523

By girlllll - 01/06/2010 12:31 - Denmark

Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and his parents, who I haven't known very long. I ended up falling asleep. That doesn't sound so bad, until I woke my drooling self up by snoring extremely loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 318

You deserved it 5 799

By WhyMe - 27/11/2018 17:30

Today, I woke up approximately half a nanosecond after my dog involuntarily vomited in bed. On my face. I opened my mouth because it literally filled my nose. I swallowed out of reflex before I was fully awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 472

You deserved it 310

Wake up call

By Anonymous - 31/05/2021 00:01

Today, I let my 4-month old puppy sleep with me. She’s been constipated for a while. I woke up to a foul odor in the middle of the night. Turns out she took a massive dump on the bed right by my head. I had to completely strip my bed to go back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 776

You deserved it 459

Dave_Davington 33

Monday 15 October 2018 13:40

His anus will be lubricated for the rest of his life.

ViviMage 38

Monday 15 October 2018 13:40

Chances are puppy will be ok, other than vomiting and diarrhea. Worse case pancreatitis can happen. Why did the puppy get in that much oil? Was the lid off the fryer??

Comments

ViviMage 38

Monday 15 October 2018 13:40

Chances are puppy will be ok, other than vomiting and diarrhea. Worse case pancreatitis can happen. Why did the puppy get in that much oil? Was the lid off the fryer??

ayenii 14

Tuesday 16 October 2018 0:25

I’m not the OP, but chances are a gallon of the oil was left out in the container and the puppy chewed off the lid to get to the oily, unhealthy goodness inside. Hoping the pup is O.K., though—my own dog got pancreatitis from being fed fat trimmings, and it really wasn’t a pleasant thing to go through. We almost had to put her down due to crippling bills from the pet hospital, but luckily our local vet gave us an alternative that the hospital didn’t tell us about. Best wishes, OP!

Dave_Davington 33

Monday 15 October 2018 13:40

His anus will be lubricated for the rest of his life.

TumblrweedPasses 11

Monday 15 October 2018 14:32

Best call the vet just in case Can't be good for the thieving buggers heart

silentbabydeer 10

Monday 15 October 2018 14:36

How does the puppy have access to the vegetables oil? So many questions to how did that happen?

Natassy 24

Monday 15 October 2018 14:56

at least he will poop smooth for a couple of days. Further he will probably be all right

Eivana 37

Monday 15 October 2018 18:05

A few years ago, my puppy chewed up a bottle of Aquaphor that I guess fell out of my bag as I was leaving for work. He shit it out, and I kid you not, it was all gel like and felt insanely nasty.