You're fired

Rummaging around in my stuff

By Chesty Larue - 07/08/2015 00:29 - United States

Today, I got fired from my part-time job, because I insisted on keeping my phone in my pocket and never using it, instead of putting it in locker without a lock or security camera, that anyone can go through. The manager found out by searching my locker for the past 3 weeks. Ironic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 564

You deserved it 2 397

Sir Alan no Sugar

By Anonymous - 21/03/2022 10:00 - Australia - Thirroul

Today, I realised the project I’ve been tirelessly working on for 6 months is actually going to cost the company $380,000. I thought the negative symbol was a saving, not a loss. I'm a senior analyst for the company, or at least… I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 1 289

Nice meeting you

By Anonymous - 04/12/2010 00:14 - United States

Today, my boss finally pronounced my name correctly. My name was then followed by the words, "You're fired." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 808

You deserved it 2 586

Never comment on YouTube

By ITisaSnitch - 02/09/2022 04:00

Today, I was at work and commented on someone’s YouTube video that they sounded “so white” when pronouncing “Tacos Al Pastor.” I didn’t realize I'd used my job’s Google account to post the comment. Someone flagged my comment, and our IT department told my boss, who then fired me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 179

You deserved it 2 143

I'll see you in court

By Goodbyefreeflights - 04/06/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I got fired from my flight attendant job because I commented to a colleague how a passenger has the audacity to fly economy while sporting a huge Louis Vuitton duffle bag, and that it must be a replica bag. Apparently she was within earshot and reported me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 953

Justice served

By ToiletPrankster - 15/03/2022 06:00

Today, I thought it would be funny to prank call my job on my day off. I star 69’ed the numbers and prank called my coworkers. However, when I got to my boss, he knew who I was, and threatened to report me to the police. I’d forgotten to star 69. Safe to say, I was fired on my day off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 174

You deserved it 3 396

By Dude - 02/04/2009 05:36 - United States

Today, I got laid off from work. I was being escorted to the elevator when another coworker stepped inside. He said, "How goes it?" I said, "It goes." Then he said, "At least we have a job." FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 177

You deserved it 3 683

Meanwhile, at Twitter HQ… (possibly)

By layoff administrator - 19/03/2023 02:00

Today, I found out I'm being laid off. Because I'm the only person at this company who knows how to process a layoff in our HR system, I get to have the pleasure of laying myself off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 028

You deserved it 82

Manager of the year

By xmeatballx21 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I received a phone call from my old boss asking me why I wasn't at work, to which I responded, "Because you fired me yesterday." He didn't say anything, and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 988

You deserved it 3 512

Customer relationships

By UnemployedGirl - 02/07/2021 19:59

Today, I assisted a customer at work. She was asking me all sorts of stupid questions and acting like an entitled, spoiled brat. When she left, since I had a mask on, I meant to mouth, "Stupid bitch" but I blurted it out loud. Everyone heard. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 1 639

Labor laws are a joke

By Anonymous - 17/08/2023 00:00

Today, I asked a girl at work out, who'd claimed she was single. Not ten minutes later, our boss fired me. Turns out that girl is actually his side chick he cheats on his wife with, even though she’s 19 and he’s 48. Not illegal, just scummy as hell, and he fired me out of jealousy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865

You deserved it 126

How dare you?

By Needgasmoney - 16/05/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I got fired for “insubordination.” All I did was ask how my compensation would be adjusted due to my coworker quitting and having to do her job until her position is filled. I live in Florida, which is an “at will” employment state. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 89

Wrongful

By beat10 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was fired for "customer dissatisfaction." I work in IT and have never met one of my company's customers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 051

You deserved it 4 237

It's all fun and games until…

By this generation sucks! - 14/07/2022 22:00

Today, I've now had to fire three employees this month alone. Why? Two were caught making TikToks while on the clock, “joking” about stealing customers’ credit card info, and the third posted a video of herself in a street fight while wearing her uniform. It should hurt to be this damn stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 270

You deserved it 127

Edit King

By Cianna - 15/12/2021 23:01

Today, I dumped my coworker boyfriend because I caught him cheating with another coworker. He reported me for sexual harassment, and showed my boss the consensual texts we shared during our relationship. Turns out he edited them to make it look like I was the one “harassing” him. Sucks to be jobless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 706

You deserved it 300

The nerve of some people

By evecharneco - 25/05/2021 20:01 - United States

Today, it's been a few months since got fired from a job I'd spent two years at. Before getting fired, I trained the entire new staff, and to this day they still message me for help, even though I was fired months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 086

You deserved it 123

No warning

By lol - 19/09/2021 11:00

Today, despite leaving early to go to work, I still ended up late because some dude decided to have an argument with the bus driver, delaying us by 20 minutes. As a result, I was fired without a write-up. This was my first ever time being late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 276

You deserved it 78

Definitely confusing

By Anonymous - 05/10/2021 17:00 - United States

Today, I lost my job, neither by quitting or getting fired. I don't know whether to be mad or confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 91

Bad habits

By StopSnitchinBro - 04/06/2023 18:00

Today, I got fired from my job. Turns out, just because the new redheaded guy at work doesn't say anything about you calling them "Ed Sheeran" all the time doesn't mean he's not reporting it to management. FML

I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 2 778

Sir Alan Sugar has spoken

By freckleboy422 - 31/01/2011 09:28 - United States

Today, I got married and I'd invited everyone from work including my boss. His way of congratulating me was to mention that I'm out of a job. He said it was a good time to do it because he thought I would be too happy or too drunk to care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 646

You deserved it 2 835

Unreliable

By Anonymous - 24/08/2025 22:00 - Canada - Maple Ridge

Today, after moving provinces and working my ass off to find a job, and finally finding one, I got the flu and had to call in sick two days on my first week. They fired me today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 512

You deserved it 93

Random reasoning

By Anonymous - 06/11/2022 12:00

Today, my boss fired me, saying he’d had a lot of patience with me, but now the time had come to part. Funny, a few months ago he told me that he had to have a lot of patience with each of my coworkers when they started, but that I was the only one who grasped it all right from the start. FML

I agree, your life sucks 918

You deserved it 112

Adding insult to injury

By lol - 23/07/2021 05:59

Today, my boss fired me. Then later on Facebook, his public status was, "Finally fired the sumo wrestler!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 085

You deserved it 105

Reefer madness

By Anonymous - 15/11/2021 13:59 - United Kingdom

Today, I told the coworker who sits next to me that I don't smoke weed anymore, after she brought a spliff to work. I then got called into the directors' boardroom to receive a warning for smelling like marijuana at work. I was only allowed one more warning before they were due to fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 999

You deserved it 207

Before I forget…

By Anonymous - 24/05/2022 18:01

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. My boss called me into her office and congratulated me, and spent almost half an hour asking me what our wedding plans were, where we might honeymoon, if we wanted kids, etc. She then followed this by suddenly remembering she had called me into the office to sack me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 287

You deserved it 88

By soon to be unemployed - 28/01/2014 22:36 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, my boss let me know that I'm being laid off, via a text message that ended in "lmao". FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 718

You deserved it 3 960

Corporate

By crap - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was fired from my job for breaking my company's tattoo policy. I have a small scar on my wrist that roughly resembles a heart. My boss insists that it's one of those white ink tattoos. No one will believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 813

You deserved it 2 694

Student becomes the master

By Anonymous - 06/06/2021 16:58 - United States - Steele

Today, my son's "favorite" teacher went on a tirade criticizing my "awful" parenting. About two months ago, my son got her fired after he reported her to the principal for forcing him to miss out on lunch to finish a project. Apparently, that wasn't the first time she did something like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 995

You deserved it 121

Company ink

By DoubleCrossed - 21/08/2021 18:01

Today, my boyfriend, who is also my coworker, broke up with me. I agreed to stay professional and civil with him during our work hours. However, he decided to report me for "sexual harassment" and "stalking." He showed them the "evidence." I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 394

You deserved it 177

FML on Facebook

Keywords

My ex Love Sex Weird Surprise Work Miscellaneous Roommate Fire Neighbours Noise Birthday Cute Embarrassing Games Weddings Awkward Money Suspicious Music Drunk Cops Gross Poopoo peepee Transportation Cars Relatable Bodyshaming Dating Family

The Top

Today, after taking a guy home and getting frisky, he woke up in the middle of the night, got out of bed, and peed on my desk. That's 2 years of uni work and my laptop soaked through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 833

You deserved it 2 924

Today, after years of loaning my mother countless amounts of cash that never get paid back, borrowing $60 from her, and being just one day late paying it off due to food poisoning, she sends a very large man to my door to collect, like she's Tony Soprano. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 517

You deserved it 4 943

Today, I found out all about my son's secret online double life. He's been moonlighting for two years as a male prostitute by the name of Peter Parker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 547

You deserved it 5 601

Today, my mom's "hobby" of rescuing homeless people became very real. We now have 3 more people living in our house, and none of them have a sense of personal space. I wake up to their faces in my windows. Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 921

You deserved it 2 475

Today, I thought my neighbors were having a loud argument, so I went to knock on their door to make sure everything was OK. They weren’t fighting, they were rehearsing lines for a community theater play. They invited me to the show. I still haven’t recovered from the embarrassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317

You deserved it 173

Today, I’m a stay-at-home dad who packed my kid’s lunch while half-asleep. At pickup, my child told the teacher I packed “Daddy’s special sandwich.” Turns out I'd wrapped my own spicy tuna sandwich instead of the kid-safe peanut butter one. The teacher handed it back gently and asked if I wanted it “for later.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 256