All the FMLs

By NoTypeOfExercise - 11/07/2016 15:05 - United States - Encino

Today, my husband told me I couldn't go to my morning yoga class, because he needed to leave for work at 7:30 am sharp, and I wouldn't be back in time to watch our son. It's 8:05 am and he still hasn't left for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 394

You deserved it 1 445

By Anonymous - 11/07/2016 07:58 - Bulgaria - Sofia

Today, my son finally got a job for the first time in his life. He only did it so he can upgrade his PC and buy Overwatch. He's 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 388

You deserved it 3 590

By WhatTheF - 11/07/2016 05:42

Today, after far too many times of my brother stealing food out of my own personal mini fridge, I bought a lock and chained the handles together. I came back to find that my brother had responded by breaking the doors off their hinges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 926

You deserved it 1 135

By polemania - 11/07/2016 05:23 - United States

Today, I had an employee come in 20 minutes late with the excuse, "There's a Pokemon gym across the street!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 487

You deserved it 1 824

By Seeyounarabish - 11/07/2016 03:06 - United States - Pearland

Today, my sister pointed out a weird black mass underneath the lace of my dress. Perplexed, I looked down to inspect further and discover a wasp, under my boobs, attempting to build a nest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 063

You deserved it 1 296

Seeyounarabish tells us more.

Seeyounarabish 21

Monday 11 July 2016 20:15

Hi OP here! I was talking with my mom and sister when the wasp somehow made it's way underneath the top part of my dress. I'm not sure how to visualize this for you guys but the top part of the dress has lace that's separate from the rest of the body so it's a bit difficult to notice if a wasp flies into that part because there's a slight gap between the regular fabric and the actual lace. Also because wasps have feet as light as ninjas. I do my laundry regularly, I just thought that the wasp mistook that part of my dress as the perfect place to start building its nest. Or maybe the wind accidentally directed it there? I'm not entirely sure. Anyways, I enjoyed reading everyone's comments and I hope that answers most of y'alls questions! Fortunately, I was lucky enough that the wasp was too confused to sting me! :)

Hard shoulder

By me. - 11/07/2016 03:00 - United States - Norman

Today, I found out my mom has been telling my entire family I need surgery on my "Labia" instead of my "Labrum". I went from needing shoulder surgery to needing vagina surgery with one group text. Thanks, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 779

You deserved it 745

By Not his SunShine anymore - 10/07/2016 23:04 - United States - Manchester

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me over something that happened 5 years ago. We've only been together for 2 years as of this July. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 744

You deserved it 1 078

By abygalee - 10/07/2016 20:42 - United States - Akron

Today, my mom hadn't talked to me for 5 days, so worried sick I called my grandpa. She's been in jail, and no one cared to inform me. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 030

You deserved it 723

Sigma

By DumbassRoaster - 10/07/2016 19:44 - United States - Fairview

Today, I was woken up by my dad and my dog barking at each other, and my dad yelling, "I am the Alpha male!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 609

You deserved it 1 734

Ouch

By leaannec30 - 10/07/2016 18:52 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, I thought my car was overheating. I then thought it was wise to put my hand close to my muffler to feel the heat. Needless to say, I stuck my entire hand on my muffler then had to drive around with the only cold thing in my car. A cold beer from my cooler. Yes, I got pulled over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 763

You deserved it 11 974

By Dlpnlvr85 - 10/07/2016 18:43 - United States - Elkhart

Today, I woke up to find some really weird stuff in my bed. We just got back from vacation in Florida, and my husband burned really bad. I woke up to his peeled off skin all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 597

You deserved it 850

By Anonymous - 10/07/2016 16:33

Today, two people came up to me at school, asking if I'd sell them some of my Adderall. I only just transferred here and have never mentioned my ADHD or the Adderall I take for it to anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 487

You deserved it 953

By Anonymous - 10/07/2016 14:23

Today, a customer asked if we stocked gluten-free water. Then she got pissed when I laughed at what I thought was her joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 180

You deserved it 1 069

By Anonymous - 09/07/2016 23:31

Today, the guy I broke up with for being too possessive and jealous threatened to leak my nudes if he sees or hears that I've gotten with anyone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 673

You deserved it 5 296

By Anonymous - 09/07/2016 21:22

Today, I got pulled over and was given a ticket because my exhaust was too loud. I got this ticket while on my way to get said exhaust fixed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 313

You deserved it 1 018

By pamcakes - 09/07/2016 17:14

Today, my dog pooped on the floor, and the Roomba my sweet boyfriend bought me as a housewarming gift, ran over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 462

You deserved it 1 285

Mr Burns

By ScarletBuckeye - 09/07/2016 16:38

Today, I didn't want to get sand in my shoes, so I walked down to the beach barefoot. The sand was so hot that it burned the soles of my feet. I now have blisters across the bottom of my feet and between my toes… but at least there's no sand in my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 506

You deserved it 5 021

By Anonymous - 09/07/2016 15:14

Today, I overheard my boss talking about me on the phone. Turns out he was drunk off his ass when he gave the go-ahead to hire me, and he's now searching for any excuse to legally fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 011

You deserved it 917

By broke - 09/07/2016 07:36

Today, just like the past 2 weeks, I'm so broke that I only got to eat dinner because I went on a first date with a guy from Tinder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 475

You deserved it 2 713

By Anonymous - 09/07/2016 04:09

Today, I walked in on my son flopping around on the floor with a blanket wrapped around his legs. Apparently at age 22, he'd rather pretend to be a mermaid than go out and get a damn job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 890

You deserved it 2 470

By wantedphantom - 09/07/2016 02:26

Today, I was at the lake with my family. I was drinking from a can of soda but didn't realize a bee flew into the can. I didn't swallow it, but I now have Kylie Jenner's lips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 831

You deserved it 1 008

By goldendarkness - 09/07/2016 01:34

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to stop by a drive-thru on the way to his place. I asked him to order a Coke for me, at which point he asked if I wanted to make it a Diet Coke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 784

You deserved it 2 976

By Anonymous - 09/07/2016 01:13

Today, I did a California stop during a drive with my Driver's Ed teacher. He made me get out, hug the stop sign and apologize to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 560

You deserved it 8 071

By Anonymous - 08/07/2016 22:09

Today, my boss reprimanded me for a huge screw-up that he was responsible for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 843

You deserved it 846

By samaris - 08/07/2016 21:19

Today, 5 months after doing a shoot for a stock photo site, someone finally used one of my photos. In an article about meth abuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 344

You deserved it 1 203

Left hanging out to dry

By Anonymous - 08/07/2016 18:47

Today, I clogged the toilet at my boyfriend's house. I couldn't fix it and was too ashamed to say anything. I can't handle confrontation, so I had to just sit there as my boyfriend's brother ended up getting blamed, then grounded for "lying" about it not being his fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 771

You deserved it 14 052

By terribob1 - 08/07/2016 14:52

Today, I was terminated from my job. This comes after I sent HR an email about an inappropriate relationship between my manager and a counselor. Seems like I should have kept my mouth shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 560

You deserved it 4 522

Property is theft

By mu5icadd1ct - 08/07/2016 13:22

Today, my sister stole my bike and gave it to her boyfriend. When I told my parents, they said it was fine, because I wasn't using it anyway. The reason I wasn't using it was because it needed a new tire, and I was saving up for one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 690

You deserved it 912

By ThanksMom - 08/07/2016 07:54 - United States - State College

Today, while taking out the trash late at night with my mom, a group of people drove by and decided it would be funny to turn around and chase us up the driveway in their car. Before I even realized what was happening, my mom was already halfway to the house yelling back, "You're on your own!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 585

You deserved it 1 326

By quackers - 08/07/2016 07:00 - United States - Columbus

Today, I found out that my favorite pizza place will no longer deliver to my area after dark because they've been robbed too many times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 867

You deserved it 1 217

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was chopping weeds with a weed whacker. I heard something get caught in the blades, and realized it was a frog when the leg hit me in the eye. The rest of the chopped frog ended up on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 255

You deserved it 5 514

Today, a 4 year-old saw me and started crying and screaming like heck. I mean, I knew that I didn't look good, but this is too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 805

You deserved it 100

Today, a long day of work and a bad day for my mental health, I tried to relax with my wife, a movie, and a soda. After returning from using the bathroom, I took a swig to discover a particularly odorous stink bug had snuck into the can, now my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 545

You deserved it 109

Today, I thought my girlfriend of two years had ghosted me. Turns out, she was deported after assuming that “this whole immigration thing will just sort itself out.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 122

You deserved it 248

Today, I went on a date with a guy I’ve been wanting forever. Trying to impress him, I told him I like talking about sports and smart topics instead of talking about makeup and boys like other girls. He stared at me in confusion and asked, “What’s so bad about being like other girls?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 909

Today, I ran up to my boyfriend to kiss him when he got home from work. I tripped and I fell on him, and he fell backwards. He ended up hitting his head on the sidewalk and had to get stitches. He also had a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 517

You deserved it 3 259