All the FMLs

Check, please!

By No second date - 13/07/2025 06:00 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a fun, attractive girl. She ordered off the kid's menu, drowned her food in ketchup, and said my burger with blue cheese and bacon was disgusting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 170

The road to hell

By Anonymous - 13/07/2025 02:00 - United States - Western Springs

Today, I realized that basically half of my route to work now is road construction with traffic narrowed to one lane in both directions and backups for miles. I really wish they wouldn't start so many projects at once. Even trying to get around it is a pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 72

Like in the movies

By alltern8ive - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 650

You deserved it 5 166

Undisclosed annoyance

By Hdbelle - 12/07/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I waited on hold with an undisclosed government office for nearly two and a half hours, sitting through 45 minutes of Terms and Conditions, only for the clerk to finally answer, say “Hello” once, and then hang up on me before I could even respond. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 92

I'm so tired

By Musical Terror - 12/07/2025 16:00 - Canada - Regina

Today, I had a panic attack on the bus, because I couldn’t find my headphones. I was listening to them the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 218

You deserved it 401

Cut short

By Anonymous - 12/07/2025 21:00 - Ireland

Today, after working two jobs and saving constantly this year all for a month-long solo vacation traveling to 7 countries, I arrived in first one. Within three hours I fell and broke my foot, forcing me to come home in fear of needing surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 542

You deserved it 103

Ragebait backfire

By Melybae - 12/07/2025 14:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I’ve been systematically sharing stories and posts about how love sucks and man-bashing memes so that my crush would regret his decision about rejecting me and choosing another girl over me. He DM’ed me : “Getting tired of your shit Melissa, I’m blocking you.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 1 322

Meanwhile, at Harvard…

By 552220000 - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I raised my hand to answer a question, but I forgot the answer, so when the teacher called on me, I just said, "I need to pee." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 700

You deserved it 628

Reverse Uno card

By Anonymous - 12/07/2025 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I made a small mistake, I admit, but my boss screamed at me that I’m completely useless and that if my uncle weren’t senior manager he’d fire me. I think he’s mistaken me for someone else, since I don’t have any uncles, but if I tell him that now, I actually believe he will fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 82

Himbo

By Anonymous - 12/07/2025 06:00 - United States

Today, I went to the gym to do squats. I couldn't even do it without weights on the squatting bar because it hurt too much to rest it on my back and neck. Then my friend who was with me and who is skinny as a rail easily managed it with two 45 pound weights. He claims it's from practice. I guess I’m wimpy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 391

I'm dying over here!

By Anonymous - 12/07/2025 03:00 - United States - Canton

Today, I choked on oatmeal, watered-down soupy oatmeal. It seemed to get stuck halfway down. I chucked up several spoonfuls. My wife was oblivious to all the noise I was making because she had her over-the-ear headphones on, listening to some stupid YouTube video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 280

You can't hurry love

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my grandma wasn't feeling well, so I went to her house to check on her. After about 20 minutes, I knew she was feeling better when she looked at me and said, "So, do you have a boyfriend yet? I pray every night that I get to live long enough to see you with a boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 677

You deserved it 4 135

Windy

By Not Marilyn - 12/07/2025 03:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I was walking into work when a gust of wind blew my skirt completely over my head in front of a group of tourists taking pictures of the building. Now I'm afraid that somewhere out there is a photo of me flashing my polka-dot underwear like a knock-off Marilyn Monroe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 102

Acts of service

By Diet time 4 me smh - 11/07/2025 18:00 - United States

Today, I asked my best friend, who I love, what his new girlfriend has that I don’t. I've gone the extra mile, did favors, been there at his highest and lowest for about a year and a half, yet he rejected me and chose a girl who he’s merely known 5 months. Apparently a slim waist and perky boobs/butt matters more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 685

Heart to heart

By Anonymous - 11/07/2025 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my sister answered texts from my girlfriend as though she was me. My girlfriend was glad we had a real heart to heart, even if it was just texts, while I was busy at work. I have no idea what they talked about and I’m too cowardly to break her heart by telling her it was my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 457

Industrial logs

By wow - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 694

You deserved it 37 324

Accounting

By sorryaboutthat - 11/07/2025 09:00 - United States - Cleveland

Today, because I forgot to fill out a form, I accidentally held up payroll for the whole organization. Oops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 129

You deserved it 506

Pizza > Love

By Anonymous - 11/07/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I leaned in to kiss my boyfriend goodnight at the door. He smiled sweetly, cupped my cheek… and then used his other hand to pull the last slice of pizza out of my hand and slam the door shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 113

Get back here

By Dog the bounty hunter - 11/07/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my dog somehow figured out how to open the sliding glass door while I was taking a nap. I woke up to a text from my neighbor, saying, “Your damn dog is running around at the park annoying a bunch of strangers for food. You might want to come and grab her.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 173

Ewww, gross

By spekledworf - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Wrentham

Today, I discovered why the milk in my house has a funny, sweet taste. My family has been pouring the leftover milk from their cereal back into the carton. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 906

You deserved it 2 085

Slippery situation

By Slippery - 11/07/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, it had rained and the marble steps outside my office were slicker than I expected. I was trying to navigate down them with a coffee cup in one hand and my phone in the other when I was startled by a notification, slipped, threw my coffee up in the air, and landed flat on my back. Of course there were spectators. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 229

Good boy

By Anonymous - 10/07/2025 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my mom bought me a puppy. I’m single, I work 14 hour days, my life is in no way suitable for pet ownership, but mom won’t take him back because she thinks I need to learn adult responsibility. I’m a senior technician with a team of 17 people, I couldn’t be more responsible if I tried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 618

You deserved it 106

Betrayed

By Anonymous - 10/07/2025 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my husband never actually took our new healthy lifestyle seriously when his coworker told me that now, instead of at the house, he keeps beer and cigars at his brother's house, and visits the Burger King drive through every day for lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 223

SCREAM!

By Anonymous - 10/07/2025 20:00 - United States - Newport

Today, I was in the bathroom at a party when I noticed a spider the size of a golf ball on the toilet paper roll. I screamed, tripped over my own feet trying to flee, and fell right into the bathtub. Everyone at the party heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 220

You deserved it 304

Office Space

By Mishlette - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I started at my new job. Turns out my boss is a complete douchebag. He spent most of the day looking over our shoulders and making cuntish comments about our work, then called a guy a piece of shit for farting, and forced him to spray disinfectant on his chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 259

You deserved it 2 818

Stuck in a rut

By Anonymous - 10/07/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, I’m at a water park with my kids and their two friends. We all just got back from vacation where I got to see my wife every day. Now she’s back at work, and I won’t see her during the day. I go back to work tomorrow. For now, I’m at this park, bored as fuck, and lonely as hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 235

Daddy!

By Andy - 10/07/2025 12:00 - Australia

Today, I went to pick up my niece from daycare. As I walked past the gates, a little kid yelled, “Daddy’s here!” and ran to hug me. His actual dad was right behind me, clearly very confused, while the daycare workers glared at me like they were about to call the cops on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 76

Poor little thing

By Yikes - 10/07/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I was at my friend's house, and his cat followed me to the bathroom. I accidentally knocked down a bottle of bug spray and went to pick it up, and the cat started freaking out. Apparently, he sprays her with water so often that she's become terrified of bottles in general. Now I feel like an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 72

Boo!

By Today - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, in my school's rugby grand final, I had to take a penalty kick to win the game. Possibly the easiest kick I've taken all year. I stuff it up, and it completely missed. A crowd of 2000 people laughed, and later booed me off the field. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 868

You deserved it 486

It wasn't me

By Anonymous - 10/07/2025 04:00 - Romania

Today, on the way to work, I saw a mama bear and two cubs beside the road. The guy in front of me hit and killed one of the cubs and sped off. Mama bear ran out into the road, blocked my path, and must have thought I killed her cub, because she attacked my car and tore the bumper and side panel off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 79

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, after ordering it four weeks ago, I finally got the expensive figurine that I'd been wanting. Also today, my brother jizzed onto it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 185

You deserved it 418

Today, waiting times in our emergency department were so long that a patient who'd initially presented with just a sprained ankle eventually presented with a sprained ankle and a request to test for STDs because he went to see a prostitute instead of waiting, and his condom broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 135

You deserved it 247

Today, and after always saying that I didn't want kids and realizing that I actually do, I’ve started having the worst periods every 14 days like clockwork. Looks like the Universe doesn’t want me to have them either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 751

You deserved it 196

Today, six months after my wife convinced me to open our relationship, I finally scored with a lovely lady. My wife threw the biggest fit in history. Apparently, she just wanted to fuck other men and didn't think anyone would be interested in me, and now she feels inadequate and threatened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 008

You deserved it 367

Today, one week after moving into my new apartment in a new city to get away from my stalker ex, I met my new neighbour. Yep, stalker ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 892

You deserved it 137

Today, I got tired of my girlfriend always leaving the conversation when we chat, so I changed my number and email address, and texted her under a different name. We talked for hours non stop. Should I tell her it's me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 141