All the FMLs

Remember those vampire dudes?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, the painting I worked on for three weeks was rejected from an art contest because the rules prohibit fan art. It wasn't fan art. They mistook it for Twilight fan art. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 267

You deserved it 8 300

Bounce off

By clumsy girl - 25/09/2023 12:30 - United States - Austin

Today, I embraced my inner child and went to a trampoline park with friends. I was having a blast until I attempted a somersault and ended up bouncing right into a group of screaming toddlers. I was escorted out by a concerned parent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 284

You deserved it 773

The deal

By Anonymous - 25/09/2023 10:00

Today, after a day of anxiety and worry that something bad would happen, I decided to keep my two daughters home from being flower girls at my sister's wedding. Now my sister and entire family is blowing up my phone. Apparently her wedding is my important than a mother worried about her babies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 2 475

Concerned parent

By trying - 24/09/2023 22:30 - United States

Today, I tried to nicely talk to my daughter about her rapid weight gain. Having a family history of weight-related illness, I felt it was necessary. I offered to get thyroid tests, teach her to buy healthy food, and start routine exercise. She told everyone I called her a cow and had fat-shamed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 213

Number one or number two?

By Anonymous - 25/09/2023 13:00 - Australia

Today, I found out that the myth about what happens when you dream you're going to the toilet is not entirely untrue. At least for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 601

You deserved it 88

Hand me downs

By Marcipaud - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Detroit

Today, I opened up an English textbook to find someone else's dirty fingernails between the pages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 188

You deserved it 1 067

Alexa, play "Let Me Down Gently" by Spacemen 3

By Heal my butt smh - 24/09/2023 18:02 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I’ve been waiting for the girl I love to break up with her boyfriend so I could ask her out. It finally happened; however she said she wanted time to heal before she started getting involved with guys again. I respected that decision. There’s just one problem. I saw her in town, hand in hand with another man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 1 029

Adding insult to injury

By Fly my pretty, FLY! - 25/09/2023 02:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, my mom's super spoiled small demon dog attacked my 3 year-old daughter, mauling her leg. Out of instinct, I kicked it away, causing it to fly across the room yelping. I picked up my daughter and took her straight to the hospital, where she got stitches. Later that night, I was greeted with a vet bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 151

You deserved it 160

On the run

By Airplane crap - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Leavenworth

Today, I got stuck on an airplane for a while before takeoff. Someone decided it was a great time to get diarrhea while on the toilet, and we couldn't take off for safety reasons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 502

You deserved it 4 240

Boundaries

By Anonymous - 24/09/2023 16:00

Today, as I'm 7 months pregnant and craving sweets, I helped myself to my MIL's birthday cake a little early. The family got so angry, they actually made me leave the party. My husband agreed with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 2 673

Breadwinner

By Anonymous - 24/09/2023 14:00

Today, I was arguing with my fiancée, having the same argument I had with my ex wife. “Why should I get off early for the kids?”, “Why can’t you do it?” Because I’d forfeit $200 per day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 690

Not-so-biker chick

By Kris - 24/09/2023 10:00 - Canada

Today, I thought it was about time to learn to ride a bike as an adult. I wobbled down the street, lost my balance, and crashed into a parked ice cream truck. The owner yelled at me, and I was left with a bruised ego and no ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 219

Let me in

By Anonymous - 24/09/2023 08:00

Today, I found myself locked out of my apartment because my roommate had a medical emergency while I was out of town. The rental office, including maintenance, is closed until Monday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 637

You deserved it 206

Classic cat prank

By Icky Foot - 24/09/2023 06:00

Today, I was walking down the hallway when I stepped in an ice cold pile of cat vomit. I was barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 637

You deserved it 163

Controlling

By Anonymous - 24/09/2023 04:00

Today, two days into our honeymoon, my mother-in-law turned up at our Spa hotel and pretended it was a huge coincidence. We are an 8-hour flight away, yet she tried to claim she had a Spa coupon about to expire, from another country. Nice try Linda you nosy, interfering bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 294

You deserved it 94

By c.hip - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I picked off what I thought was a small bug feeding on my skin. I was wrong. It was a mole. I spent the next 30 minutes trying to stop the continuous bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 214

You deserved it 11 040

This is America

By Anonymous - 24/09/2023 00:02

Today, I found out that my rent is going up by $100. This is the third year in a row. I'm on SSI ($914/month) and it was $550 when I moved in before the pandemic. I'm also morbidly obese, schizophrenic, and my family doesn't respect me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 543

You deserved it 796

Thanks, I hate it

By Clara - 23/09/2023 22:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, for my birthday, I got a beautiful bouquet of flowers, a lovingly hand-decorated candle, and my first positive Covid test ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 659

You deserved it 121

Pecking order of shame

By We're men! We don't grow up, we just grow old. - 24/09/2023 02:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, a noisy little kid in the bus seated behind me asked his mom loudly, "Why is that big man watching cartoons for girls?" Me and the guy next to me, who too was watching on his phone, paused for a bit. He smirked, shaking his head, laughing under his breath. He was watching anime; I was watching My Little Pony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 987

Seller appreciation day

By Anon. - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I had to look at my positive eBay feedback to feel loved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 494

You deserved it 6 347

Over the Rainbow Bridge

By Traumatized cat owner - 23/09/2023 09:00 - United States

Today, after two weeks of believing that my extremely sick cat had escaped the house and ran away to die, I uncovered his lifeless body while deep cleaning my living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 358

Opportunities

By dogsickftl - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I left my hammer outside after putting up my 'For Sale' sign in front of my house. I realised and went outside to get it. The hammer had been used to smash my car window and steal stuff inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 201

You deserved it 7 176

Hang in there

By Anonymous - 23/09/2023 18:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, because of my anxiety, which causes me to procrastinate, I left an assignment until the last minute. I got 18/40 and it was a 'must pass' to complete the unit. I don't know whether to just say fuck it and drop out now, or continue and do the final exam for this subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 224

You deserved it 985

Great Plains? Tornado Alley?

By a girl with eyes - 23/09/2023 08:00

Today, I had to cancel a first date due to tornado weather. The guy texted me, saying never to contact him again, and then blocked me. This is the fourth time this exact scenario has happened to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 199

The war on cars strikes back

By xobrattybabexo - 22/09/2023 23:00 - United States - Comanche

Today, as I was talking to my hubs about replacing a tire on my car, said tire blew. I don't have a spare, and I don't get paid till tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 584

You deserved it 146

Help yourself!

By called the cops - 22/09/2023 19:00 - United States

Today, my now ex was angrily moving out of our place. She slammed the door so hard behind her it bounced back wide open instead of latching. I don’t live in the best of neighborhoods. Since I was out of town, all I could do was watch helplessly on the Ring camera as my place was emptied out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 988

You deserved it 161

Brothers in arms

By MitchRapp - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my brother asked me what I want for my birthday, so I said that we could just hang out. He told me I should ask for something more realistic, like a gift card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 563

You deserved it 1 756

Stable genius

By Anonymous - 22/09/2023 17:02 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend to get her nails done, gave her 500 spending money, took her to eat, bought her son a TV, then bought her clothes. We get to her house, she steps inside then gets furious her son had made a mess and hadn't cleaned his room. She told me to take the TV back, which I did, then got reamed for doing so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 293

He's too old for this noise

By Anonymous - 22/09/2023 22:00

Today, my son was crying and my dad's way of helping was to go to the pub for an hour, then come back after my son had cried himself to sleep. I’d have kicked him out but he does a lot of other things around here, and I couldn’t cope without him. It doesn’t stop him being an insensitive prick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 263

You deserved it 917

Trousers? Suit you sir!

By brebis - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, when I threw my cigarette out of the car window, the wind blew it back in again. My pants got completely burnt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 417

You deserved it 72 833

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my husband won’t stop bragging about the girl with the "model cheekbones" from the airport shuttle, who kept telling her friend in French how hot he was in front of us. Miss Model was unaware that we’re from France, and my husband’s ego might never deflate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 986

You deserved it 162

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 374

You deserved it 6 833

Today, I realized my recent weight loss probably wasn't caused by working out and eating more healthily. It was from the tapeworm I discovered hanging out my ass after I took a crap. I had to pull it out with my bare hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 597

You deserved it 4 087

Today, my math teacher brought his laptop to tally up all our scores for our report card. He then displayed the results on a big screen in front of the whole class. The ones who failed were marked yellow. I was the only one marked yellow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 695

You deserved it 21 007

Today, after I tried to be the bigger person and invite my dad to my college graduation/dinner, and he asked when so I gave him the address and times, surprise surprise, he didn’t show up. He didn’t even have the decency to send a damn text. Yet when I’m angry about his crap, I get told I have daddy issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 86

Today, I've actually developed a crush on a guy I never intended to crush on, and also can't have. For one he's married and utterly devoted to his wife. And even if that weren't true, he's so far out of my league I need binoculars to see him. And to top it all of? He's fictional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 413

You deserved it 6 329