Parents, Dad jokes, Argument Kids Mystery

Mystery

Waheyyy - - United Kingdom

Today, I was arguing with my dad. I called him a geriatric fool. He replied with, "Well at least I know who my biological father is." I have no idea if he's joking. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

confsused - 16/12/2013 17:49 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML

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He's got game

Anonymous - - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I horribly lost a game of basketball against my dad. It wouldn't have been so humiliating if he hadn't been piss drunk at the time. FML

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Sneaky

Anonymous - - Canada - Owen Sound

Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML

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bbbeast - 28/07/2009 02:42 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad asked me if I'd started smoking, I gave him a big speech about how I never have and never will. Two hours later, he found my stash of cigarettes under my bed. FML

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Slippery when wet

blewidstepr -

Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML

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Foreshadowing

JB. - - United States - Somerset

Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML

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Yada yada yade

Anonymous - - United States

Today, while waiting for my mom to pick me up from university, I took out my phone and pretended to talk to someone. I didn't think people still pointed and laughed, but apparently they do when your mom pulls up and shouts, "Stop pretending to talk to someone." FML

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Devious

rachel - - Germany - Köln

Today, my little brother told me to give him my phone so he could play a game on it. I said no, because I was taking a call from a friend at the time. He then walked over to the wall, headbutted it, burst into tears, then told my parents that I punched him. They believed him. FML

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Trauma for life

he's still not convinced - - United States

Today, while visiting my mother, she asked my son who his favorite parent was. As a growing boy, he chose his father. I don't mind, except she then asked, "So, whose side are you taking in the divorce?" My husband and I have no marital issues. My son refuses to believe us. FML

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Very funny, Mom

ThanksMa - - Canada

Today, my mother and I walked past my boyfriend, whom she's never met. After we casually greeted each other and went on our way, my mother said, "He's cute. Who is he?" I paused for a second and replied, "That's my boyfriend." She then said, "Does he know that?" FML

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Anonanimal 0

Monday 7 September 2009 23:05

he's just trying to bug you. you wouldn't believe the things my parents have said to me in arguements xD

Suckylicious 0

Monday 7 September 2009 23:06

my dad says im adopted all the time. i think im his kid. i just dont care that much!

TheZarola 10

Wednesday 29 September 2010 22:47

That was funny, though.

laylajune15 0

Wednesday 6 April 2011 14:28

that's scary if he wasn't ....

MetalLetteRaver 0

Tuesday 31 May 2011 6:37

bet you wont argue with him again though

onewaystreetpark 0

Wednesday 16 November 2011 9:38

Trolldad is a troll

123ilovejustinb 12

Tuesday 10 January 2012 4:32

Wow. You both suck at comebacks

RockinRoyaltyxD 13

Wednesday 15 February 2012 0:36

Ydi for disrespecting your father. I say something like that and my mouth gets slapped.

Phialvalve 6

Monday 25 February 2013 3:21

He was most assuredly joking, but still, you just got mind raped by your dad lol

ashjo 12

Sunday 22 September 2013 8:21

ask your mom

slowlearner 14

Tuesday 3 November 2015 5:11

He sounds badass ?

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my dad sent me back and forth repeatedly to the auto parts store for a replacement headlight bulb. He kept insisting that what I brought back was the wrong bulb. I had to drag him there to show I was getting the right one by asking the clerk. He's wrong, but is mad at me for embarrassing him in front of the staff. FML

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Today, I cleaned my car for the first time in ages and proudly showed my friend how spotless it was. Right then, a gust of wind blew a huge mess of shit straight inside as I opened the door. She said, “Nature disagrees.” Shards of leaves and other bits of crap were everywhere. FML

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Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my car. FML

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Today, my ex threatened to not return my things that she still has. She even went on to say she will burn them, because she hates me and I "broke her heart". Not only has it been over half a year since we broke up, but she was the one who broke up with me. FML

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Today, I slid into a seat in a very busy foodcourt that was jam packed full of seniors at the mall. It was the only seat available, so I was quick to jump into it. It was soaked with urine. FML

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Today, I flew 1800 km with my two small children to a remote northern village for work. Our bags were lost, leaving us without winter gear and only one change of clothes. Just to make things extra fun, we now all have uncontrollable vomiting and diarrhea. FML

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