Your everyday life stories

Anonymous - 28/06/2016 21:20 - United States

Today, for the second time, my girlfriend completely forgot that we split the rent on our apartment and is currently have a small meltdown because she wasn't prepared to pay her share. And she says I'm the financially irresponsible one. FML

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FU2 - 28/06/2016 19:52 - United States - Tacoma

Today, I was in tears after my doctor told me I cannot have kids despite only being 22. She then excitedly told me that I'll need to find another provider because she's pregnant and going on maternity leave. FML

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Butwhy - 28/06/2016 18:27 - United States - Burlington

Today, the 2 year old I'm babysitting makes herself bleed so she can wear Barbie bandaids. FML.

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LozKoz - 28/06/2016 18:23 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I helped my boyfriend's mother with pulling weeds in her garden. She told me that I should never marry her son. we have been together for four years. FML

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Mr_Cellophane99 - 28/06/2016 18:11 - United States - San Antonio

Today, after being a loyal employee for a year and improving training methods and business efficiency. I realized I was being paid less than the people I trained. To rub salt on the wound, turns out I'm being replaced in 2 weeks. FML

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QueenAwkwardIV - 28/06/2016 18:02 - United States - Haymarket

Today, my friend crept up behind me to pour water down my shirt, when my suspender strap came undone and hit him in the face. I turned to laugh, then the other one came undone and hit me in the face. FML

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TJMPFD - 28/06/2016 16:25

Today, a customer returned a toilet to the store but an associate didn't check it. Later a customer wanted to buy said toilet and upon inspection me and the customer found that there was a gigantic shit in the toilet that no one noticed. FML.

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Failed Cook - 28/06/2016 16:21 - United States - Elk Grove

Today is my mom's birthday. She's always said she want me to make her a meal, and I've already refused because I think I'm not good at it. This morning I went over early and made her breakfast and served it to her in bed. Without even looking at it she got up and dumped it in the trash. FML

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ShadowReiku - 28/06/2016 15:48 - United States - Bethesda

Today, I'm using the restroom at work when the cleaning lady came in. I'm bladder shy. She won't leave until I'm finished and I can't go until she leaves. FML

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Anonymous - 28/06/2016 15:31 - United States - Shippensburg

Today, a co-worker and I realized that we've finally found true love together. The co-worker is married and I'm engaged. FML

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phalangesenfuego - 28/06/2016 15:29 - United States - Seattle

Today, my very married friend has been trying to set me up with this guy. Turns out, she's having an affair with him, the whole time she's been setting us up. Um, ew. FML.

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ow - 28/06/2016 15:28 - United States - Marietta

Today, in an elaborate prank, my friend started a small fire in my yard. I tried to put it out and he used a remote controlled snake to freak me out, causing me to fall on the fire and get third degree burns. And now there is a giant black spot where my grass used to be. FML

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Cassafrass - 28/06/2016 15:12 - United States - Sevierville

Today, I woke up to my husband nuzzling my arm in his sleep. It would have been very sweet had he not been nuzzling directly into the injection site of the tetanus shot I had to get due to a softball sized infection on my other arm. Now both arms are in agony. FML

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astrodick - 28/06/2016 15:10 - United States - Harrisburg

Today, this group of girls asked if i could flex my six pack for them and while doing so i farted really loudly and it smelled so bad. On the bright side atleast i know why my stomach was hurting. Fml

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Bishdontkillmychive - 28/06/2016 15:06 - Australia

Today, whilst in bed with my girlfriend naked, she reached down, grabbed my balls and yanked up. She thought it was the blanket. FML

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softie - 28/06/2016 15:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, after struggling with Erectile dysfunction I finally got an erection while my wife was home, she wasn't in the mood until after I had gone soft again. FML

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frustrated_friend - 28/06/2016 14:41 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my friend who I let move in so he wouldn't be homeless has now missed his 4th shift. he's only had this job a week. . . .FML

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Winterbelle - 28/06/2016 14:32 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I'm on my first vacation to Disneyland. Today my parents also called me to tell me my dog died. FML

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Tengoku - 28/06/2016 14:20 - United States - Gallipolis

Today, I realized I'm madly in love with my best friend. Too bad she's currently married to my boss.... FML

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Anonymous - 28/06/2016 14:10 - Finland

Today, I came back from a 2 week vacation to find out my dad and stepmother divorced. She took the washing machine and I have no clean clothes left. FML

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anonomousy - 28/06/2016 14:10 - Canada - Mackenzie

Today, my stepmother told me that she and my dad won't be coming to my wedding unless her foster children are in my wedding party. The wedding is in a week. fml.

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Adonis0 - 28/06/2016 13:52 - Australia - Shailer Park

Today, I woke up to find out I had a violent dream last night. At least that's what I'm inferring from my dislocated jaw FML

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fluffycorns - 28/06/2016 13:45 - Australia - Fitzroy

Today, I was laying down and the ball of my lip piercing was loose and it went down my throat, I had no other choice but to swallow it. FML

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tobuscus9412 - 28/06/2016 11:37

Today, I "accidentally" kissed another girl while wasted at a party. My friend convinced me being honest was the right thing to do, so I told my girlfriend. She broke up with me on the spot. FML

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themrman - 28/06/2016 09:35 - United States - Boise

Today, I walked in on my boss and coworker having sex, I don't know whether I should ask for a raise or resign. FML

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anonymous - 28/06/2016 07:08 - United States - Montgomery

Today, I found out at the ripe age of 24, I may never have children due to what my doctor said were "weird circumstances." FML

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this little piggy - 28/06/2016 05:15 - United States - Lafayette

Today, after we put our toddler to sleep, me and my husband decided to get intimate, mid performance, my husband say something is touching my feet, come to find out, our son woke up got out of his crib and decide to tickle daddy's feet that were hanging over the bed.

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minissaussette - 28/06/2016 05:15 - France - Cergy

Today, my boyfriend once again accused me of cooking food with too much fat, making him gain 35 lbs in 3 years. He was ranting while eating chips and pasta because he had refused to eat the vegetables I cooked. FML

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MessedUp - 28/06/2016 04:42 - United States - Modesto

Today, despite being in a dead marriage, I realized the only reason I'm not leaving my husband is because I love my mother-in-law so much. FML

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Anonymous - 28/06/2016 04:25 - Malaysia - Ipoh

Today, as a dentist, I was performing simple tooth extraction when I realized that the X-ray was flipped the wrong way the whole time. I had to lie to the patient that the tooth that I accidently extracted needed to go as well. FML

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my wife told me the main reason she married me is because I have a cool last name. FML

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Today, I phoned my bank. The person wouldn't speak to me about my account as I "sound female" despite being a year 30-old-male. They had to get a supervisor and listen to recordings of past calls to believe me. This isn't the first time I've been mistaken for a girl on the phone. FML

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Today, my boyfriend came to my work, at a drive thru, in my car, and then got mad at me because I wouldn't give him free food. In his anger, he put my car in reverse and backed out of line very quickly, only to smash into a paying customer. FML

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Today, while I was explaining my troubles to my therapist, he asked me, "And don't you have someone you can tell all that?" FML

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Today, a passing by bird managed to poop through my car's sunroof and onto the center console. FML

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Today, I went to a baseball game with my wife. During intermission, the kiss cam chose my wife and me. So, what do you expect, I kissed her, but she decided to slap me and pretend she didn't know me. FML

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