Your everyday life stories

smooooth - 29/07/2016 23:37 - United States - Halethorpe

Today, a cute boy invited me to stop by the ice cream place he works at to say hi. When I got there, I hit another car while trying to park. He saw the whole thing.

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hales90 - 29/07/2016 23:32

Today, after more than a week of backbreaking work, problems, and complications involving re-sanding my hardwood floors, I got the last layer of polyurethane down to dry. I opened the door to leave the house and my dog ran in and all over the floors, leaving paw prints. FML

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MetallicSkeleton - 29/07/2016 23:08 - United States - Chicago

Today, my girlfriend found my birth control pills and thinks I'm cheating. I'm on them to make my periods less painful and to prevent myself from vomiting uncontrollably on my period. I'm also a lesbian. FML.

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Anonymous - 29/07/2016 23:03 - United States

Today, I found my phone that I lost two weeks ago. This wouldn't be bad if I hadn't just bought a new phone yesterday. FML

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Lobat_Wang - 29/07/2016 23:01 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, while walking down the stairs I had a friend shoving my backpack. I turned around and told him "Stop pushing me or I'm going to fall down the stairs." He stopped, and I proceeded to fall down the stairs. FML

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fishinpink - 29/07/2016 22:44

Today, my roommate clogged the toilet while I was gone and didn't fix it. The other one didn't pay the light bill. No a/c + hours of poop stench = a nightmare. It took 6 hours for the light company to turn the power back on. It's 94° with a heat index of 105° today. FML

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taroschain - 29/07/2016 22:32 - United States - Atlanta

Today I did the impossible and found something that can shock hardened subway riders. Unfortunately, it was me having a panic attack in a crowded train car. FML

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SwitchHunter - 29/07/2016 22:31 - Japan

Today, I'm visiting Japan. My family lives in a not so tall house in Tokyo. I woke up, hit my head on a ceiling. Twice. FML.

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gottapaythebills - 29/07/2016 22:18 - Serbia - Belgrade

Today my girlfriend broke up with me because I didn't get the job I interviewed for. Then I found out I passed the interview with flying colors at a different company. Where my now ex-girlfriend works. FML.

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beingsickispoo - 29/07/2016 22:17

Today, after days of suffering with a lung infection making me constantly cough, after having barely slept for three nights. I spoke to my doctor, he advised to take throat sweets just before I sleep. Good news slept for 4 hours, bad news my mouth is covered in ulcers from their sugar content. FML

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Ry - 29/07/2016 22:14

Today, I went out to eat with my sister, her boyfriend and my two little sisters. it was a buffet. The check said 2 adults and 3 children. The age cut off for being a child is 10 years old. I'm an 18 year old man. FML.

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uggggh - 29/07/2016 22:07

Today, I spent my afternoon making an amazing dinner to be ready for my family when they got home from work. I had it all done and they walk through the door with pizza. all they said was, 'oh, we can have that tomorrow I guess FML

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Dakota1458 - 29/07/2016 22:00

Today, I spent days making a beautiful clay rose for my girlfriend at camp to have my mom hold onto it for 2 minutes and break it. I thought I could still fix and asked her to be more careful and it's now in 10 pieces and my girlfriends expecting a fun time painting a rose together.

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nofriendsgal - 29/07/2016 21:58

Today, I'm visiting home after a year abroad. Since I have a limited time and wanted to meet with all my friends before I leave again I organised a huge party for them. Most of them cancelled. The rest didn't show up. Fml

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Guido745 - 29/07/2016 21:50 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I saw the extent of my depression as every teacher on my report card described me as sad and subdued, except one who said I was always happy and smiling, my chemistry teacher who when I'm with makes me feel happy and with whom I'm desperately in love with. I'm 16, she's 32 & married. FML

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Betty - 29/07/2016 21:44 - United States - Bristol

Today, I saw someone posting the MLS of a house her family intends to buy. Prior to this, she let everyone know that she intends to buy a new car when she "nails the job" for which she has been interviewing. I'm pretty sure it's the same job to which I applied and interviewed. FML

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Guido745 - 29/07/2016 21:40 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I decided to attempt to relieve myself from my crippling depression by reading through the top FMLs and thinking to myself, well it could be worse, but instead I ended up reminding myself of the frequent ones that already happened to me, it seems I have the bad luck of numerous people. FML

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muffledpotato - 29/07/2016 21:39 - United States - Canton

Today, I went to the doctors and found out that I wouldn't be growing anymore. I'm only 4'9 and this was after she had specifically told me I would have a large growth spurt later in life. Her response? "Eh, sorry." FML

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poopymonster - 29/07/2016 21:27 - Israel - Rishon Le Zion

Today, I went to meet my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I clogged the toilet and her mom had to help me unclog it and clean it up. FML

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HondaLover97 - 29/07/2016 21:16 - United States - Minot Afb

Today my computer decided to crash on me after 6 hours of work on a school project. Somehow the file itself got corrupted. FML

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soclose - 29/07/2016 21:10 - United States - Union

Today, I was excited about finally getting approved for 150$/week of unemployment (since nobody will hire me despite me having a Master's degree.) Then I learned my ex is leaving his gf and quitting his job and will not be paying the 157$/week in child support. And my kids lose health insurance. FML

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FMLFreakShow - 29/07/2016 21:00 - United States - Saint Joseph

Today, we watched a "porno" in class. The said "porno" was my Teacher's sextape. FML.

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Anonymous - 29/07/2016 20:59 - United Kingdom - Dunfermline

Today, due to the demands of my job I was having a well needed nap, my concerned boyfriend woke me up after 4 hours just to check if I planned on cooking his dinner. fml.

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FMLFreakShow - 29/07/2016 20:50 - United States - Saint Joseph

Today, my boyfriend told me to call him "Daddy". I usually don't do this, but I played along. Turns out "Daddy" Is what his "Ex" girlfriend called him. I found out when he told me I sound and look like her. FML.

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Whoops - 29/07/2016 20:45

Today, I tried to text my boyfriend about how much I missed him and what I'd like to do with him once he's back. I accidentally sent it to his dad. FML

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Crappie - 29/07/2016 20:45 - Netherlands

Today, both my new boyfriend and my best friend happen to stay overseas for the next month. They seem to like eachother a lot. Meanwhile, I'm at home sorting my cat into a Hogwarts house. FML

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NearlyHomeless - 29/07/2016 20:44

Today, my wife and i took possession of our first house. The neighbors apparently had a problem with the previous owners and don't think we'll be any different. They keep taking things from our yard and hiding them in drainage ditches nearby. We basically can't live there. FML

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sincerelyupset - 29/07/2016 20:41 - United States - Snohomish

Today, I had an important interview at 1pm. Working late the previous night I set a noon alarm. My phone decided that it was necessary to install an update 10 minutes before my alarm was supposed to go off. I missed my interview. FML

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Ace - 29/07/2016 20:34

Today, I was blowing a bubble with some bubble gum, when I accidentally burped into it. Without thinking, I put the bubble back into my mouth and popped it. FML

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a single guy - 29/07/2016 19:10 - United States - Westfield

Today, I was hanging out with some friends. Instead of getting food, the other single guy and I waited as the 3 couples cuddled the whole time. I essentially wasted 4 hours of my life to remind myself that I'm single. FML

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Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, after fasting for 24 hours and drinking 2 buckets of laxatives, my doctor's office notified me that my colonoscopy had been cancelled. I'd just finished the prep by taking the fart pills, and now have the cleanest colon ever. A lot of time spent on the toilet that I’ll never get back though. FML

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Today, I finally removed my car insurance after realizing it costs too much money. Since I then had more money, I went to celebrate with ice cream. On the way, I got hit by a truck. FML

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Today, after 6 dentist visits, 2 root canals, and $1,500 that I'll likely have to sell vital organs to pay, the agonizing tooth pain I've had for months is unrelenting. Apparently, shrugging and offering to experimentally yank all my bottom teeth is my smurf-shit of a dentist's actual plan. FML

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Today, I was at the beach with my parents, and I went for a swim in the sea. I got out and my parents started laughing their asses off. It wasn't until my dad pulled a condom out of my hair that I realized what they were laughing at. My dad even took a picture. FML

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Today, I was trying to fall asleep. Unfortunately, my next-door neighbor's baby began to cry. I closed the window and rolled over, unable to hear the crying anymore. My dog's hearing is better than mine, and so he started barking. Goodbye, good night's sleep. FML

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Today, I decided to watch a movie I hadn't seen before to bring my spirits up, as I've been feeling down lately. How did the movie end? Everybody died. FML

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