Health

OP here. It was inconsiderate of me to use the treadmill in an upstairs apartment. Mine isn't very loud and I know the neighbor wasn't asleep, but I still should have thought of the noise. I was very embarrassed, but it is being taken care of and they weren't upset. They just asked me to move the treadmill to another room. I am a small woman-114lbs- I just thought it was funny imagining that I made the whole building shake.

Get out

By Lennyr - 28/08/2016 06:36 - United States - Union City

Today, I gave birth to my firstborn child. Somehow, my mom and mother-in-law made their way to the delivery room, and walked in mid-push. While they were escorted out, I overheard my mother-in-law asking the nurse how her son, my husband, was holding up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 589

You deserved it 1 106

By nes0385 - 27/08/2016 16:06 - United States - San Antonio

Today, after months of eating lunch with my best friend, going to Barnes and Noble, and having to poop while I was there, I realized I've trained myself to have to poop every single time I step into a Barnes and Noble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 889

You deserved it 2 065

nes0385 tells us more.

nes0385 5

Monday 29 August 2016 19:13

OP here! I so didn't think this was going to make it! But I loved reading all your comments! And yes I do read FML while I'm doing my business at Barnes and Noble lol

By Anonymous - 24/08/2016 14:26

Today, I woke up to my husband's face. That'd be nice if he hadn't turned his eyelids inside out, waiting to scare me. I was scared alright. So scared that I pissed myself and broke my side table falling out of bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 301

You deserved it 1 468

By CyberPsycho - 19/08/2016 20:57 - United States - Nashville

Today, a pharmacist slut-shamed me for taking birth control. I'm still a virgin, and I only take those pills to help with my acne and period cramps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 890

You deserved it 1 219

CyberPsycho tells us more.

CyberPsycho 21

Sunday 21 August 2016 1:12

UPDATE: I called the manager and told him about my encounter. He wants me to come talk to him about it further but I'll admit that I'm still kind of embarrassed to go back to that store....

By AlexB - 19/08/2016 07:01 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Today, in an effort to try and get fit, I was doing yoga on my carpet when my foot slipped. It went under my radiator, which peeled the skin off my heel like peeling a potato. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 411

You deserved it 1 461

By ArtistBlock - 17/08/2016 07:54 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I spent nearly seven hours clearing out our storage room in order to transform it into my art studio. Things were going great until I tweaked my back. At least from my stationary position in bed I have a perfect view of the table I can't work at for the next 2 to 4 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 197

You deserved it 1 383

STOOOOP

By Patoose - 16/08/2016 20:54 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I had surgery done to fix an ingrown toenail. When the doctor started cutting the nail, my toe wasn't entirely numb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 920

You deserved it 1 437

By hannax - 16/08/2016 17:26 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, I was spending the night at my fiancé's house. He knew my period was about to start, so he asked if he needed to put a tarp down on the bed. He was dead serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 347

You deserved it 1 721

Assumptions

By Epithymia - 15/08/2016 15:09 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I went to the chiropractor for a check up. She was going through some of the ways to help my posture and mentioned something that I've never heard before. My fat ass thought it was a type of food. Turns out it was a sports routine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 639

You deserved it 3 012

I hate it here

By ElaborateScheme - 14/08/2016 20:52 - United States - Palm Beach Gardens

Today, I was feeling a little bored so I decided to go outside for once. Living in Florida is nice and all, except for the fact that right now I'm putting ice over two snake bites. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 854

You deserved it 1 179

By heck - 12/08/2016 13:57

Today, I took a drug test. Not only did I fail the drug test, but I mostly missed the sample cup and got urine all over my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 160

You deserved it 18 550

By cheeseless - 11/08/2016 20:47 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I sprained my wrist while trying to grate a block of frozen cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 495

You deserved it 3 913

By hamburglar - 11/08/2016 18:46 - United States - Irving

Today, I ordered two double cheeseburgers from McDonald's and asked for one of them without pickles so they would think I was ordering for two people. Both burgers were for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 535

You deserved it 8 522

Hi there little guy

By NotAGoodDay - 10/08/2016 18:57 - United Kingdom - Sudbury

Today, I had severe constipation. I went to get some more laxatives when I felt something fall onto the top of my head. I reached up to see what it was and it turned out to be quite a large spider. Guess who isn't constipated anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 670

You deserved it 1 139

By Anonymous - 10/08/2016 14:10 - Serbia - Pancevo

Today, I was told I'll need a hysterectomy. I'm barely 22. My doctor said "You probably wanted kids, huh? That's gonna be rough!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 933

You deserved it 1 415

By ChubbyPanda - 08/08/2016 22:49

Today, after not moving at work all day, I decided to be healthy and walk home. Now my thighs are numb from rubbing together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 856

You deserved it 3 631

By AlmightyVoice - 07/08/2016 11:38 - United States - Rochester

Today, I attempted to bleach the little hairs above my lip. I had it on for about 15 seconds. Turns out that the horrible stinging that I had felt meant that it was not just working, but also eating through my skin at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 514

You deserved it 3 828

AlmightyVoice tells us more.

AlmightyVoice 13

Monday 8 August 2016 23:03

Hi OP here! No this was not my first experience with bleaching my upper lip. I have done it many times before but with a different product. I had my friend do it also with me and hers did not end up like mine. Every time I had done it before it had stung so I figured that it was just doing its job but I guess my skin was just very sensitive to the brand I had. Good news is that everything is good now and I will just go back to using the kind I had before. Also the only reason I decided on not shaving or anything else was because I do not want the hair growing in darker or thicker:)

By Anonymous - 03/08/2016 18:50 - Canada - London

Today, even though I'm overweight, I was feeling alright about the way I looked in the historical costume I'm required to wear by my job. A little kid came in and asked me if I was having a baby. Guess I don't look as good as I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 719

You deserved it 1 421

Trauma

By SkipLegDay - 03/08/2016 08:48 - New Zealand - Palmerston North

Today, my untrained legs have been traumatised by the sudden regime of squats, mountain climbers and lunges I have been putting them through. I literally just have to trust-fall back onto the toilet and hope for the best, because my legs don't have the strength to support the gradual descent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 429

You deserved it 3 324

Out of it

By damn you Ambien - 03/08/2016 05:48 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I woke up to an angry and threatening email from a porn company. Apparently, I took a sleeping pill last night and wrote a nasty email to the company about how they mistreat women. The best part is that I used a web contact form instead of an email, so I have absolutely no idea what I wrote. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 405

You deserved it 2 811

Feel this FML

By Anonymous - 30/07/2016 17:45 - Mexico - Saltillo

Today, I now know how it feels to have a splinter of wood hammered a full inch underneath your fingernail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 709

You deserved it 1 053

By Checkpoint96 - 30/07/2016 16:25 - Australia - Victoria Point

Today, it's the fourth day in a row that I've been kept awake by my grandmother's snoring. I want to be pissed off, but she has sleep apnea, and I feel guilty for even wanting her to shut the hell up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 611

You deserved it 1 280

Checkpoint96 tells us more.

Checkpoint96 10

Monday 1 August 2016 8:10

Hi, OP here. Thank you all for your suggestions, I have not mentioned to her that her snoring keeps me awake, as I think that would be rude, especially as she can not do much about it. For all those telling me that I should tell her, or that it is fatal, she knows she has it, and she is also aware that it is fatal, as is my entire family. She is just one of those people who stubbornly refuses to get treated for anything, as 'it can't possibly be that bad'. My family and I have talked to her about getting a CPAP machine, but as I mentioned before, she stubbornly refuses to do anything about it.

By Jacqueline H'ghar - 30/07/2016 08:56 - New Zealand

Today, I missed my bus to the doctor's office for my scheduled pap test. I was so desperate, I called my deadbeat mom to ask for a ride. She said "Virgins don't need pap tests", laughed, then hung up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 873

You deserved it 1 141

By BoboCracker - 29/07/2016 23:03 - United States - Laguna Hills

Today, I have an ear infection. I was resting outside when my young neighbor flew his RC plane right into my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 150

You deserved it 1 290

BoboCracker tells us more.

BoboCracker 21

Sunday 31 July 2016 2:25

Op here, thanks for the funny comments, I'm here to clear up a few things. No, the whole plane didn't go into my ear, the nose got stuck and broke off. I eventually pulled it out, but it still hurt like hell.