For science! - FML

For science!

By Anonymous - 04/03/2026 12:00

Spicy

Today, my husband insisted a man can orgasm without cumming if he just clenches hard enough, so of course he went ahead and tried. He got such a powerful cramp in his groin, he shat himself on our cream carpet. Then as I tried to help, he came anyway, right into my fucking eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 83

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Same thing different taste

Let it all out

By Anonymous - 20/08/2021 20:01

Spicy

Today, my husband shit himself a little during sex, but tried to keep going because he was "so close" and didn’t want to ruin the orgasm. I, of course, shoved him away but it was already down my leg and had stained our cream bedsheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 538

You deserved it 204

Chemical warfare

By Danielle Heichelbech - 08/11/2020 08:02 - United States

Today, my 28-year-old husband lifted one cheek, strained so hard I thought he'd shat himself, and screamed, "Fire one!" as he released from his ass a stench so awful all my eyebrows and eyelashes are now permanently curly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 997

You deserved it 171

By countryblumpkin - 01/08/2013 18:06 - United States - Grand Rapids

Spicy

Today, my husband begged me to go down on him while he sat on the toilet, taking a crap. He tried to convince me that we'd both somehow experience mind-blowing orgasms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 127

You deserved it 7 172

By naughtymommy0317 - 20/06/2013 08:47 - United States

Spicy

Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 153

You deserved it 5 932

The heat of the moment

By righthook - 08/04/2015 19:56 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 919

You deserved it 8 670

Really into it

By Anonymous - 08/11/2023 22:00

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my partner and we got very into it. I went to wrap my hand around his neck and somehow accidentally poked my finger in his eye socket so hard he ended up in emergency. He still can’t see properly out of that eye now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 261

By Anonymous - 04/01/2016 06:59 - United States - Atwater

Spicy

Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 644

You deserved it 2 710

Overdoing it a bit

By Anonymous - 12/11/2022 16:00

Spicy

Today, I masturbated so hard I got a cramp in my forearm muscle so unexpectedly that my hand spasmed, slipped off my penis, and I punched myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 1 212

By spaceavery - 24/09/2016 04:53 - United States - Gresham

Spicy

Today, I was having amazing sex with my husband. When he blew his load, he also blew something else - a giant glob of snot, directly at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 308

You deserved it 1 592

By Anonymous - 05/12/2013 19:10 - United Kingdom - Washington

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when I got a sudden agonising cramp in my foot. I cried out in pain, but he didn't stop. If anything, my cries of pain seemed to spur him on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 745

You deserved it 8 792

Next

Top comments

idragosani 15

Friday 6 March 2026 15:56

wow what an idiot

mr.DiddyEpsteen 3

Wednesday 4 March 2026 18:07

photos or it never happened

Comments

mr.DiddyEpsteen 3

Wednesday 4 March 2026 18:07

photos or it never happened

sirrubberduckie 36

Thursday 5 March 2026 4:17

Well, it's certainly possible, but it's not exactly easy.

idragosani 15

Friday 6 March 2026 15:56

wow what an idiot

BurnInDemonFire 35

Tuesday 10 March 2026 0:35

Dude came and went at the same time. But not in the way that joke usually implies.

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Today, my fiancé received his divorce papers. Thanks to his procrastinating, his divorce is effective May 29th. We're supposed to get married on May 28th. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 410

You deserved it 5 339

Today, my kids made a mess in the kitchen while trying to make breakfast in bed for me. The mess was bigger than the breakfast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 718

You deserved it 216

Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he started humping my leg and said, "I'm gonna hump the fatness out of you and make you beautiful." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 354

You deserved it 450

Today, my ex-boyfriend announced he was engaged. We broke up last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 683

You deserved it 1 726

Today, I saw a letter from Geneseo that invited me to apply to the honors college. Excited, I wrote the required two page essay on how I am organized. I then saw the strict deadline was March 15th. My little brother thought it would be funny to hide my mail. For the past seven weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 965

You deserved it 3 413

Today, I went off for a jog. Outside, I saw my really cute neighbour, so in an effort to appear fit, I accelerated and kept my head up. As I got close, I smiled at him, just as a huge fly flew right up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 004

You deserved it 4 578