Work

OP here. First submission got posted :) there is no HR to talk to as there was only me, the owner and another coworker and we all got along just fine. I do have Resting Bitch Face but I'm aware of it and consciously smile to make up for it. I also did not have a bad attitude. The worst part was that I was still training so I haven't had time to meet the requirements of the job or not. Oh well, she was a flaky boss anyway. But she said she'd give me a good reference.

Mismanagement

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my boss changed some company calendar settings on my computer to see what they'd be like. He didn't like it, so he told me to change it back, then left. I have no idea what he changed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 523

You deserved it 3 800

By Mr. E - 14/11/2018 17:30

Today, as I was teaching my 10th grade biology honors class, a student came in with a dead frog and asked if we could dissect it. He tried to toss it to me and missed, so it landed in a girl's lap. She threw up all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 924

You deserved it 203

Celebrate!

By Anonymous - 02/10/2025 20:00

Today, I bought some party poppers to surprise my roommate to celebrate her recent promotion. I pulled one the strings too early, in the lobby of our building. A hundred tiny paper stars rained down while my neighbor, who had just spilled her grocery bag out of fright as she entered the building, yelled at me like I was a lunatic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 434

By bshoemaker45601 - 08/06/2016 20:57 - United States - Circleville

Today, I got a job at a casino where I was actually planning on spending my 21st birthday next month. After they hired me, they told me no employees are allowed to play or gamble on or off the clock, for as long as they are employed there, or termination will immediately follow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 344

You deserved it 3 551

NDA FML

By Anonymous - 12/11/2021 16:00 - United States - Corpus Christi

Today, a coworker told me something I didn't realize was confidential, until later when my boss called me, saying someone may have shared something confidential with me, and me, not thinking so, said I don't think anyone did. We hung up, they called back and elaborated, and it dawned on me now they think I'm a liar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 861

You deserved it 185

By jaym42013 - 22/07/2016 19:29 - United States - Clovis

Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had to stop at Starbucks to get my boss a drink. His son, who is at least 30 minutes late to work every day, was just walking in as I was walking out with all of my stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 915

You deserved it 1 126

Crossroads

By Work Horse - 27/05/2023 06:00

Today, while having the most stressful work week ever, it's also the first time I’ve seen my ex since she dumped me about a month ago. She’s happy and ecstatic; I’m stressed out and still semi heart broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 737

You deserved it 141

By Anonymous - 25/08/2019 04:04

Today, while at work, I was trying to locate the source of the really bad BO wafting around, when I realized I'd forgotten to put on deodorant this morning. I have 5 hours of shame left to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 356

You deserved it 879

By Anonymous - 12/06/2013 02:12 - United States

Today, my mother came into my workplace to wail on me for "ruining our family's reputation" because I got a girl pregnant. I've been married to the "girl" for 8 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 330

You deserved it 3 323

By grosstoenail - 13/07/2016 05:04 - Canada - Courtice

Today, while I selling merch at a festival, a volunteer lost her toenail. Not only did she immediately show me, but she then took a picture and showed everyone coming up to my station. I lost sales because she wouldn't leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 356

You deserved it 1 048

Toxic assholes

By Anonymous - 12/03/2025 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I overheard some gossip and learned I’m apparently the department weirdo everybody tolerates, but don’t actually like. It’s like high school all over again. Now, everywhere I go, I can feel my coworkers tolerating me just for being myself. I’ve already cried 3 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 598

You deserved it 154

Let me out

By Anonymous - 23/05/2024 07:00 - United States - Fairfield

Today, I found out that shorts are inappropriate to wear in the office. If it wasn't the staff-wide meeting or my coworker telling me to change, I've been sitting in the back praying it's time to clock out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 605

By outofajob - 08/07/2011 05:10 - United States

Today, after not receiving my paycheck for over a month, I confronted my boss about it. His response? "You still work here?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 780

You deserved it 3 898

By disgruntled - 09/12/2015 15:01

Today, my boss is writing me up for not signing a report before I left work. He refused to print the report that day, and I don't have access to the printers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 324

You deserved it 1 522

**** this pandemic

By Anonymous - 07/02/2021 11:01 - Canada - Mirabel

Today, working from home and to escape my own toddler, I moved my work area into the bedroom. Perfect timing for the neighbor's toddler to scream at the top of his lungs. All day long, underneath my bedroom. I just wanted some peace and quiet to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 135

Running

By Anonymous - 18/11/2021 08:00 - United States - Yorktown

Today, I'm a teacher and was diagnosed with a sinus infection and UTI. The doctor warned me the two antibiotics may cause the runs. My doctor was right, they did, during class. I made it to the bathroom, did the deed, only to find out there was no toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 998

You deserved it 93

By justgivemethed - 25/04/2013 07:55 - United States - Westminster

Today, I was tutoring a band member. Whenever I ask him to play a D or any D scale, he stops just to snicker and say, "Ha ha. D." He still sucks. I hate his guts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 882

You deserved it 5 567

Run!

By Anonymous - 11/05/2024 14:00 - Hungary - Budapest

Today, we had a family day at my new job. I used to have a very abusive boss in my previous position, who even slapped one co-worker across the face in the office, prompting me to quit. Guess who turns out to be my new manager's wife… FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 88

Sticky

By Anonymous - 13/11/2021 06:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, while at work, I was driving a manual car for the third time ever. I managed to stall it and jolt forward, bumping the horn at the same time in front of a group of people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 244

By Anonymous - 04/09/2015 21:56 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boss called me to say that I've been slow at work this week and that I will be replaced if I don't pick up the pace. That would be understandable, if I didn't have a broken ankle and pneumonia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 167

You deserved it 1 633

i'm not paid enough for this shit (and piss)

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I was informed by my manager at work that there had been an "accident" in the playground. I then had to crawl through tunnels designed for 5 year-olds, to a tiny playroom with no fresh air, and clean up a stupid kid's pee and crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 764

You deserved it 3 479

By bakergirl - 16/11/2009 10:40 - Australia

Today, my boss made me wear reindeer antlers to promote the Christmas spirit. There are still 5 weeks till Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 068

You deserved it 3 987

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I finally exchanged pictures with the woman I've been seeing online for some time now. She replied, saying "Thats not funny. Some people actually look like that." I sent my real picture, and thought I actually looked pretty good in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 336

You deserved it 7 058

Today, my mother got incredibly drunk. She told me that only "sluts and whores" shave their pubes. She then told me that she's never once trimmed or shaved her pubes, because she's "moral." Thanks for that mental image, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 890

You deserved it 3 140

Today, the jackoffs at my new job kept making jokes about my prosthetic leg. When I finally lost my shit and told one of them to back off, he said "Woah there, Mr Pistorius!" then said he'll avoid using the restroom now in case I decide to shoot him through the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 083

You deserved it 1 904

Today, I defended the dried up things in the cup noodles as being real vegetables, just so that it would appear that I do actually eat vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 413

You deserved it 24 085

Today, the woman I’ve loved, cared for, and nursed through cancer, left me for her ex since he wants to get married and I don’t. I didn’t know that a piece of paper and a white dress mean more than unconditional love and support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 577

Today, I'm pretty sure my husband of 8 years is sleeping with the skank who's in the fire department with him. Out of nowhere, he started texting her and wouldn’t come home until 12:30 a.m. for a whole week. When I confronted him about it, he flipped out. Sadly, it won’t be the first marriage she’s ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 293

You deserved it 199