Money

Masking off

By Anonymous - 27/10/2024 06:00 - United States - Belton

Today, I moved in with my parents because I can't afford to live on my own. I now pay 100% of the bills and can't leave because I can't save to replace my stolen/totaled car. I also can't drop my mask at home because 33 is apparently to old to be autistic, and I'm so tired and burnt out. I'm also not allowed to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 585

You deserved it 154

Gold digger

By Anonymous - 27/08/2024 00:00 - France - Lyon

Today, my boyfriend send me a text to inform me that his mother had told him that I was only with him for his money, which he got from his dad's will… even though we were already together at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 78

You snooze, you lose

By Anonymous - 29/06/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a dealership for a new car. We were halfway through paperwork when the manager informed me I wouldn’t be buying the S Class, but I would be buying a Nissan Micra. Turns out my wife fell asleep in the car, allowing our son to escape and draw smiley faces on the Nissan with a rock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 282

Broke

By Anon - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Stony Point

Today, I spotted a $100 bill on the ground. Being a little strapped for cash, I excitedly picked it up. I discovered it was one of those religious tract papers made to look like a folded bill, with a message scolding me for being greedy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 467

You deserved it 4 967

Loan shark

By Anonymous - 21/05/2022 14:00

Today, my manager did that thing where he gave me a performance-based bonus last month, but deducted the bonus from this months pay. He didn’t even try to hide it, it said in plain English "Amount deducted for previous performance bonus." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 210

You deserved it 86

FOR SALE

By Only me - 07/04/2025 22:00 - France

Today, on the advice of a girl from sales, I sent a company-wide email with the subject line, "FOR SALE - 2010 Toyota Camry." I realized the social faux pas a minute later when my department head replied-to-all, "FOR SALE - half eaten sandwich." Now everyone thinks I’m a dumbass for confusing company emails for Craigslist, and for believing anyone who works in sales. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 543

By SarahNB - 01/03/2014 21:09 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, after paying at the gas station, the cashier stuck out her hand, which was clenched into a fist. I thought she wanted a fist-bump, so I gave her one. She just stared back at me. Turns out she was just trying to give me my change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 075

You deserved it 16 623

With friends like these…

By dpimente - 17/12/2020 11:05

Today, I checked my bank account online and noticed two checks that I didn't write had gone through, so I got copies of them and recognized the handwriting. It was my best friend's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 317

You deserved it 71

Welcome to late stage capitalism

By Anonymous - 25/10/2023 08:00

Today, my manager denied our entire team the measly 2% raise he'd promised us months ago because it’s "not in the budget." Coincidentally, all the managers' free company cars were just upgraded from 10 year-old luxury Range Rovers to 2023 Mercedes and BMWs, due to record company profits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 035

You deserved it 91

Bills bills bills

By Anonymous - 24/05/2022 12:00

Today, my dad snooped at my payslip and now he keeps calling me a tight cunt who should contribute more. This from the man who smokes 50 a day but hasn’t had full-time employment since 2009. Plus I pay rent, and the gas and electric when he can’t afford to, which is every month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 106

By thankspops - 29/09/2010 23:04 - United States

Today, I found out that the $200 a week I was paying my dad for my car insurance and payment, wasn't actually paying my insurance and car payment. How did I find out he wasn't paying? Repo man took my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 675

You deserved it 3 342

The sunk cost fallacy

By Stephanie - 02/10/2022 20:00

Today, I finally got over my ex and his past of constant lying/cheating/manipulation in our relationship. Only… I'm still living in his house with all of my stuff and my cat, because I've already paid him my half of his mortgage for the next two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 857

You deserved it 269

Such a Jerry thing to do...

By Jerry - 19/12/2017 15:00

Today, I woke up and realized I didn't start a fire last night. I live in Alaska and our winter nights can reach -30 below zero. My fish are dead, my plasma television won't turn on, and the cat has frostbite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 621

You deserved it 3 294

Saved

By Harry - 05/12/2009 05:29 - United States

Today, my dad decided to get his friend to help move our old sofa to save money. Its leg got stuck in the doorway, scratched the entire hallway wall, punched a big hole in it, and the other leg made a big dent in our front door. We live in an apartment complex and now have to to pay for everything to be fixed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 260

You deserved it 6 256

This is fine

By Anonymous - 25/11/2023 01:00 - United States - Cerritos

Today, I got another parking ticket because I can't afford a parking pass for the school I attend. I now have over $700 in unpaid parking tickets. I have classes all day from Monday-Thursday. I work Friday-Sunday. They recently cut hours at work. Some days I can't afford to feed myself. My mom said, "Figure it out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 500

Adulting is getting worse

By Anonymous - 13/08/2023 16:00 - Australia

Today, after years of living week to week, I finally got enough money that I could start saving. The universe found out and I got hit with a $2,000, a $300, a $400, and a $800 bill, all within the space of a week. Bye, bye spare money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 118

By Nina - 24/07/2017 23:48

Today, I ordered a vacuum cleaner on Amazon for same-day delivery. When it arrived in the evening I learned the value of reading the description rather than just looking at pictures because it turned out to be a toy vacuum, for a suggested age of two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 215

You deserved it 5 155

Nina tells us more.

Nina 32

Monday 24 July 2017 23:47

Hi-ya folks! First let me just say, I'm super stoked because this is the first FML I've ever had published! Second, the back story is this: when I ordered the vacuum, I had just woken up from a dream I had while on sleeping pills so I was preeeetty drowsy. The dream involved vacuuming which is what inspired the shopping spree to begin with. Since I was so drowsy I was skimming over all the product descriptions and only looking at the pictures and prices and let me tell you: by looking at the photo there is no way to tell it's a toy. It's got a brand and model name on it (Bosch Ergomaxx Professional) and cost 40 euros. I thought I was just getting a good deal. Needless to say, kids toys have come a long way in recent years. It's even functional! Just not quite practical for an adult...

By youshitme - 01/03/2011 12:12 - Australia

Today, I realised how poor I am when I found myself fishing out a two dollar coin someone had left behind in a public toilet bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 517

You deserved it 6 698

youshitme tells us more.

youshitme 9

Thursday 31 March 2011 2:29

Hello all ... I've just seen the comments on this ... There were quite a few comments assuming that since I fished out a 2 buck coin from a dunny, that I'd be an unemployed dole bludger. I've never been on any sort of welfare. The previous comment of Sydney being a very expensive city to live in was correct. I don't earn that much, generally between $700-$1100 a week, depending on how busy work is, but I've never been a 'dole bludger', I work very hard, thank you very much.

Benefits

By Fitz - 05/05/2009 12:22 - United States

Today, I overheard my mother and sister talking so I stopped to eavesdrop. I recently enlisted in the Marines, and they were talking about what they would do with the money if I died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 185 002

You deserved it 14 302

By Joe - 04/08/2011 18:28 - United States

Today, I asked a guy if he could buy me a pack of cigarettes, since I'm still under 18. He took my money, went into the supermarket, and must have slipped out a side-entrance, because he never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 807

You deserved it 126 129

Living my best life

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my electricity went out. The electric company said it was because the bill was at least 4 months overdue. Apparently, I have been paying for my roommate to go out and party for weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 562

You deserved it 4 138

Parenting 101

By butihelppaythebills - 10/10/2022 01:00

Today, I got a tattoo. My mom got upset and threw a bitch fit about how my body "is a temple and it belongs to God.” I told her, “My body, my choice.” She responded with, “Oh really? Well, my house, my choice who lives here. Pack your shit and get the fuck out.” I’m currently in my car with nowhere to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 840

You deserved it 1 374

One each

By Anonymous - 09/02/2021 23:01

Today, my girlfriend was in the back seat of a car with one of my friends when she got sick and puked all over one of his dress shoes. My friend then asked me to replace his shoes, since she is technically unemployed and couldn't pay him back. We eventually agreed that I would pay for one shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 868

You deserved it 251

By Chad - 27/04/2011 01:20 - United States

Today, my wife bought $80 worth of Glee songs on iTunes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 574

You deserved it 10 463

By 7rafe7 - 06/02/2011 07:37 - United States

Today, I learned that standing next to a hobo doesn't make me look better in comparison, but instead just makes me seem like a hobo as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 086

You deserved it 31 080

Company time

By IStillHaveMy8hrShiftToGo - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Beaverton

Today, I came in to work early at a restaurant to help out. I stocked, baked pies for the next day, cleaned and set over 50 tables, and vacuumed the entire two stories. When I went to send an order for the first customer of mine, I realized I hadn't even clocked on. Four and half hours of work wasted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 785

You deserved it 10 942

Favoritism

By Anonymous - 27/04/2022 16:00

Today, my older sister dragged us to a restaurant that charged us $80 a piece for 8 mouthfuls of food. She does this all the time. When our youngest sister defended her, it removed all doubt that our parents still pay her bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 870

You deserved it 150

By jshibbz0993 - 23/11/2011 15:16 - United States

Today, I was complaining to my boyfriend about our excessive water bill. He then says, "Don't look at me, I don't even shower." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 528

You deserved it 6 101

Tipped off

By MicachuPikachu - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Independence

Today, to make it seem like customers actually liked me, I told my coworkers I got tipped $12. Sadly, that "$12 tip" came out of my own pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 374

You deserved it 14 042

Forgive student debt now!

By DebtedToSociety - 07/06/2009 17:54 - United States

Today, I was watching a TV show about people with shopping addictions. One girl was $15,000 in debt and I thought how horrible it would be to live with that. Then I realized that I'm in medical school and currently $135,000 in debt. At least they have something to show for their debt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 142

You deserved it 8 600

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The Top

Today, I couldn't enter my workplace because I haven't gotten the new keycard yet. I ended up having to wait outside for close to an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 150

Today, my dad finally used the electric shaver I bought him for Christmas. My dog now has bald patches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 277

You deserved it 3 481

Today, while at the dog park, I suddenly had to use the bathroom really badly. Since there weren't any facilities nearby, I decided to go behind a tree and relieve myself there. While doing this, two other owners, one who's in my math class, noticed me, despite me trying to hide. She definitely saw everything. School will be fun tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 235

You deserved it 26 441

Today, my fiancée got married. I did not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 842

You deserved it 3 449

Today, I was in a rush to get my lunch for work. I quickly opened my fridge to grab it, and accidentally knocked over a beer, spilling a little on my pants. I told myself I'd spray them in the car. I forgot, and when I got into work, someone sat down and commented that they smelled beer. The person was a student. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 250

Today, my child is so super clingy and needy, I have to sit and watch her bounce on the trampoline attentatively or else face hours and hours of whining. She's like the Screamapillar from the Simpsons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 605

You deserved it 1 512