By aXel - 13/10/2008 08:29 Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML I agree, your life sucks 51 748 You deserved it 8 331 Share Tweet Share
Today, I discovered that I'm adopted. How? After a great lunch, I asked my uncle how he'd made the salad dressing. He replied, "Haha! It's a secret family recipe, my dear!" I wouldn't have thought twice about it, were it not for my parents' shocked expressions, and the long, awkward silence. FML I agree, your life sucks 32 283 You deserved it 2 093
Today, my girlfriend dumped me after I told her I found out I have diabetes. She thought it was an STD and I had cheated on her. So I explained what it really was and she dumped me again because she didn't want her future children to inherit my fucked up DNA. FML I agree, your life sucks 30 730 You deserved it 2 081
Today, I called my girlfriend and she answered telling me how amazing the sex was last night and she can't wait to see me later. I didn't see her last night. FML I agree, your life sucks 101 807 You deserved it 4 976
Today, I saw my ex for the first time since we broke up. We were on a train next to each other for 6 hours, to a festival where our tents were pitched next to each other. We're here for 5 days. FML I agree, your life sucks 26 454 You deserved it 2 415
Today, I had a dream that I was swinging through New York City as my favorite hero, Spider-Man. I was almost immediately beaten to death by a mugger. I suck even in my dreams. FML I agree, your life sucks 10 744 You deserved it 1 096
Today, it was my last day working at my company. The whole staff was summoned to a meeting, but I didn't see the point of going, so I left discreetly. I “discreetly” missed the surprise party that my colleagues had organized for me. FML I agree, your life sucks 350 You deserved it 956