Your everyday life stories

Soap opera

Anonymous - 26/08/2025 23:00 - Australia

Today, the water cut out while I was showering, covered in soap and shampoo. I had to rinse with freezing cold drinking water from the fridge. As soon as I'd dried off, the water supply got restored. FML

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Thanks

Anonymous - 30/08/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I tried to be nice to a cute girl at the café by holding the door open for her. I smiled, leaned on the door frame, and poured my entire cup of coffee down my leg. She still said thanks before walking away. FML

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Talk to me

Anonymous - 31/08/2025 22:00 - Sweden - Agunnaryd

Today, I'm sad. My wife of six years cares very little about my satisfaction. Intimacy is my receiving love language, and while we do have sex sometimes, she wants me to "take" or "use" her. I want to be felt up and be shown I'm wanted, too. FML

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Great housekeeping trap tip

Gnome alone - 04/09/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, my wife tried to prove that I don’t pay attention to anything related to the house by putting a decorative gnome on the table. When I mentioned it, she pointed out that she’d put over 25 gnomes all over the house for the past couple of weeks. I just noticed them today. FML

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Fitness goals

Anonymous - 07/09/2025 16:00 - United States - Warren

Today, under advice from my doctor that I should increase the intensity of my exercises in order to lose weight, I decided to increase the resistance level of the exercise bike I typically use by one, as I could do the previous level easily. My legs got sore after 5 minutes and then I got very sick, so I had to go back. FML

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Keep your chill

Anonymous - 09/09/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I was at the self-checkout scanning groceries quickly. I swiped an item so aggressively that it flew out of my hand, hit another customer’s basket, and knocked over a display of onions. I pretended it wasn’t me, but the onions gave me away by rolling directly to my feet. FML

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Boo!

Repeal2A - 11/09/2025 12:00

Today, I was protesting a newly-opened gun store near my house, demanding safer streets and fewer firearms. My husband and the troglodytes he works with turned up and went inside to browse. Later, he raged at me for embarrassing him in front of his buddies. FML

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Wobbly

Anonymous - 15/09/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I tripped getting on an escalator and instinctively grabbed the nearest person to steady myself. That person was a toddler. The mom screamed, I fell anyway, and the toddler just stared at me like I’d ruined his whole week. FML

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Life comes at you fast

Anonymous - 18/09/2025 15:00

Today, I’m 20, pregnant, and getting a divorce. I asked my soon to be ex why he even bothered marrying me in the first place. He said it’s because his parents “made him.” I can’t believe I’m going to be a pregnant divorcee before I’m even able to legally have my first drink. FML

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A day to remember

Sam - 20/09/2025 09:00

Today, it's my birthday. My grandmother died yesterday. We were close and she basically raised me. FML

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Snuggle

Anonymous - 22/09/2025 03:00

Today, I wanted to surprise my partner by leaving a love letter on his car's windshield while he was at work. He texted me later saying, “You know you left that on my coworker’s car, right?” Now some stranger thinks I want to “snuggle forever.” FML

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Little bundle of fluff

Anonymous - 23/09/2025 22:00

Today, I have concluded that my new girlfriend is a cat. She ignores me 99% of the day, nuzzles me when she does want attention, gets the zoomies randomly twice a day, her snoring legit sounds like she’s purring, and when she gets real mad, she scratches. FML

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Ticking time bomb

Rosa - 27/09/2025 12:00

Today, my ex-boyfriend went "social media official" with another girl. He dumped me less than 24 hours ago for forgetting to get utensils for our takeout. Now I know why he’s been systematically picking fights and getting irrationally angry over minuscule things for the past three months. FML

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Doggy dog world

No way, dog - 01/10/2025 00:00

Today, I bent down to pick up my dog’s mangled tennis ball at the park. At the exact same moment, someone’s Great Dane ran full speed into me from behind, knocking me face-first into the mud. My dog then ran off with another family. FML

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Celebrate!

Anonymous - 02/10/2025 20:00

Today, I bought some party poppers to surprise my roommate to celebrate her recent promotion. I pulled one the strings too early, in the lobby of our building. A hundred tiny paper stars rained down while my neighbor, who had just spilled her grocery bag out of fright as she entered the building, yelled at me like I was a lunatic. FML

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Gushing

NotCream - 04/10/2025 15:00

Today, I've been having persistent fungal infections and was getting treated by a male gynecologist. I had to go in to give vaginal swab tests. I washed and cleaned before I left, but when I got on the doctor's table I already had so much discharge. The doctor asked, "Is it the medicine?" I had to say no. FML

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Walk it off

Anonymous - 08/10/2025 03:00

Today, while helping my wife clean the bathroom, I stepped in a puddle of neat bleach she'd randomly left by the shower door. I washed it off straight away but now an hour later I have burns on the bottom of my foot and can’t put weight on it. FML

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Thanks Dad, but…

Sad cuck - 09/10/2025 22:00

Today, my dad called in a rage, saying he caught my "cheating whore" girlfriend at a bar on a date. I had to admit to him that she and I participate in a cuckold lifestyle. The sheer disgust and disappointment in his voice has been haunting me all day. FML

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Hair today, gone tomorrow

Frankie - 17/10/2025 00:00

Today, I unwittingly told the barber, “Do whatever you think looks best.” He got creative. Forty-five minutes later, I walked out with a haircut that made me look like a backup dancer in a 1990s boy band. My girlfriend said, “You're going to have to wear a beanie if you want to walk around with me.” FML

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BBFs

Anonymous - 19/10/2025 15:00

Today, I was hanging with my lesbian friend, who I am secretly in love with. I bought her flowers, took her out to eat, and we held hands all through dinner. We met up with our friends later and she told them what we did, then said, "Isn't she the best friend ever? I'm so glad I have an honorary sister like her." FML

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Why though?

- 23/10/2025 03:00

Today, my best friend of over 16 years is getting married. I was supposed to be her Maid of Honor. Instead I was uninvited a few weeks ago. FML

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Sexy time

Not such a stud - 24/10/2025 22:00

Today, after a month's-long dry spell, my wife and I finally had sex. It was awkward and terrible, neither of us finished, and she muttered, "I don't know why I missed that" after we gave up. FML

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Unwelcome

Anonymous - 28/10/2025 12:00

Today, for my birthday, my mum got me a puppy. I have never expressed any interest in owning a dog. She insists it’s a thoughtful gift but when I look at it, all I see is a bunch of responsibility, training it, extra bills, smells, taking it for walks, chewed furniture. Bollocks to this. FML

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HSR FML

ZelWinters1981 - 04/11/2025 12:00

Today, I applied for the health and safety representative role at work as an add-on to my role. I convinced a co-worker to put his name down along with mine so I wasn't the only one. He didn't want it so much, and it went to a vote… which I lost. FML

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How the turntables…

- 24/11/2025 00:00

Today, I learned that the girl who severely bullied me in highschool for being a lesbian just came out as a lesbian. FML

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Confuddled

Anonymous - 25/11/2025 20:00

Today, I trusted my husband to take the kids to the park by himself 600 yards from the house so I could get some housework done. He managed to lose one bicycle, three wellies, a glove, and his wallet. I sent him back. It’s been two hours and he’s only found his emptied wallet and one welly. FML

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Make it make sense

Anonymous - 27/11/2025 15:00

Today, I was told it is "fatphobic" to "assume someone's weight is related to their food choices" and that I have a "problematic relationship with food." All because I didn't want to eat a bigger slice of the cake someone brought in at work. FML

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Silver linings, eh?

Take Me With You - 29/11/2025 09:00

Today, I found my sister online after over a year of no contact. Our other sister framed her, getting our parents to kick out and disown her. Her childhood sweetheart and his mom took her in, and is now living a life of luxury with them abroad, while we live off government checks, which BARELY cover bare basics. FML

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Mixology

Anonymous - 01/12/2025 03:00

Today, I tried to act confident at a work mixer by telling a funny story. Halfway through, I gestured too wildly and knocked an entire bowl of pretzels off the table. Everyone watched them scatter across the floor like confetti. I just kept talking. FML

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Keeping up appearances

JaneSimple - 02/12/2025 22:00

Today, just like every other celebratory day (like my anniversary or birthday) I ordered my own Christmas present. My husband doesn't get it. I tried to explain. He openly admits he has no idea what I like and has no interest in learning, but wants me to have something to open so he won't look bad. FML

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I was talking to my fiancé on the phone. I said, "Alright, see you in 10 minutes babe." My boss must have thought I was talking to him because he said, "Alright (my name), see you later." FML

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Today, was very chilly. My little sister felt sorry for my two goldfish swimming in the cold water. She decided to put them in hot water. They died. FML

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Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML

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Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML

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Today, I swerved to miss hitting a kitten, over-corrected, hit and killed the cat, and totaled my truck by hitting a parked car. FML

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Today, I was in the middle of a chemistry exam when I felt an urgent need to fart that was difficult to hold in. I sit in the back, so I tried to do the "One Cheek Sneak." It came out sounding like a loud, obnoxious kazoo. The professor remarked, "No hazardous chemicals outside the lab!" Everyone laughed. FML

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