App

FMyLife

search






FMyLife FMyLife
search
​



    : 320



    The trifecta

    - 18/10/2025 20:00

    Today, trying to battle this addictive social media act, I currently have only one profile with my name or face. In my phone the apps I have are FML, Grindr, and Pokémon Go. FML
    90
    290
      

    Here you go

    Anonymous - 20/10/2025 15:00

    Today, my husband served me divorce papers and an order to grant him temporary custody of our kids. Tomorrow is my birthday. FML
    424
    139
      

    Frisky

    Anonymous - 22/10/2025 09:00

    Today, my mum and dad decided that now I’m 18 they’re not gonna sneak around in their own house anymore. So now, when they’re in the mood, they just run past me giggling, hands all over each other, upstairs, and I can hear them up there. FML
    391
    191
      

    Give me a ring

    Anonymous - 24/10/2025 03:00

    Today, I got home and my girlfriend was wearing the ring I bought last week. Apparently she found it and thought to herself, "Fuck it, we’re engaged now so I’ll just start wearing it", completely bypassing the actual proposal part of getting engaged. I’m actually really mad at her right now. FML
    574
    129
      

    RIP little buddy

    justicia18 - 25/10/2025 22:00

    Today, after I had planned a romantic weekend for my boyfriend and me, with an itinerary of dinner, events and outings, it got cut short when he had to have his cat put down, which he had for 12 years. FML
    439
    77
      

    Dodger

    Abandoned - 29/10/2025 12:00

    Today, I went on a Tinder date that was going surprisingly well. After dinner, she excused herself to the restroom… and never came back. I sat there for 25 minutes before realizing she had texted me: “Sorry, I saw my ex here and panicked. Hope you enjoy the fries.” I did not. FML
    475
    66
      

    Make it happen (RIP)

    Dyne mk.III - 02/11/2025 00:00

    Today, I visited my Grandma to hang out, help with her chores, and read her novels to her. Her friends, who are all around her age were there today too. One of them knew I'm a voice actor, and was requested two things: To read a certain book, 50 Shades of Gray, and to do it in the voice of Gilbert Gottfried. FML
    367
    99
      

    Panic on the number 29

    I tried - 05/11/2025 12:00

    Today, I sneezed on the bus. My AirPods fell out and rolled under the seat of the person in front of me. I awkwardly reached down to grab them just as the bus hit a bump. I accidentally grabbed the person’s ankle instead. FML
    345
    115
      

    Safe travels

    Anonymous - 21/11/2025 12:00

    Today, as I was traveling in Japan, out of boredom in the middle of the night, I downloaded a dating website and was cheated out of over 30,000 yuan, which was equivalent to my monthly salary. FML
    105
    602
      

    Hope

    Anonymous - 25/11/2025 00:00

    Today, after six months of trying, my wife was convinced she was finally pregnant with our first baby, which we put off having for years until we got our careers, savings and house where we needed them. One trip to the doctor's and it’s not pregnancy, it’s early onset menopause at 37. FML
    575
    139
      

    Oh no!

    Anonymous - 30/11/2025 09:00

    Today, I had gotten a Costco style pumpkin pie and whipped cream for Thanksgiving dinner. My mom and stepdad ended up so stuffed from the main course of the dinner that they didn't want the pie. I got that stuff for them specifically. I'll have to eat the pie myself so it doesn't go to waste. FML
    237
    172
      

    DIY

    Jezza - 02/12/2025 03:00

    Today, I tried fixing the squeak in my bedroom door. Instead, I made it dramatically louder. That night, when I sneaked to the kitchen for a snack, the door shrieked like a horror movie prop. My family thought someone broke in. It was just me craving chips. FML
    145
    322
      

    Nature calls

    Anonymous - 03/12/2025 22:00

    Today, I was out hiking when I needed to go pee. I thought no one was there because it isn't popular so I pulled down my pants. I heard footsteps so I pulled my pants back up and kept walking. There were people behind me, and one of them came up and said, "Hey, your undies are showing." I was wearing hot pink ones. FML
    128
    320
      

    Buzzed

    Head Cold - 07/12/2025 12:00

    Today, after I watched my girlfriend get her head shaved in preparation for chemo a few days ago, I took the clippers and buzzed my long, well kept hair, gave her a loving hug, reminding her that, "We're at this together." She later broke up with me because I, pretty much, "look like shit." FML
    552
    113
      

    Little shit

    Tired mommy - 11/12/2025 00:00

    Today, my son asked for candy at a supermarket checkout. I said no. He laid on the floor and began screaming as if I'd killed his pet rabbit. Other parents nodded at me in silent sympathy, while strangers judged me with their glares. I bought the candy. He still screamed. FML
    115
    566
      

    Good luck with that

    - 12/12/2025 20:00

    Today, I got an email from a company that fired me over two weeks ago. It turns out they forgot to download all my work before deleting my account, and they want me to get it back off the cloud. FML
    384
    67
      

    On the twelfth day of Xmas, my true love sent to me…

    Yudith - 14/12/2025 15:00

    Today, it's the twelfth day since I ordered the fittings (which are not sold in hardware stores) needed for one of our tenants' leaking kitchen sink. I received two emails; one that says the package will arrive today, and one that says never mind, the package will arrive in seven weeks. For the tenant, FML
    331
    76
      

    Plans for the weekend?

    Anonymous - 16/12/2025 09:00

    Today, my boyfriend’s soon to be ex-wife was supposed to go on a trip with her sister, so I came over for the weekend while she was gone. She came home saying she’s not going anymore because her sister cancelled. I had to wait inside a hot closet for 4 hours hungry as fuck until I could escape when she was showering. FML
    81
    1 129
      

    Haunted by you

    - 19/12/2025 22:00

    Today, I asked my daughter if we could have a memorial table at her wedding for her baby brother who died 21 years ago. To my horror, she lost her shit at me and screamed she wants “one fucking night” to be about her and “not about him.” FML
    84
    1 632
      

    Make it stop

    Christ on.a bike - 21/12/2025 15:00

    Today, I wore my Christmas sweater to work, one with lights sewn into it. Halfway through a meeting, they started flashing uncontrollably and playing tinny carols. I couldn’t turn them off. I had to go shove the whole sweater into a locker in the basement. FML
    210
    304
      

    I just wanna go home

    Irish goodbyyye - 23/12/2025 09:00

    Today, I tried to leave a rowdy Christmas party early. The apartment door creaked loudly, someone asked where I was going, and suddenly I was explaining my schedule to 10 drunk people. I stayed another hour to avoid more drunk people telling me to, "COME ON, STAY, HAVE A DRINK." FML
    170
    298
      

    Burn or drown?

    Xenocide - 25/12/2025 03:00

    Today, I almost burned down my speakers. How, you ask? Well, some asshole at the party (I was the DJ) decided to trip me as I walked to the stage, causing me to knock my speakers into the pool. FML
    337
    86
      

    Can't take my eyes off you

    Pauly - 26/12/2025 22:00

    Today, I babysat my niece and thought a quick shower would be fine. I left her watching cartoons with a blanket and returned to find she’d used washable paints on the carpet and her hands, leaving tiny colorful footprints to the couch. Her proud smile made me forgive the mess, but I spent the evening scrubbing. FML
    80
    488
      

    When you're a hammer, everything looks like a nail

    Anonymous - 30/12/2025 12:00

    Today, my dad insists he knows best when it comes to DIY, since he is a big mathematics professor, while I am a mere labourer with dozens of City and Guilds qualifications. He owns one hammer, an unopened screwdriver set, and a wood saw with a broken handle, but sure, he knows better than me. FML
    408
    82
      

    Short fuse

    Anonymous - 03/01/2026 00:00

    Today, two days after losing my temper with my smart mouthed 7 year-old son and slapping him across the face, I tried to apologize by buying him a treat and telling him if anyone found out, I would get in trouble. Today, I got a call from social services about the "bruise" on his face. FML
    89
    1 166
      

    Yadda yadda yadda

    Anonymous - 04/01/2026 20:00

    Today, our desks were rearranged. I was seated next to a coworker who spends the entire day on the phone, chatting loudly with his relatives in another country while he works. I complained that it was distracting. Management won't do anything about it and warned me that "my complaints reek of racism." FML
    457
    71
      

    Antisocial

    Hope he chokes - 10/01/2026 03:00

    Today, my asswipe coworker yet again microwaved some disgusting fish dish at work, stinking out the break room for days. If we say anything, he runs to HR and complains of "racism" and "hostile work environment." God, I sound like a disgusting Trump-sucker. FML
    368
    183
      

    Nice try

    Not a thief!! - 11/01/2026 22:00

    Today, I was grocery shopping and treated myself to fresh flowers. At self-checkout, I scanned everything, paid and left. An employee ran after me to ask if I’d paid for the flowers. I’d scanned them as bananas, paying 68 cents instead of $12. I awkwardly scuttled back inside to “fix it.” FML
    102
    516
      

    High potential

    Anonymous - 15/01/2026 12:00

    Today, my youngest was recognized as a genius. My older two are now upset because they don’t think it’s fair and my husband is moaning because he thinks we’re now going to be stuck raising Sheldon Cooper. FML
    357
    81
      

    He has spoken

    Anonymous - 19/01/2026 00:00

    Today, I discovered that my deceased mother, God rot her festering soul, wrote me and only me out of her will. All my other siblings are wealthy; I’m the only one in financial trouble after my divorce. And why did mom hate me so much? Because I’m divorced and God says divorce is bad. FML
    444
    113
      
    • 55
    • 56
    • 57
    • 58
    • 59
    • 60
    • 61
    • 62
    • 63
    • 64

    Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home
    FMyLife FMyLife
    FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML
    7 226
    1 288
    Today, and every single time someone I actually feel comfortable with comes into my life, I end up fucking everything up. Whenever they don't reply, I won't for a while too, just to see if they'll check on me but they never do. Am I really that shitty? Is it so bad that I want to feel wanted? FML
    420
    683
    Today, I caught my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been as mortifying if they weren't doing it in my room. FML
    3 509
    225
    Today, I saw my dad pick his teeth with a toothpick from a new box. He ate the food he got out of his teeth and put the toothpick back. FML
    43 625
    2 896
    Today, I was trying to be sexy and sent my new boyfriend a nude. Before we started dating, I had hooked up with three of his friends which he was super insecure about. Somehow I accidentally sent it to a group chat which included five different people besides us. All of those friends were in it. FML
    827
    4 222
    Today, I got denied a refund for my dream coffee machine. I've overdrafted my bank account to buy it on Offer Up for an excellent price, but USPS delivered the package to a wrong address. Someone got it for free. Offer Up won't refund me because it says "delivered" on the tracking page. FML
    3 320
    780

    © VDM SAS,

    ​