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I know what I'm doing

By M…… - 06/08/2025 00:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I walked into a restroom at a restaurant, took one step inside, and realized it was the staff-only restroom. The manager was inside, staring at me like I was an alien. I just smiled and awkwardly walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 126

Hey dude!

By Creepy stranger danger - 11/08/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I was picking up my nephew from school. I waved when I saw him coming, shouted, “Hey dude!” The kid stared at me, confused. That’s when I realized it wasn’t my nephew, just a child who looked vaguely similar but who was now terrified. His actual mom gave me a look like she was deciding whether to call security. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 112

Clothes horse

By Monica - 21/08/2025 16:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I walked into work with my freshly cleaned jacket that I wear in the office due to the AC. The jacket has Velcro on it and I didn't realize until I took it off that one of my bras was stuck to the Velcro. My hair is long so I hope no one noticed it, but I definitely greeted two people after walking in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 123

It's a trap!

By Anonymous - 25/08/2025 15:00 - Australia

Today, I tried on a tight sweater at the mall. It got stuck halfway over my head, and I couldn’t get it off. I had to shuffle out of the changing room, arms trapped in the air, and ask the clerk for help while blinded by the fabric. FML

I agree, your life sucks 189

You deserved it 329

Overfamiliarity

By Anon office worker - 07/09/2025 00:00 - Australia

Today, I went in to hug my boss after a big project presentation, all because I misread his body language and thought he was opening his arms to me, but he was actually reaching for his jacket. I basically hugged his sleeve while he stared at me like I’d lost my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 357

Tonight, on First Dates…

By Anonymous - 08/09/2025 12:00 - Canada

Today, I was on a first date and tried to crack a joke by saying, “Don’t worry, I’m not a serial killer.” My date replied, completely serious, “That’s exactly what a serial killer would say.” The rest of the date was eaten in awkward silence and vague small talk. I'm not going back into the dating pool ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 186

Bad start

By FTodaymannnnn - 10/09/2025 12:00

Today, I woke up an hour and half late to work, sleeping through nine alarms, then fell and injured my knee going into work. I'd forgotten my work ID and door card, and misplaced my coffee mug. It's only 9 a.m.! FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 270

Snow day

By Chyna girl - 19/09/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I pulled my clothes out of the dryer and realized I had washed an entire pack of tissues with them. Every single piece of clothing was covered in what looked like tiny snowflakes. I now look like I’ve been rolling around in dandruff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 160

Footie woes

By Anonymous - 30/09/2025 00:00

Today, the owners of the team I support continue to employ a manager so bad that he has to be a double agent. Is it too much for a Manchester United fan to ask for, that we don't get relegated? FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 323

Not feeling it

By BuyersRemorse - 01/10/2025 20:00

Today, I bought a dragon dildo after many years of curiosity and recently, one too many glasses of wine. As I lined it up next to my forearm, the reality that it would go INTO me set in. I can't return it as it is not the seller's fault. I'm throwing it away tomorrow before someone I know finds it. Curiosity killed the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 351

Let me in!

By Anonymous - 08/10/2025 22:00

Today, I walked out of my apartment to take the trash out. The wind suddenly slammed the door shut behind me. The problem? I was only wearing boxers. My keys were inside, the trash bag ripped in my hands, and my neighbor’s dog barked at me like he had caught an intruder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 179

Oh, hai Mark

By David - 22/10/2025 03:00

Today, I was in the check out line at a store when I thought I recognized the guy behind me from high school. I turned and said, “Oh my God, Mark?” He said, “No.” To make it worse, my brain short-circuited and I said, “Are you sure?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 329

Good thing?

By Anonymous - 27/10/2025 12:00

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of eight years had cheated on me for the last two. It's been about three years since it happened and I now can't look up porn because it reminds me of the gut-wrenching feeling of this event. It's a good thing, but WTF? FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 98

Not a sponsored post

By Ew - 10/11/2025 15:00

Today, I was introduced to a YouTube musician called S3RL. I was listening to a playlist of his music all day. Then of course when I went to pick up my girlfriend, some song came on that was just exaggerated sex moans pitched into music. She stared at me then burst out laughing and called me a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 347

Surveillance

By Bribri - 15/11/2025 22:00

Today, after a big lunch, my daughter told me she wasn’t hungry and didn’t want a snack. Ten minutes later, the sound of a bag of chips being opened summoned her like a beacon. She burst into the room, shouting, “HOW COULD YOU EAT WITHOUT ME?” I’m apparently not allowed to snack without filing paperwork now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 116

Are you good?

By I tried - 23/11/2025 00:00

Today, I tried to discreetly fix a wedgie while walking into a crowded store. Right as I yanked my waistband, the automatic doors opened and revealed a full line of people staring directly at me mid-adjustment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 268

Confused

By I…… - 10/12/2025 20:00

Today, I ran into someone at a party I thought was a coworker and started talking to them about the company we work for. He listened to me for a bit, then said, “I think you think I’m someone else.” I apologized to this total stranger, walked away, and spent the rest of the party avoiding him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 222

You deserved it 164

Unsolicited advice

By Heather - 16/12/2025 03:00

Today, I was practicing a presentation while walking around my apartment. I didn’t realize my neighbor was standing outside my door, listening. When I opened it, he said, “Strong opening, but you lost confidence halfway.” I didn’t ask for notes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 134

Great first impression

By Chilled - 17/12/2025 22:00

Today, I met my partner’s parents wearing my favorite hoodie to look casual-cool. As I stood to shake hands, the hem caught on a chair and ripped in a loud, dramatic seam that sounded like a trumpet. Silence, then his Mom said, “She's a character!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 118

Merry Christmas!

By Tree of life - 23/12/2025 03:00

Today, I bought a Christmas tree and carried it up three flights of stairs alone. I finally got it inside, only to realize it was too tall. I tried trimming it, but now it’s crooked, shedding everywhere, and leaning like it gave up on life. I hope the greenish marks on the ceiling won't be permanent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 174

You deserved it 316

To be fair and balanced…

By Anonymous - 01/01/2026 00:00

Today, I found out my husband is still friends with someone who talks a lot of crap about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 84

How could you?

By Not a cheater - 04/01/2026 15:00

Today, I was looking over reservations for an upcoming work trip, and saw that my work would cover the "romance package" at a nice hotel. I laughed. My coworkers laughed. When I told my wife, not only did she not laugh, she burst into tears and screamed, "I knew you were cheating!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 116

What happened?

By Anonymous - 20/01/2026 15:00

Today, a day or two after a really close friend of mine offered for me to move in with him, he has me blocked on everything, because he cheated on his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 72

Realistic

By Anonymous - 22/01/2026 09:00

Today, I told my daughter that it’s important to marry for love. She asked if I married her dad for love, which I did. She thought about it for a second, then said, "Fuck that, I’m marrying me a rich guy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 112

Rise and grind

By Gwen - 27/01/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, I'm two days deep into a semester at a trade school, pulling doubles. I was supposed to only work 4 days a week, which would've been totally manageable. But, because the weather was total crap the first week, now I'm stuck working 80-hour weeks for the next month including those Fridays. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 122

Denial no more

By KittyT - 13/02/2025 10:00 - Australia - Randwick

Today, after years of me trying to get better, I finally have to admit that I'm severely disabled, as I saw it on my assistance paperwork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 82

Slippin' up

By Caroline - 14/02/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I walked into my office, rocking my new noise-canceling headphones. Turns out, they work so well that I didn’t hear my coworker trying to warn me about the wet floor. Now I’m the proud owner of a bruised hip and a security camera video making the rounds on our Slack channels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 197

You deserved it 442

Pipe down!

By Anonymous - 23/02/2025 20:00 - Canada

Today, I woke up to the sound of my roommate vacuuming at 7 a.m. I was annoyed because I had stayed up late, but then I realized she was vacuuming in the kitchen… at 7 a.m. because the broom "wasn't powerful enough." I gave her the benefit of the doubt until she started vacuuming my bedroom floor while I was still in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 97

Nice try

By Alissa - 09/03/2025 19:00 - United States

Today, my 5 year-old son told me that while I was at work, “Daddy was blowing up Aunt Heather’s balloons.” When I talked to my husband about this, he hastily told me it was for her birthday party. Her birthday is in July. Nice save… not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 99

The golden cousin

By Anonymous - 05/04/2025 15:00 - Canada

Today, I went to a family reunion and made the mistake of wearing the same shirt as my cousin, who is known for always wanting to be the center of attention. She took one look at me, pointed, and said, “Oh, I see you’re copying me now, huh?” Then, my aunt overheard and said, “Well, she is your cousin, so it’s not like it’s a crime.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 65

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The Top

Today, my psychiatrist asked me if I felt bad about my weight. When I said no, he looked surprised and said, "Why not?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 024

You deserved it 5 037

Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw a brick down the laundry-chute. Guess who spent the night at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 482

You deserved it 1 751

Today, I had a date with a guy I’ve known casually for a few weeks. Everything was OK, until he asked me to come back to his place because he had something “to share with me.” Apparently, he’s double jointed, because his mouth reaches below his waist. He even finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 200

You deserved it 213

Today, I officially became a divorced marriage counselor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 615

You deserved it 7 996

Today, it’s my birthday. My boss treated me to a day off work, except my mother called at 12:01am drunk as hell screaming, “Happy birthday” down the phone. When I finally fell back asleep, I awoke to my boss asking me to come in after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 849

You deserved it 127

Today, I mistakenly sent a voice message to my boss while imitating him in a comical way. The message contained my spot-on impression, complete with exaggerated jargon and phrases he frequently uses. I didn't realize it until I received a reply saying, "LOL, nailed it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 812