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Relax

By Alice - 09/03/2026 22:00

Today, I felt so awful in my belly, I went to a massage therapist for help. She, like me, thought it was the stress of some recent family issues. It was more than that. Her kneading of my gut indeed relieved me by helping me have a HUGE go. One scream and a four foot turd later, I realized I'd been constipated. No longer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 151

Tit for tat

By Anonymous - 18/03/2026 20:00

Today, my my soon to be ex-wife found out I was telling the truth and never cheated. She wanted to get back together but I told her that we're too far into the divorce proceedings to turn back, and there's just no fixing our marriage. She then told me she's filing for full custody with no visitation rights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 62

Red flag

By Yes, I still like him. - 25/03/2026 22:00

Today, I just discovered that the guy I really like, whom I greet with a wave and a sweet "Hi!" to everyday, wasn't really greeting me back with a "Hi!" and a wave. It was a "Heil Hitler!" with a Nazi salute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 135

Surely there's a conversation to be had

By Anonymous - 29/03/2026 15:00

Today, I asked my wife for a divorce because her kids hate my son and are horrible to him because they don't like that he has a dad and they don't. She's my soulmate and the love of my life, but I can't do this to him anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 79

Planned parenthood

By NPRM - 03/03/2026 00:00

Today, my husband and I got into yet another fight because he wants a second kid and I don't. One kid is enough for any family but he won't listen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 309

Old flame

By Anonymous - 08/03/2026 09:00

Today, my pregnant wife has been crying for hours after she found out that I’d slept with the woman who does her ultrasounds. That woman happened to have been my prom date nearly 20 years ago and I had no idea she moved back in town, let alone worked for our doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 189

Stop pointing out my shortcomings

By lordoftheweird - 22/03/2026 15:00

Today, I was accused of racism for mentioning that a Native American woman in my neighborhood is illiterate. She's a special needs adult waiting for an opening in a group home, I only mentioned she was illiterate because people couldn't figure it out and were upset that she couldn't read the notes they were leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 53

Atomic family

By Anonymous - 27/03/2026 22:00

Today, I found out that my dad and mom, who just passed away, were never married and that my siblings and I weren't actually his. Now there's the very real possibility that we could be taken away. I'll die if that happens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 57

Hell no!

By Anonymous - 13/03/2026 20:00

Today, my parents disowned me because I would not open my family's home to my sister and her family because their home burned down. My sister and her husband have twelve kids and they have the same crazy fundamentalist beliefs as the Duggar family. But my parents say, "THEY'RE FAMILY!!!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 87

Kinda expected

By Anonymous - 06/03/2026 20:00

Today, my boyfriend dumped me after his wife found out about us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 887

It's not a phase, Mom

By goldstar lesbo - 12/03/2026 03:00

Today, I split with my abusive girlfriend and moved back in with my parents. Now my mom won't stop pressuring me to get with a man and have a million kids. I hate men, absolutely despise the disgusting pigs, and wouldn't be with one if we were the only people on Earth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 263

You deserved it 626

Target goals

By Anonymous - 17/03/2026 15:00

Today, I officially completed my weight loss journey, only for my wife, who'd previously threatened to divorce me if I didn't lose weight, to tell me that she realized she liked me better when I was fat and that "you don't know what you have until it's gone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 73

Attachment issues

By Anonymous - 26/03/2026 12:00

Today, I'm stuck in a nightmare where one of my young twins is fixated on spending as much time with her sibling as possible, while the other one is a complete introvert who wants her sister to leave her alone as much as possible. Either way, someone is upset and crying, mostly me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 88

What did you do?

By Anonymous - 07/03/2026 00:00

Today, I found out that my (amazing) adoptive parents are going to be investigated by CPS and no one's telling me why. I'm terrified I'm going to be taken away and end up back in foster care again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 68

Disappointed

By Anonymous - 26/03/2026 15:00

Today, as yet more proof my useless son is probably going to be living with me well into his adulthood, he has now failed his driving theory test 14 times, despite me studying with him every afternoon. He also has no job, no goals, no girlfriend, and a neck tattoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 166

Impressive skills

By Anonymous - 30/03/2026 03:00

Today, I tried to impress my date by confidently parallel parking on a busy street. I hit the curb twice, stalled the car, and somehow set off my alarm. Then I locked the keys inside while it screamed. We stood there in silence while people watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 394

Assumptions

By Anonymous - 31/03/2026 22:00

Today, I discovered my sister's fiance's name multiple times in the guestbooks of the hotel I work at, each time with a different woman, so I told her and she dumped him. It turns out it was a guy who had the same name, but it wasn't him. He won't take her back, and now she hates me. I thought I was being a good sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 476

Too fast

By Covian - 05/03/2026 09:00

Today, my boyfriend told me he lost his feelings for me and is breaking up with me. He also told me he’ll be glad to contribute to raising our son, who I gave birth to 3 months ago. To rub salt in the wound, he announced on Facebook as “In a relationship” with his coworker 12 hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 545

You deserved it 86

Mom definitely doesn't know best

By Anonymous - 07/03/2026 03:00

Today, my homophobic ex-wife was awarded full custody of our gay son, who she tried to disown. She has every intention of putting him in "conversion therapy" and there's nothing I can do about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 112

Loose cannon

By Anonymous - 21/03/2026 09:00

Today, I found out that my workplace still won't fire my coworker who is extremely rude to customers. Last week, he called a black woman the n-word right to her face. All he did was just get yelled at and told to get back to work. No matter how many complaints, they simply won't fire him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 66

Fight like hell

By Anonymous - 09/03/2026 00:00

Today, Social Services took my recently deceased girlfriend's kids. I've loved those kids for almost 10 years and now I might never see them again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 98

Dealbreaker

By Megs - 05/03/2026 15:00

Today, I'm preparing to go through my second divorce, all because I don't want kids. Both of them agreed to no kids when we were dating, then changed their minds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 104

Desperate

By Anonymous - 14/03/2026 12:00

Today, my ex-wife announced that she's taking me to court for child support. Her kids were just my stepkids and we weren't even married a year, but she apparently has a pretty good lawyer on her side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 78

Bide your time

By Anonymous - 23/03/2026 09:00

Today, I'm being forced to go back to my parents', who kicked me out because they thought I was gay. I'm not. There was a misunderstanding. I don't want to go back to them because they've shown me what kind of people they are, even if I'm straight, but the police and Social Services are making me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 103

Keyboard warrior goes clackity clack

By Anonymous - 12/03/2026 20:00

Today, the guy in the cubicle across from me complained about me to our boss. Apparently, his relatives heard me typing something on his daily 8+ hour call to them, and now don't believe he has his own office. My boss took his side and asked me to type quieter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 64

Madcap plans

By Anonymous - 14/03/2026 15:00

Today, my wife inherited her grandparents' farm in Hawaii and she is now dead-set on uprooting our kids and everything, and moving the family there. I keep telling her that just isn't feasible or financially possible, but she won't take no for an answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 108

We're open

By Milos Maricic - 16/03/2026 09:00

Today, after six months of building my SaaS (Software as a service) every night after work while juggling life with three kids, I finally launched it. Two months later, it’s still getting almost zero traffic. Turns out building the product was the easy part… getting people to actually visit it is the real nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 122

Whatever floats your turd

By Self-loathing intensifies - 28/03/2026 20:00

Today, my boyfriend learned about my filthy fetishes in the worst way possible. He found me naked in the bathroom, licking the dirty toilet seat. I couldn't even make an excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37

You deserved it 316

Quite the catch

By Anonymous - 04/03/2026 00:00

Today, I already felt like shit for no reason, only to find out my boyfriend been drinking again, even though he knows it worries me. He lives two hours away and I don't have a car. Apparently he's had two bottles of vodka, and he started getting nasty over the phone with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 138

Reality is weirder than fiction

By Broken Arm - This FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff

Today, I found out that while it is unlikely you'll break your arm by catching it in the door, it is perfectly possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 177

You deserved it 137

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I realised the recruiter for the Navy lied to me. This shit ain't fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 894

You deserved it 2 457

Today, I found out my husband has been flirting with and dating behind my back the nurse who treats my cancer. He admitted that he needs someone healthy and not someone who’s “gonna be sick all the time.” He also attempted to justify it by saying, “You’re gonna die anyway and then what am I gonna do?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 247

You deserved it 153

Today, while hurrying by bike to an appointment, my chain broke. I quickly got off the road and managed to fix it on the sidewalk, covering my hands in black smear. Dirty but confident about my repair skills, I got up. A second later, felt something warm running down my neck. Bird poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 945

You deserved it 133

Today, I accidentally dropped my birth control pill on the floor and my dog ate it. The good news is, I startled her and she spit it right out. The bad news is, I still had to take it after it had been in my dog's mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 972

You deserved it 19 720

Today, I found out my girlfriend is only with me because I'm a mechanic and I fix her constantly broken-down car for free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 361

You deserved it 2 645

Today, my group of friends, my girlfriend, and I were playing "Never have I ever." My girlfriend's turn came up and she went with, "Never have I ever had an orgasm." FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 084

You deserved it 21 530