Inappropriate and Miscellaneous: Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary,...

By god - 29/04/2014 18:48 - United Kingdom - Livingston

Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 360

You deserved it 5 576

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Same thing different taste

Creeper Alert

By of fucking course - 05/09/2017 06:00

Today, I was feeling a little frisky and started making out with my husband on our couch. He had just taken off my shirt when a strange smell hit my nose. I turned my head and saw my alcoholic neighbor with a cigarette in his hand, watching the entire thing unfold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 180

You deserved it 903

By suffersecks - 20/01/2012 23:54 - United States

Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 677

You deserved it 6 206

Revealing

By kitkat545 - 15/06/2009 23:18 - United States

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 131

You deserved it 51 059

By Anonymous - 30/01/2015 20:16 - United States

Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 264

You deserved it 4 513

So hott

By facepalm - 27/02/2009 08:39 - Singapore

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 823

You deserved it 15 198

By princess - 12/04/2014 21:01 - United States - San Marcos

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 617

You deserved it 7 177

Common passion

By ShowerheadGirl - 09/11/2009 07:06 - United States

Today, I was having an intimate moment with my detachable shower head. I opened my eyes to find my husband of 4 months looking down on me. The only thing he said was, "You too?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 177

You deserved it 25 273

By Anonymous - 15/12/2011 17:26 - United States

Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 900

You deserved it 5 568

Classic Dave

By Sarahir - 29/04/2020 05:00

Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 229

You deserved it 411

TMI

By crazyman. - 12/05/2012 05:27 - United States - Keller

Today, my fiancé got drunk at our wedding reception and announced to his and my family what we do in bed. And it was pretty detailed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 763

You deserved it 4 144

PossiblyInDanger 24

Wednesday 30 April 2014 0:07

At least you didn't find out he was cheating on you.

niallo 23

Wednesday 30 April 2014 0:08

At least he kept a good grip on the situation.

Comments

jicou 7

Wednesday 30 April 2014 7:54

run awayyyyyyyyy.

ThePez828 18

Wednesday 30 April 2014 8:01

Merely reading this infuriates me. I want to punch him in the face. If my husband did that I would kick him out of the house until he learned his lesson! If he acts like a dog, treat him like one!

Thorzix 23

Wednesday 30 April 2014 12:23

Her husband needs help. But sorry, so do you.

kasmol 16

Wednesday 30 April 2014 8:22

Why? What would compel a man to ********** in public, during dinner, on an evening out for his anniversary? Was the salad that good? And then brag about it later. Did he expect you to give him a high five and praise him for his work? He has some serious issues that need professional attention.

Axel5238 29

Wednesday 30 April 2014 9:19

Agreed there isn't any part of this that isn't creepy or gross and easily could've ended with him in jail and possible be labeled a sex offender. I've seen some sad FML's, but this is rather disturbing, and if it is a joke that's messed up as well.

biloxi_girl 22

Wednesday 30 April 2014 9:42

Your husband obviously has self control issues. If somebody would have seen him he would have been arrested, and have to register as a sex offender in some states.

DevilsMetsGiants 30

Wednesday 30 April 2014 9:45

That's...umm...impressive

WeskersSexslave 15

Wednesday 30 April 2014 10:54

Couldn't he just wait? Next time you should suggest doing it in the restaurant's bathroom

Sangue0608 26

Wednesday 30 April 2014 12:17

or under the table, in the parking lot, the possibilities are endless.

fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22

Wednesday 30 April 2014 13:16

I just can't.. there are so many creepy and gross implications in that FML. - He jerked off in public - He jerked off in public at a restaurant, where people EAT - Then he went on having dinner, with jeez in his pants and maybe on his hands - And he did that on a wedding anniversary!!! I was pissed off at my husband when I caught him watching **** during our honeymoon but at least we were in our hotel room and I was in the shower when he was watching. But this, I really feel bad for you OP, that's disrespectful on so many levels. FYL indeed.