Intimacy: Today, I was having amazing sex with this guy I had been seeing...

By Anonymous - 30/05/2009 14:19 - Australia

Today, I was having amazing sex with this guy I had been seeing for a while. It got really intense, so did my moans. Guys usually like when I moan, but he just put his hands over my mouth and told me to "shut up" because it sounded like "pig noises". FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 355

You deserved it 21 516

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 346

You deserved it 2 779

By bjfail - 09/01/2010 15:56 - United Kingdom

Today, the guy I have been seeing stopped me in the middle of sex and told me to finish him off by going down on him instead. After a few minutes, I looked up to discover that the noises I had thought were moans of pleasure were actually the sounds of him snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 556

You deserved it 4 906

Honky

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 520

You deserved it 5 248

WTF dude?

By Bug5992 - 09/12/2012 22:46 - United States - Kent

Today, I was getting intimate with my current booty-call when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed", "moo-ed", and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 911

You deserved it 10 326

Acting is hard work

By S. Dub - 10/04/2020 05:00

Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 983

You deserved it 316

Don't mind me

By evelynn - 20/05/2010 06:25 - France

Today, the guy I'm seeing and I were having sex. While I was having my orgasm, he looked at me and said "SHHHH!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 181

You deserved it 8 190

By nick - 27/06/2016 03:44 - United States - Highland Park

Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 498

You deserved it 2 116

Sexy catboys rule my life

By verno02 - 10/08/2010 23:58 - Canada

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He's the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 149

You deserved it 8 811

It's all too much

By toomuchlove - 02/08/2010 23:32 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I like it when he moans while we're having sex. Unfortunately, he interpreted that as "milk it". The sound is so obnoxious, it's starting to ruin the sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 731

You deserved it 27 275

Uh oh

By awkward - 26/07/2013 18:00 - United States - Yorba Linda

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "Uh-huh," "Not too bad," and "Yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 251

You deserved it 7 269

sarcasm_ftw 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 20:07

be careful if he calls you "babe" it might have mixed messages now

AmberHall 2

Saturday 30 May 2009 20:06

Next time just lie there and give no indication that you are enjoying it at all. That will irritate him even more. He sounds insensitive and a bit arrogant expecting people to accommodate their sexual responses to him

Comments

Gotz_No_Love 1

Monday 1 June 2009 23:11

squeal like a piggie!!! soooweee!!!! in all seriousness, how does a moan sound like a pig? those guys who like your moan must be those "farmer" types.

siqfiend 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 3:38

Damn thats ******* funny how could your moan sound like a pig???

missKayOhh 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 6:54

Can we get an audio? then we can actually judge hahaha

germanhomie3123 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 16:46

hahahahahahhahahahahahahahah L O S E R

puckmastakilla6 1

Wednesday 3 June 2009 2:33

tell him to stop being a fag

nonconscious 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 9:07

It's always sexy when a woman lets you know how she's feeling, but if it's coming off as "pig noises", you might want to reconsider how you're expressing yourself...

glamourful 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 9:56

you shouldn't have to "do" moans..they should just happen... if you are thinking about doing them, that's called faking...sorry...

glamourful 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 10:00

sorry, i just read some of the earlier comments... if you're gonna post on FML, take it with a grain of salt. stop being so defensive. its all in fun. if it hurts, don't post...