Miscellaneous: Today, I had to bail my husband out of jail. It turns out that...

By fleetingmemories - 29/11/2013 23:55 - United States - Falls Church

Today, I had to bail my husband out of jail. It turns out that in the Black Friday rush, he beat a guy up just so he could get his hands on the last of a heavily-discounted item. The item in question: a toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 052

You deserved it 4 329

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Same thing different taste

He's a good man

By no booze, no boyfriend - 04/06/2013 20:31 - United States

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 171

You deserved it 4 668

Jailbird

By blondebarbie271 - 26/07/2015 23:55 - United States - Center Barnstead

Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 366

You deserved it 14 521

By Anonymous - 26/11/2010 14:22 - United States

Today, it's Black Friday. I got sucker-punched by some woman over a ten dollar griddle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 165

You deserved it 6 151

Public freakout

By Rem - 26/10/2025 15:00

Today, I had to bail my husband out from jail for almost killing someone. What happened? He and my sister-in-law were in an grocery store when she spotted his old high school nemesis, who back then was the biggest bully in school. She thought that it would be "exciting" to see what would happen if their paths crossed again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 74

By Anonymous - 23/12/2012 17:52 - United States - Bel Air

Today, I received a package from a local guy on Craigslist. Instead of the iPhone I paid $350 for, the box only contained a photo of an iPhone. The guy had been dumb enough to attach a return address, so my husband went over and beat the shit out of him. I now have to bail him out of jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 092

You deserved it 13 579

By bellaskyeb - 08/01/2012 17:42 - United States

Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 294

You deserved it 4 258

By kittyslayer - 15/12/2011 02:46 - United States

Today, my landlord came and beat on my door demanding the rent check. I just got home from a trip and my wife was supposed to pay it while I was away. What happened to the money? Black Friday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 035

You deserved it 3 889

Born to run

By Ipickthegoodones - 26/06/2009 06:43 - United States

Today, I had three sheriffs come to my door, turns out my boyfriend of three years went on a robbing spree last week and brought the stolen merchandise back to my apartment. The best part: He used my car while committing the robberies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 249

You deserved it 6 641

By iliketoastalot - 09/08/2011 17:38 - United States

Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 673

You deserved it 5 915

By lonelyheart4ever - 13/08/2016 01:58 - United States - Norman Park

Today, a man finally was flirting with me in a supermarket checkout lane, even offering to help unload my groceries onto the conveyor. Turns out he was just distracting everyone so his partner in crime could steal $200 from the cash register. I had to give a witness statement to the manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 341

You deserved it 1 483

carelessxdanger 9

Saturday 30 November 2013 5:28

did they give you a lower bail bond in light of the black friday spirit? (:

spluver0005 17

Saturday 30 November 2013 5:27

Hey toasters are important you know

Comments

mythicaltimes 15

Saturday 30 November 2013 19:43

Was it a brave little toaster?

noobienick 19

Saturday 30 November 2013 23:02

Well, did he get the toaster?

sanecatlady 13

Sunday 1 December 2013 0:11

People get greedier and stupider every year. It'll be the death of us all. :-C

aron666 25

Sunday 1 December 2013 2:09

At least he didn't depend on his son's martial arts skills ...

ducky45 20

Sunday 1 December 2013 3:38

I was waiting for a Black Friday fml

EpitomeofBoredom 5

Sunday 1 December 2013 4:01

Did the guy your husband beat up happen to have been with his martial-arts-class-taking son?

Bcfrmkc816 17

Sunday 1 December 2013 6:05

It was probably for you so you could make him toast after sex

RollerBlazer 2

Sunday 1 December 2013 6:25

only in MURICA does crap like this happen. one day you give thanks for what you have..the next day you beat people over new things that chances are..you already own.

cXXkilljoyXXx 3

Sunday 1 December 2013 17:26

well duh why would you want to pay full price to burn your food. that guy deserved it. trying to take his toaster. I want to see this guy when Macy's announces their one day sale.