Your everyday life stories

merchant2313 - 09/04/2016 02:55 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my boyfriend left me for my sister. FML.

ChrisSixx - 09/04/2016 02:47 - Canada - St. John's

Today, My girlfriend dumped me because "You like me too much". We have been dating for about seven months now and she is by far the clingier out of the two of us, even getting sad on the days when I am unavailable to see her. I'm still devastated. FML

Sad Dentist - 09/04/2016 02:43 - Australia - Mawson

Today, I called work to ask what time I was meant to see my first patient tomorrow. The receptionist sounded surprised, and told me I was on leave. I spoke to my boss; apparently some staffing issues meant they couldn't get me an assistant. I am now on "leave". Indefinitely. FML.

GameOps - 09/04/2016 02:33 - United States - Irving

Today, I finally finished writing out the music for the whole Star Wars film for a major music school assignment. After I pushed the save button, the sheer size of the file caused my computer to crash, and I lost the whole thing despite having saved it before. The assignment's due tonight. FMl

screamkid - 09/04/2016 02:26 - United States - Ashburn

Today, I was at the mall with some friends. I had really bad gas due to a bad burger prior to, and I had to let out a particularly big fart. I didn't see anyone around, so I let loose. Right as three guys I have in my regular classes walked by. FML.

Anonymous - 09/04/2016 02:25 - Canada - Port Alberni

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head and just as I was about to cum, she looks me in the eyes and says, "This is D-licious." Needless to say, I didn't finish...FML

Anonymous - 09/04/2016 02:16 - United States

Today I saw every one of my family members from all over the world at my sisters wedding. They all showed up with barely a months notice. They were all very surprised to find out that I was also married and asked if I had eloped. I gave them all a six month notice to my wedding. FML

Anonymous - 09/04/2016 02:15 - United States - Wylie

Today, I came home early to my husband in bed with another woman. When I asked who the hell she was, he said, "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

greywolf19k - 09/04/2016 02:07 - United States - Havelock

Today, I had to get up in the middle of class and excuse myself because I had unexpectedly bled quite a bit through the seat and groin of my jeans. And no, it wasn't my period. I'm a guy. FML.

nice2 - 09/04/2016 02:03 - Philippines - Poblacion

Today, my friend, whom I have a big crush on, invited me to go drinking - just the two of us. I took this a sign that she's interested in me as well. An hour into the drinking session, she starts talking about about her current fuckbuddy in great detail. FML

Anonymous - 09/04/2016 01:39 - United States - Beachwood

Today I got a stern talking to from my parents. Not for having a boy over with nobody home, but for not explicitly asking permission to walk down the street to my female friend's house. Now I'm grounded. FML

jeb17 - 09/04/2016 01:39 - United States - Mechanicsburg

Today, all of my hard work finally paid off. After over a year of training harder than I ever have before and pushing myself to new limits, I made it to the finals for my track team. On my way home from the recognition ceremony, I tripped down a single step and broke my ankle. The race is tomorrow.

annikatariina - 09/04/2016 01:30 - United States - Rancho Palos Verdes

Today, I received antibiotics that have a side effect of headaches. This would be okay, if the reason I went to the doctor in the first place wasn't because of my continuous migraine. FML

HarleyQueen - 09/04/2016 01:23 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my very old and problematic car finally was on her last leg and blew up on me. when I told my parents of the situation they told me they weren't going to help me because they don't trust me. I don't have the money for a new car. FML

chelseaclaire - 09/04/2016 01:21 - United States - Riverside

Today, I realized that I've gained so much weight that my fat jeans have now become my skinny jeans. FML.

nosleepforme - 09/04/2016 01:19 - United States - Cypress

Today, I decided that I would soak in the tub to help with my headache. All I can hear outside the door is my roommates cats screaming at me. Fml

Howdoucall - 09/04/2016 00:41 - United States

Today, while finally getting out of rehab for a morphine addiction from an accident, I was hit by a truck. the doctors gave me morphine and re-sparked my addiction. FML

Anonymous - 09/04/2016 00:36 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, I received the following mail: a few sympathy cards on the death of my newborn daughter. Her social security card and death certificate. A $422 bill for her MRI. Also a note from my caseworker informing me that she is eligible for Medicaid coverage. FML

scared shitlessss - 09/04/2016 00:36 - Canada - Belleville

Today, I woke up to the sound of my toilet flushing. All would be fine if I didn't live alone. I'm too scared to go to sleep anymore. FML

pastelblack - 09/04/2016 00:32 - United States - Miami

Today, after almost 4 weeks of my mom being in the hospital from having a stroke, this girl ,who I'm not good friends with, calls me asking how my mom is doing. She was the only one. Fml

hurtfeet - 08/04/2016 23:46 - United States

Today, some creep was hitting on my mom. I assume that due to our different skin tones, he had accused me of being her boyfriend. I of course had to inform him that I am in fact her homosexual, 16 year old, son. FML

Bawsack - 08/04/2016 23:16 - United Kingdom

Today, a kid at work told me she felt sick. She makes up being ill all the time so I didn't believe her. She felt sick alright. All over my head and back while I was tying her shoes. I can't go home or shower until the next girl comes in. The kid feels much better and wants ice cream. FML.

allergic to cuteness - 08/04/2016 22:57 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my girlfriend of two years decided to bring two puppies into the house after she went to the city. an adorable miniature dash hound and a super fluffy Pomeranian. She makes me sleep on the couch because im allergic to them and she doesnt want them to sleep in a kennel all night. FML

beyond pitiful - 08/04/2016 22:57 - United States - New Carlisle

Today, my three month old son decided to puke into my mouth while I was holding him face to face with me. Fml

random - 08/04/2016 22:57 - United States

Today, I found out that my grandpa I haven't seen in two years is dying, my whole family has known for months he had lung cancer and never told me.

kumagoro4ever - 08/04/2016 22:56 - United States - Vashon

Today, I went for a walk/jog. I stopped long enough to take a video of a newborn calf stand for the first time but I ended up with video of myself passing out. FML

zzramz - 08/04/2016 22:52 - United States - Temecula

Today, I went to a nail salon to get a pedicure. As soon as my feet touched the warm water I pissed my pants.. FML

Peeved Peach - 08/04/2016 22:49 - United States - Aurora

Today, I am babysitting my friend's two month old little girl who has very and colic. Trying to help her work out the gas, by lifting her legs, I accidentally forced a column of poo out of her at a velocity I didn't know possible mid diaper change, which shot straight into my cleavage. FML.

Anonymous - 08/04/2016 22:44 - United States - Rutherford

Today was my only day off from work this week. I've been glued to the toilet all day. FML

Anonymous - 08/04/2016 22:39 - United States - Houston

Today, I got to stand and be harrassed by a stranger while watching my boyfriend dance with his psycho ex for the only slow dance of the night. Fml

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I went to the ER as I have an ulcer and I was exhibiting signs of a perforation. This is when the gorgeous doctor told me he had to stick his finger up my butt to check for rectal bleeding. FML

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Today, I invited my sister to my wedding. She's not coming, because I didn't reply to her email three years ago. The one she sent to my whole family saying that I was a dangerous psychopath. FML

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Today, my birthday is in two weeks. I began looking up significant events that occurred on my birthday just to feel as though it actually matters to someone. Few of my friends remember it, and the ones that do have trouble trying to squeeze it into their schedules without screwing up their Christmas plans. FML

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Today, I realized that I'm a better human being when drunk or high, because at least then I don't seem like a wind-up toy about to snap. FML

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Today, I woke up from a horrible nightmare. What was it about? Me accidentally scratching a non-stick pan with my utility knife. FML

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Today, with words of encouragement from my mom, I vacuumed my room. After finishing and admiring my job well done, I went to put the vacuum away. It caught on the plug for my electric razor which was dangling below the dresser and yanked that and everything else that was on top of it off. FML

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