Your everyday life stories

Ginge-y - 10/04/2016 21:11 - Canada - Longueuil

Today, I realised that messily devouring an orange is the closest thing I've ever had to making out. I'm 21. FML

MrConfusion - 10/04/2016 21:08 - United States

Today, I witnessed my brother getting intimate with my childhood stuffed animal plushie. I will never unsee this. FML

IceWrath - 10/04/2016 21:07 - United Kingdom - Maidstone

Today, it is my birthday. I had to travel over 10 hours by car to my parents' house whilst dealing with a horrific case of diarrhoea and two very car sick dogs. My girlfriend and I had to pull over so many times it lengthened our journey by 4 hours. Happy birthday to me! FML.

okcrazyeight - 10/04/2016 21:02 - United States - Watertown

Today, I went in a date with a guy I work with. I was wearing a white romper and we went for a nice picnic. Little did I know I got my period, and I stood up my date uncomfortably notified me. FML

plasteredgore - 10/04/2016 20:58 - Canada - Lethbridge

Today, My boyfriend was fingering me, he started going pretty fast which caused his fingers to slip and stab the inside of my vagina twice. Vaginal skin was under his nails, I bled a lot, then fainted. FML

imonly12 - 10/04/2016 20:31 - United States - Palmdale

Today, I accidentally punched my sister in the face lightly. She responded by beating the shit out of me. FML

Pocket_Aces2552 - 10/04/2016 20:24 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, while locking up after work, I got scared by a small rat rustling through the leaves. I'm a 20 year old man, and supposed to be the tough manager of the restaraunt. FML

gingerlover01 - 10/04/2016 20:21 - United States

Today, I stayed up til three in the morning with a girl I really care for, as she's talking about how no one could ever love her I tell her I do, her response, "I mean no one attractive!". FML

Anonymous - 10/04/2016 20:13 - United States - Dickson

Today I called out from work saying I was sick. Honestly just over slept. My boss said bring a Dr note. So I go to doctor find out I have strep throat. FML

Anonymous - 10/04/2016 20:11 - United States - Reynoldsburg

Today, I realized the reason I no longer have many friends or people to hang out with isn't because I slowly became an introvert like I believed, but because my parents lack of care about fighting in front of company and my dad's alcoholism led me to be afraid to invite people into my life. FML.

livin'thedream - 10/04/2016 19:56 - United States - Fulton

Today, My fiance dumped me. She said we were living separate lives, both working 40hrs and school. We just got a puppy for Christmas. She was the one who wanted me back in school, which is anxiety central for me. No worries its her house so I just have to find a place to live during finals. FML

Anonymous - 10/04/2016 19:46 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I was playing kickball in my school and when it was my turn, I kicked it as hard as I could and it hit my teachers head and I was so scared and embarrassed that I just went to the back of the line and hid there while people yelled at me to re-do my turn. FML

lemon water - 10/04/2016 19:45 - United States - Gilbert

Today, I woke up extremely thirsty at 4 am. I grabbed what I thought was my new water bottle and pressed the button to open the lid. Something chemically lemon scented sprayed all over my face and in my mouth. It was pledge. FML

Liddell - 10/04/2016 19:37 - Canada - Toronto

Today, while talking about BMI with my friends, I propose to search mine. Comfortable with my weight, I added that I didn't mind if it was on the "fat side". One of them then added, very awkwardly, "Oh, it's okay, it's not like you are suuuuper ugly". Thanks God I'm only "ugly". FML

ughnaked - 10/04/2016 19:19 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I woke up in a sudden start from a nightmare about work. I dreamt I saw my boss naked in bed. Now at work I am beet red in embarrassment and can hardly talk to him. FML

superstar - 10/04/2016 19:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I played my first gig. afterwards a girl came over and said "I love...." I was thinking "she loves my music" in that split second I was overjoyed. Then she finished her sentence. Turns out she loved the bag of chips I was holding. rock and roll.... FML

almostadult - 10/04/2016 19:02 - United Kingdom - Alton

Today, one of my roommates locked me out for a prank. He and another one of my roommates then had an argument over who should unlock the door, as the pranker didn't want to and my other roommate was busy. I was stuck outside in the cold for half an hour until they made their minds up. FML.

PhantomKitty - 10/04/2016 18:58 - United States

Today, my mom asked me when my last period was. I'm not pregnant; my boyfriend and I have never even had sex. Apparently I'm just fat. FML

Anonymous - 10/04/2016 18:56 - United States - Ballston Spa

Today, my mom told us she's cleaning all the bathrooms for 1 hour. This normally wouldn't be a problem, except I've had intense diarrhea for 2 days now. I'm currently in my room, squatting over my trash can. FML

btracy619 - 10/04/2016 18:43 - United States - Portsmouth

Today, I realized I've lost control of my life when I spent entirely too much money on fancy cheese. FML

musiat - 10/04/2016 18:31 - United States - Lafayette

Today, I was texting my aunt and my friend André . My aunt texted that her day was long and hard and naturally I thought my friend André had sent that so I typed back " so is my dick" . Fml

Shafro_0 - 10/04/2016 18:18 - United Kingdom

Today I went on a date with a guy I like. When the bill came I go to my purse to pay my half and he says "Oh no, I can't let you do that!" but I insisted and he said "Oh alright then." We laughed... Shortly after he said "But no seriously, could you pay? I'm broke." I ended up paying for him too FML

anonymous - 10/04/2016 18:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I realized that I made a horrible decision by getting married in my early twenties. I've tried to divorce with my wife more than once and she keeps saying "You Ain't Goin Nowhere".. FML

nodeathtoall - 10/04/2016 18:02 - United States - Festus

Today, I got called in to work twice. This would normally be okay, I love helping out the team. Except for I had been rushed to the ER the night before with liver failure. FML

Barf - 10/04/2016 17:39 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my fiance was kissing all over my neck when he burped unexpectedly. He stopped and pulled away mentioning he kept barf burping. Later on that night by myself, I noticed leftover barf chunks all over my neck. FML

anonymous - 10/04/2016 17:34 - United States - London

Today, I was sexting my boyfriend over snapchat when I accidentally posted one of the pictures to my story. FML

Lucy - 10/04/2016 17:29 - United States - Loveland

Today, I was getting it on with my girlfriend. (we are both girls) As I made her climax, she aggressively punched me in the face because I "kept going" and it made her freak out. I now have a bruised cheek bone. FML

HelloGoodBye230 - 10/04/2016 17:26 - United States - Richmond

Today, my pregnant wife threw a lamp, vase, and plastic plant at me because she wanted Chick-Fil-A on a Sunday. 2 months to go. FML

shareeverything - 10/04/2016 16:53 - United States - Bristol

Today my husband and I found out that my future sister in law and her fiance have decided to have their wedding on our 5th anniversary. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if the bride to be and I didn't already share a birthday. Now I get to share birthdays and milestone anniversaries, yay. FML

seriously1738 - 10/04/2016 16:49 - United States - Concord

Today, I snuck out to Wal-Mart with my best friend. Everything was good until we bought grape soda that looked like wine. The car driving by us called the police for "underage drinking". We were escorted to the police station. FML

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, while working at my truck stop, I helped a trucker check his tires. He seemed like a pretty nice guy, and we chatted for a bit. After he took off and I walked back inside, I went to clean the shower he was in before. Turns out he took a shit on the floor. His wife had been in there with him. FML

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Today, I was asked out by a guy who is doing community service because he was caught peeping through windows. I was tempted to say yes. FML

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Today, my brother was going to get some drinks for a party we were going to. After getting the drinks, he ended up leaving me at home while he went and got drunk like never before. FML

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Today, my girlfriend of 2 months found out she was 4 months pregnant with her ex's baby. She told me I could leave her and she wouldn't blame me, but I decided to stay with her. She told me she loved me and then dumped me because she needed to be with her baby's daddy. FML

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Today, I was walking to school with my earphones in, when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I was shocked, and whirled around to hit him in the crotch. I soon realized he was just trying to return the commuter pass I'd dropped at the station. FML

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Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML

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