Miscellaneous Today I was bitched out because I threw out the last 3 slices... - FML

Anonymous - 16/03/2016 21:34 - United States

Today I was bitched out because I threw out the last 3 slices of pizza because they had gotten old and nasty in the fridge. 3 weeks ago I was bitched out because I ate the last three slices of pizza because nobody else seemed to want them, so I ate them lest they go to waste. FML

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, why is life fucking me from behind like a fucking cunt? Fuck life, I hate life, fuck it, fuck everyone. Why do I suck? Why do i make always bad decisions? Why am I so fucking irresponsible and incapable of fucking anything? Why am I so useless and why do I suck at things I fucking work for and try my best for? FML

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Today, for the first time I sat next to a hot babe. I was feeling nervous, nevertheless, I managed to shyly ask her phone number. It’s only when I arrived back home that I realized there was a digit missing. FML

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Today, my wife told me I’m not worth the trouble. She’d rather overextend herself for complete strangers than spend any time with me. I should've seen this coming. Even before we got married, her favourite line was, “You already had children with someone else, we’ll never be a family.” I tried for nothing. FML

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Today, my 4 year old son told his preschool teacher that his daddy could pick up 10,000 cows but couldn't pick up his mommy because she was too heavy. I'm the mommy. FML

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Today, I found out that my parents are extremely active swingers by finding their online profile with photos of my mom with a dildo. I guess those out-of-town trips weren't just holidays. FML

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Today, I received a dick pic from my partner, with whom, although taking a ‘break’, we were apparently ‘working on things’. He forgot to remove the Grindr watermark from his pic. FML

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