Today, I was taking a break from working on a major computer science assignment where we had to make a video explaining our code. I accidentally left the program running so it captured an hour of footage of me going on Facebook talking with my GF. I misplaced my actual footage and sent that clip to him FML
Today, my boyfriend finally got me to orgasm, for the first time in my life, after trying for months. He started laughing when I climaxed. I asked why. Apparently I look like an Down's Syndrome child when I climax. FML
Today, my cat went into labor. This is surprising since 6 years ago, we paid to have her spayed. FML
Today, according to my wife of 30 years, I'm finally old enough that I look, smell, sound and act like my father. FML
Today, I was in bed staring at two red lights coming from my DVD player. They reminded me of the terminator movies, and I had to unplug it. I'm 23 years old and scared of The Terminator. FML
Today, my plan to prank my husband backfired when I forgot about the "pop-its" I left under the toilet seat and set them off. It not only scared the shit out of me, it also woke up my 2 month-old and my grumpy husband. FML
Today, my boss told me I wasn't getting the promotion I'd been angling for. I was so pissed off, I ranted to a coworker about it over lunch. Turns out my boss was just testing how I dealt with rejection before making his final decision. He overheard my rant and me calling him a Nazi bitch. FML
