Millizz

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Millizz's favorite FMLs

The bitch is back

By thatsucks - 28/02/2009 11:10 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later, I got a text saying, "I just dropped the bitch off, I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I later asked him about it. He said, "Megan, I have no idea what you're talking about." My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

agreeclassic 1 291 239

vote type 1 143 535

MILF Manor

By daughter - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Sweden - Vårgårda

Today, I found out that, for over three years, my boyfriend has solely been dating me to get closer to my mom. Apparently, "she's a total MILF." FML

agreeclassic 30 266

vote type 1 2 387

By Missusluv313 - 17/09/2012 11:25 - United States - Merrillville

Today, I went for my follow-up appointment with my surgeon. He walked into the room and said, "I thought you died." FML

agreeclassic 31 391

vote type 1 1 977

Missusluv313 app_comment_confession_title

Missusluv313 9

Monday 17 September 2012 18:48

Hello everyone! Yes, he was joking. I just didn't find that shit funny. And he actually is a good doctor. But to make up for it, he gave me extra time off from work. I don't think he would do that to/for everybody, but I work at that hospital.

Face it

By dawn - 21/07/2012 16:24 - Canada - Red Deer

Today, I realized that whenever I use emoticons, I tend to make the same face in real life. My coworkers gleefully showed me various pictures with my tongue out, face scrunched up, and so on, while staring at my phone. They've already made their way around the office. FML

agreeclassic 10 015

vote type 1 21 867

By idontgetit - 12/06/2012 23:39 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I proudly told my elitist dad that I now have a beautiful girlfriend. He didn't believe me, so I showed him her Facebook. He demanded that I stop seeing her, saying that the duck-facing in her avatar was the hallmark of "a lower form of being" who would only ever shame our family. FML

agreeclassic 14 009

vote type 1 30 628